to think 6 children shouldn't have been left alone while parents went to (daytime) drinks party?

[secretskillrelationships]

Not sure whether IABU or not.

Just found out that ex spent a few hours at a drinks party leaving our DCs (13, 10, 6) with another friend. I assumed she looked after them but she went to the party too, leaving her 2 DCs. Then turned out another child stayed to play. So that meant 6 DCs aged 13 to 6. Someone checked on them every half hour or so 'and they had our mobile numbers.' The party was for grown-ups only.

Yesterday I was feeling pretty ill and had to go to bed for a sleep in the afternoon. DD (6) kept quiet and played on her own (no music or DVD so as not to disturb me) for all of that time, and brought me a drink and gave me a stroke and a cuddle when I woke up. If a six year old can be that responsible on her own, what on earth is the problem with leaving a six year old with an older sibling or two?

seeker, hear hear.

Thanks for all the responses.

I guess it all comes down to what we are personally happy with given our own experiences as teens and as parents.

I feel uneasy about the situation because it is not what I would have done. I'm not saying I'm right or wrong but I do think as a parent you have to listen to your gut instinct. I don't think it's appropriate to do things because other people think it's okay.

However, they were with their dad so I have to recognise his gut instincts are different. That said, I don't have to like it! I would much rather have had the DCs with me, or even had all 6.

Will be interesting to hear the DCs take on it.

My 13 yo cooked stuffed peppers this evening. Yum.

When are they back secrets?

DCs now back. DD not impressed with dad 'dumping' them to go to a party and also felt bad for her brother as older boy wasn't there. She said he was a bit left out and didn't really know what to do with himself.

Have checked with DS and DD. No negotiation/guidance given, DS1 not asked to keep an eye on them, or put in charge. Basically children just left to get on with it while the parents went to a party at which children were not welcome.

Interestingly, my mum thinks this is completely unacceptable - and this is someone who was happy for me to go into town with 3 friends when I was 10 (town being London) and let my sister go youth hostelling at 14 with a friend, so she didn't exactly wrap us in cotton wool.

YANBU and more so it is illegal to leave infants in the care of a minor. If anything had happened the police/ss could have put all of your kids in temporary care until they had investigated the situation.

The law regarding leaving children alone changed in 1998. Loads of people are unaware of it and are largely unaffected by it but if there is an incident and the police find the children unsupervised then they have the power to hand your children to SS for temporary periods of time until they find out whats what.

I wouldn't do it and it is just not nice or fair to leave a bunch of kids with nothing better to do whilst they are off having fun. Have fun with your kids!

fine to leave a 13yr on their own, tbh many 10/11yrs are left on their own when coming home from school for a few hours till their parents get home from work

but not fair to leave the responsibility of care of younger siblings/friends on their shoulders

and def wouldnt leave a 6yr old on their own with only another child looking after them

im wondering what time this drinks party was-if during the day, then why not allow children, if at night then should have got a babysitter

Party was during the day and children were definitely not invited! DD, as I said, felt dumped by dad, but did actually have a good time. Not so worried about her and DS1 but very unhappy about the 2 6-year olds.

Will be having words with ex when I can without eavesdropping DCs but difficult as any perceived criticism kicks off a huge reaction from ex and leaves me feeling very bruised.

I think GingerJams post is scaremongering and deliberatley frightening and OTT.
The 'Home Alone' factsheet, gives the parent the responsibility for what age and what circumstances they leave their children in.