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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get annoyed when mnetters put "of" instead of "have"

470 replies

Doobies · 27/12/2010 12:11

I see it more and more often in aibu.

"to of eaten this"

"to of gone out today"

To give a couple of examples.

OP posts:
HappyHECmanay · 27/12/2010 19:08

msk - it means piss myself laughing.

and it's wrong, if you think about it. It should be pml, because 'myself' is one word. It is piss myself laughing, not piss my self laughing.

NiceShoes · 27/12/2010 19:08

PMSL= Pissing My self Laughing
this page has MN acronyms

chaya5738 · 27/12/2010 19:57

YANBU. It irritates me too.

MarianneM · 27/12/2010 20:33

So you need to be "highly educated" to know basic grammar? And it is seen as pedantic to be able to speak your own language properly?

Why are stupidity and ignorance practically celebrated these days?

PawPuss · 27/12/2010 20:48

Thank you Marianne. My thoughts exactly.

amijee · 27/12/2010 21:00

Actually, I think you do need to attain a certain level of education in order to have a good grasp of the english language - including grammar.

Whether the reasons for people using incorrect grammar are ignorance or laziness is irrelevant. I am completely incensed that some people on here think it's ok to correct them - who the hell do you think you are? Just because you wouldn't mind being corrected what makes you think it's ok to treat others in this way.

A few weeks ago someone posted on the sleep section and one of the replies mentioned she sounded very young and was she lacking support. When she asked why that had been said it was because she had made some spelling and grammatical errors. She was understandably very upset and stated she didn't realise she was taking an English test!

I am considered to be a high achiever in a professional job yet I know my english language skills are not brilliant. I think it's because I went to the roughest primary school in the area and never really got the basics.

The attitudes on this thread have really got to me to be honest as it reinforces some of the criticisms levelled at MN.

SantaClausImWorthIt · 27/12/2010 21:02

Nobody is correcting anyone in particular, amijee. The criticisms are being levied at the grammar that is being used.

Like we do with our children - criticise the behaviour not the child.

There is a massive difference.

StayingFatherChristmasGirl · 27/12/2010 21:13

Surely the reason that the question was asked, amijee, was so that those offering advice could tailor it to the person asking for help? Therefore it was relevant to ask if she was 'young and lacking support'.

CoteDAzur · 27/12/2010 21:14

amijee - I'm puzzled by your comment "Who the hell do you think you are?".

Do you think it is extremely arrogant to correct a mistake? So mistakes are never to be corrected because... why exactly? Is it better to protect fragile egos than to teach something?

I'm not a native speaker of English, by the way. I would like to think that I have a fairly good command of the language, and that is after having been corrected zillions of times. It would never occur to me to be upset for being corrected.

I'm not a native speaker of French, either, but after ten years of life in France, I'm fairly fluent. That is also after having zillions of mistakes corrected, some in far more humiliating circumstances than on an anonymous internet website.

Sorry, but I just can't understand what you are talking about. Mistakes are to be corrected.

amijee · 27/12/2010 21:16

Santa - we are not children, we are adults. Why should it be ok to correct adults who are complete strangers to us?

Staying - the assumption was errors in writing = young. It certainly offended the OP.

amijee · 27/12/2010 21:19

"Sorry, but I just can't understand what you are talking about. Mistakes are to be corrected"

So even if posters have not ASKED for correction and are posting about sensitive issues such as relationships and sleep deprivation and loss...then their mistakes should be corrected?

I'll say it again - who the hell do you think you are?

SantaClausImWorthIt · 27/12/2010 21:19

amijee - I will explain this again. No-one on here, least of all me, is correcting any single person. What is being pointed out is a frequent grammatical error that many people make.

Nowhere on this thread am I correcting a specific person. I think I have now said this at least two or three times.

DuelingFanjo · 27/12/2010 21:22

"So you need to be "highly educated" to know basic grammar? And it is seen as pedantic to be able to speak your own language properly?

