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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be gutted and feel like a big fat twat

98 replies

woahthere · 18/12/2010 23:59

that I might be pregnant with my 4th child.
First 2 children with 1 partner, both accidents (beautiful happy healthy ones). 3rd with present partner (planned) who I love deeply (both), we had agreed no more children. I secretly liked the idea of having another baby with my partner but I really love him so much I would NEVER get pregnant 'accidentally'.
My period is 3 days late, I had spotting 4 days ago and then NOTHING and I am beyond shitting myself that I am pregnant. We have no space for another baby, he does not want another baby, I will have to delay getting my life back on track...again. Words cannot describe how shit scared I am right now and what an idiot I feel because....
(when drunk i apparently said) dont worry i cant get pregnant now (i was on my period)
sob
sob
sob

OP posts:
horsemadgal · 19/12/2010 00:02

Test!

Original poster
woahthere · 19/12/2010 00:03

ive got one, am waiting till morning to do it as thinking it will prob be most effective then

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 19/12/2010 00:07

Oh dear :(

I'm probably not the best of people to be replying to you right now - I'd love to be pregnant.

I always feel like if you have 3, what's one more?! But I know it's nowhere near that simple :(

3 days isn't much and you've had some spotting - I had a period like that last year and there wasn't a chance in hell I was pregnant.

See if you can get a test tomorrow and do it.

If you are, then you'll just have to face it head on and you and DP will have to make a very difficult decision.

ChippingIn · 19/12/2010 00:08

whoathere horsemadgirl - are you the same poster?

Original poster
woahthere · 19/12/2010 00:10

errm, no, why?

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 19/12/2010 00:14

the names OP.

if you were a horse mad girl you would say "woah there".

so sorry for you that this is bad news. i am the same as chipping. I'd love another but i can totally understand how this is just not a positive thing for you. do you think your partner would come round to the idea?

Original poster
woahthere · 19/12/2010 00:15

hate horses, think they're scary

OP posts:
horsemadgal · 19/12/2010 00:18

LOL its a long time since I've said woah there.

Anyways I'd test now, else I would never sleep. If positive you'll at least know, if negative then can always test again.
Good luck whatever the outcome.

Original poster
woahthere · 19/12/2010 00:19

I feel so guilty, like Ive made something happen that he didnt want to happen. He is a great, I mean GREAT man, and because of this I know he will be understanding, but at the same time, I know that he did not want this and it makes feel so sad. We already have my 12 year old and 3 year old sharing a room, my daughter is in a tiny box room. Where will this one go?!

OP posts:
Original poster
woahthere · 19/12/2010 00:20

and Im sorry for those of you who cant have children or are struggling, it must make you so angry with people like me and make s me feel like an even bigger twat

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 19/12/2010 00:20

could teh 12 year old have the box room and the smaller 3 have the bigger room? bunkbeds?

you can get bunks with a double on bottom.

horsemadgal · 19/12/2010 00:23

Don't feel guilty, you said he's a great man, he'll understand, after all it wasn't your fault.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 19/12/2010 00:24

Op i am a firm believer in everything happening for a reason, or as my dad says "what's for ya won't go by ya".

Original poster
woahthere · 19/12/2010 00:24

Im so regular usually. How likely is it, actually that I would be pregnant from having had sex whilst on my period?!! We actually had a heated debate about this the other night because I argued it could be when we were fooling around and not being particularly careful where things went!

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 19/12/2010 00:25

does your DP know you are late? what has he said?

horsemadgal · 19/12/2010 00:26

Just go test. Could be worrying about nothing.

Original poster
woahthere · 19/12/2010 00:29

he knows, like i said, we had a debate the other night. apart from that he is remaining fairly tightlipped apart from when we went to the supermaket, I nipped to the loo to check anything going on, came back and he said I didnt get the test yet, you know to see if our lives are about to be ... (i know he was thinking ruined)

OP posts:
Original poster
woahthere · 19/12/2010 00:30

only got one test, what if its too early, then i wasted a test!

OP posts:
LoopyLoopsOfSparklyFairyLights · 19/12/2010 00:30

Take the test now. If you're 3 days late it won't need to be first morning urine. Either way, that will help you start to think about things more constructively.

And you never know, his reaction might be different from what you expect. :)

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 19/12/2010 00:30

would it really be terrible if you were to have another baby? is he blaming you?

Original poster
woahthere · 19/12/2010 00:33

i dont know iloveit, is it not a bit stupid and irresponsible to have 4 children. Its awful really but I know people are going to talk about me

OP posts:
iPaddle · 19/12/2010 00:33

This is so huge, and you're worrying about wasting a test!

Stop being ridiculous, go and test now

santascoming2town · 19/12/2010 00:35

I would say very unlikely you're pregnant. I do natural family planning and from what I know of that you can't get preg while on your period as you can only get preg while ovulating and when on period you are not ovulating. (prepared to be told I'm wrong by loads of people who say it has happened to them!)

How long is your cycle normally? How many days ago was unprotected sex?

Original poster
woahthere · 19/12/2010 00:37

my cycle is usually exactly 28 days, I can barely remember the sex, I think it was prob about 3 days after I started my period.

OP posts:
Alambil · 19/12/2010 00:38

it takes two people to make children. Physically, you can not do it alone, so if he acts like a jackass, remind him HE HELPED TOO.

and who cares what others say? what's to say? ooh 4 kids.... wow... doesn't really have much gossip kudos to me!