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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to feel pissed off that the parcel I lovingly slaved over has apparently been received but no one has even mentioned they've received it, not to mention said thank you

71 replies

justanothersanta · 21/12/2010 20:46

I kind of got it out in the title. Put a lot of effort into my mumsnet santa parcel. Spent quite a bit, and bought vouchers in case they didn't like what I'd chosen; bought wrapping paper, tags, little things for the childrens stockings, books, the stockings themselves, put gift receipts in for everything just in case they didn't like it. The whole thing. Struggled down to the post office with it (it was huge), stood in line for 20 mins to post it, got in late to work feeling quite smug. Tracked it on line, it was marked as delivered last weds.

And nothing.

Not a sausage.

I am not going to pretend to be a lovely altruistic person, I did want someone to say thank you, but what I really want is to just know it's with the right person and not some random person the parcelforce guy just found next door or whatever.

Why would someone not tell me that they'd recived it, even if, for whatever reason, they couldn't say thank you?

So I'm quite cross. And thinking I probably ABU as it was a gift and the joy of giving etc etc. But I would like to know all that effort had some kind of impact.

OP posts:
FairyTaleOfNewYork · 21/12/2010 20:48

have you checked this thread? just in case :)

iPaddle · 21/12/2010 20:50

Aaaw, that sounds a lovely gift.

I'm sure people will now post with lots of reasons why there has been no acknowledgement, but I remember a fair bit of this last year (not so much previous years).

Seems very odd to me. Chin up.

StewieGriffinsMom · 21/12/2010 20:51

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StillSquiffy · 21/12/2010 20:54

I had that once. Thought maybe the poster had RL stuff going on, then saw her posting all over the place on other threads. Left me a bit deflated, but hey ho. Everyone's different and you can't expect people to always do what you'd expect them to. Hell, if everyone was like me I'd run for the hills.

Valpollicella · 21/12/2010 20:56

Or it could well appear it has been received and not as yet...

It's happened to me in the past, and give then state of courier/delivery stuff at the moment, I wouldn't be surpried if it was astray somewhere in the system still and for random reason, showing as signed for

HappyMummyOfOne · 21/12/2010 20:57

Whilst a gift shouldnt be given for selfish reasons, a thank you should always be forthcoming.

Check the response thread, if its not on there Mumsnet may check its been delivered for you. They did for me last year as I sent an expensive box and forgot to put tracking on it as it went out very late (xmas eve due to the few problems with the appeal)and I was just anxious to get it sent.

StewieGriffinsMom · 21/12/2010 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 21/12/2010 21:00

Agree with SGM and Val. Especially on the latter. The huge falling out that was the end of my previously close relationship with my parents was due to a letter which "apparently" the RM tried to deliver at 11.10 (or 10.10 or something). Anyhow, I'd been expecting the letter special deliverly so stayed in all morning and watched the gate like a hawk. It didn't show before 12 - so I went out ~(as I needed to). Got back to find a card through my door saying they'd tried to deliver.....and the time on the card was the same time as my dad's tracking link said.

He called me a liar - said that they'd tried to deliver earlier than I said I left the house. But I know for a fact they didn't - for starters the card wasn't there when I left the house at 12.30.

StewieGriffinsMom · 21/12/2010 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GentleOtter · 21/12/2010 21:02

Some areas have not been receiving post for a while so perhaps your recipient genuinely has not received anything yet. Sadly, some things may not arrive this side of New Year.

Or perhaps they have gone away for a while (and are sleeping on the floor at an airport or Eurostar).

What a lovely gesture, justanothersanta, especially when you have put thought and effort in to the gift.

Megletitsnow · 21/12/2010 21:03

I had this last year. I didn't realise there was a code in the secret santa box, let alone a thank you thread. I think I did thank the correct secret santa in the end, but it took a couple of days to figure it out.