Why are stupidity and ignorance practically celebrated these days?"

Quite.

This kind of thing really gets on my tits.

StayingFatherChristmasGirl · 27/12/2010 21:22

I realised that, amijee - but the person asking the question was using the grammar and spelling of the post as well as the post itself to help her build up a picture of the OP, so that she could best answer the question - so if the poor spelling and grammar were not indicative of her being young and/or lacking support, it was useful to find that out so that the advice given would be as relevant and useful as possible.

We all do this, surely - look at context as well as text when reading a post/article etc?

amijee · 27/12/2010 21:22

Santa - I understand that you wouldn't do any correcting but many people on this thread have said they would.

Obviously it's one thing to feel pissed off with errors and keep it to yourself and quite another to actually point it out in a thread as some people have done/would do.

CoteDAzur · 27/12/2010 21:42

I would not correct someone who comes to me in a flood of tears, confiding in me about a personal tragedy Hmm

Friend: My husband hit me. He threatens to kidnap the DC and says I will never find them again! I should never of married him.
Cote: Err... That would be "never HAVE married him".

That wouldn't happen.

I would correct mistakes in casual conversation and can't see why you would think it rude or arrogant to do so. If a friend has green vegetables between her front teeth, I would also point that out so she can clean it. Perhaps you would prefer to sit there in silence and let her show the spinach to the world with every smile, oblivious to just how ugly it is? Hmm

amijee · 27/12/2010 21:51

But people on MN are not your friends Cote. They are strangers and it is rude!

And I have had plenty of friends who have said "should of" in RL but I have never corrected them as I am not their English Teacher. Not mentioning the fact that they would probably not wish to socialise with me as much if they think they have to speak the Queen's English when they spend time with me.

I think people are less forgiving if English is their first language as if it is your second language, you are always keen to learn more.

ChippingIn · 27/12/2010 21:54

Ilovesooty If you know how to spell, punctuate and use grammar, in most cases I would think it's simply second nature to write correctly I do know and I do write things correctly, I used to be a proof reader too - but when I am typing I swear my fingers take on a life of their own!!

My brain is 5 sentences ahead and my fingers type some odd things to keep up!! Common ones there/their to/too/two of/off and weirdly our/are... I don't have any problem knowing when which one should be used and would never mix them up when writing, but when I'm typing fast & not really caring that much (chat forum) then I know I make these weird mistakes... but I don't care Grin

Some people clearly don't know the difference and consistently use the wrong word or of instead of have - so what.

Pedants corner is there for anyone wanting to have a chat about it/whinge/get it off their chest!

usualsuspect · 27/12/2010 22:05

How sad to get wound up by mistakes on an internet forum ,and I will type how I please if you don't like it don't read it

CoteDAzur · 27/12/2010 22:06

My point was that I would correct even friends. Because correcting someone is not hurting her.

I would tell a friend or a stranger when there is food in her teeth or when her skirt is stuck in her underwear. This also does not hurt her. It is a good thing to be told about your mistakes so you can correct them.

Possibly, we associate with different kinds of people. Nobody I know would be angry when corrected.

ledkrsbellyislikesantas · 27/12/2010 22:11

if its important for you to always use correct grammar then go ahead and keep a check on yourselves and your children,how fellow adults choose to speak is nobody's business but their own. Reminds me of the teachers who used to correct you with"may i go to the toilet?" instead of "can" i which in my secondary school would have made you an outcast for 5yrs.
Can i ask who makes these rules anyway?

sungirltan · 27/12/2010 22:11

yanbu. its just thick. and i'm dyslexic

usualsuspect · 27/12/2010 22:14

Now you see, I do have a problem with people calling other posters thick tbh

ledkrsbellyislikesantas · 27/12/2010 22:15

rather be thick than pompous and pre occupied with other peoples business.

LunarRose · 27/12/2010 22:16

YABU - English is an evolving language, we don't speak the same language now as we did in chaucers time