MegletsFormerSecretSanta · 21/12/2010 21:08

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girlsyearapart · 21/12/2010 21:09

Not a secret Santa one but I sent a parcel out to mil kn Australia on dec 3rd or 4th and it hasnt arrived.
Didn't send it registered everything else we ve ever sent has arrived no problems.
Really pissed off as it was a handmade thing I got for her with all the grandchildrens names on.
Stuff usually takes about 7/10 days to arrive.
Anyone know if I didn't send it registered delivery and in a few weeks it still hadn't arrived is there anything I could do??

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 21/12/2010 21:11

This year the Thank you thread has lost it's sticky a couple of times at least (I know I've "reported" the thread and asked for the sticky back twice.....). I've just counted at least 3 threads in "Site stuff" asking where the Thank you thread was........and I'm sure before the current one took off a poster started a thread elsewhere as well. -

perhaps next year once the nominated people's details have gone out to the donators a thread could be started in advance. And an email sense to the nominees telling them where the thread is, and asking (politely) if at the first opportunity they have (bearing in mind that some people that have been nominated are in a bloody awful RL and may not have regular access to the internet) they could acknowledge receipt of their SS and post on the thread (and perhaps also warning them about the codes........I only knew what the "code" on my SS' was for because I've been around on MN for a while.

Original poster
justanothersanta · 21/12/2010 21:13

Thanks all. I have considered all these things, however -

The parcelforce website did seem to track it all the way there (via 3 depots etc) so I'm sure it's been delivered to somewhere in the vicinity, just nervous it wasn't to the right person.

I have checked thank you thread, have been obsessively refreshing every evening since it 'arrived.'

And the stuff about not being able to go online etc did occur to me, but it's been a week...

OP posts:
Original poster
justanothersanta · 21/12/2010 21:15

Have decided that if I do it again next year I'll include a stamped, addressed card and just ask them to put it in the post when they've received the parcel.

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 21/12/2010 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

innerstrength · 21/12/2010 21:16

Sorry but you are being totally unreasonable. It is not Christmas Day yet and surely most people save opening their christmas presents til then, then send thank yous afterwards???? I bet any amount of money it is sitting under their tree expectantly and they would not dream of opening it yet.

Megletitsnow · 21/12/2010 21:17

megletsformersecretsanta ooooo, spooky! That's good to know you did get my thank you.

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 21/12/2010 21:19

justabout - did you see the person that posted on the thank you thread saying she'd only just got back online and seen her nomination email??

The nomination emails went out over a month ago (can't remember exactly when it was that long ago).

A week over the last week of term, with young children isn't really that long. If I'd not had internet access at home it would have been just over a week before I'd have had a chance to get to the library to post a thank you (which is a bloody scary thought and makes me realise how lucky I am to have internet at home there all the time). I literally had no time to go any further than the corner shop last week.

I know there's a few people have posted on that thread without mentioning any codes - so if you're just searching for you code it's possible to miss it perhaps?

carriedaxmaspudding · 21/12/2010 21:21

best to give with no expectations imo.

can understand howyou feel though

herbietea · 21/12/2010 21:23

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TheMonster · 21/12/2010 21:24

YANBU

IAmReallyFabNow · 21/12/2010 21:24

I sent a gift last year and have no idea who it went too as they never posted that it had arrived never mind whether what I had sent was okay. It was only small things as I was asked to send to more people than I was expecting so had less to spend on each person. I felt a bit hurt I didn't get a thank you. Two words was all I wanted.Blush

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 21/12/2010 21:30

I recieved a gift a couple of years ago (it made me cry it was so lovely)

However to my shame Blush it took me a very long time to come on and say thank you

It arrived whilst we were in a another city with dd2 in hospital for 2 weeks following an emergency op on her bowel, and when we returned dh had to fly to scotland to collect dd1 for a belated christmas.

So give the recipient the benefit of the doubt and I'll say a huge thank you for her. The MN parcel I recieved made my christmas it no doubt will make hers too...