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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be gutted and feel like a big fat twat

98 replies

woahthere · 18/12/2010 23:59

that I might be pregnant with my 4th child.
First 2 children with 1 partner, both accidents (beautiful happy healthy ones). 3rd with present partner (planned) who I love deeply (both), we had agreed no more children. I secretly liked the idea of having another baby with my partner but I really love him so much I would NEVER get pregnant 'accidentally'.
My period is 3 days late, I had spotting 4 days ago and then NOTHING and I am beyond shitting myself that I am pregnant. We have no space for another baby, he does not want another baby, I will have to delay getting my life back on track...again. Words cannot describe how shit scared I am right now and what an idiot I feel because....
(when drunk i apparently said) dont worry i cant get pregnant now (i was on my period)
sob
sob
sob

OP posts:
santascoming2town · 19/12/2010 00:41

If sex was 3 days after period and you are 3 days late in a 28 day cycle then if you were preg you would definately be far enough along that time of day would not matter in testing. So test now and find out where you stand!

Still don't think you can be from that time tbh. Is that 100% the only unprotected time?
From what you've said then 17 ish days ago would have been your peak time to get preg.

Original poster
woahthere · 19/12/2010 00:41

Am going to get to bed now and will report back in the morning, pray for me that the flo fairies come in the night (sorry that was a terrible pun)

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 19/12/2010 00:43

Woahthere - I would never be angry at someone in your situation, well, not because I would like to be pregnant. I am a little cross with you for putting yourself in this position.

You were playing with contraception because you do want another baby - you know you do, you have said so. So although I know you didn't do it 'on purpose' to 'trick' DP - it's not really an accident either is it. We are very good at subconsciously meeting our needs - it's the way we're made (men & women).

You need to have a really really good talk about where you both stand on having another. What you will do if you are pregnant, if you aren't how you both feel about another - who will compromise etc. I would do this before testing so that you can both be a bit more objective and talk about possibilities rather than this baby.

If you are pregnant you have at least 15 months to work out where the baby will go - maybe it will stay in your room for another year or so, maybe you will move, maybe the kids will have to share in a different configuration - it's really not a big deal. Other things are more important - you feeling you life is on hold, your potential income etc

I hope it works out however you want it to x

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 19/12/2010 00:44

I don't pray but i will hope for flo fairies!!

Original poster
woahthere · 19/12/2010 00:45

juat seen your post santa, like i said before. we had one of those naughty sessions whre youre all over the place, we didnt have sex, but there was a lot of here, there and everywhere, ha! sorry, so, too much info but I dont know how else to explain. That was at ovulation time

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 19/12/2010 00:45

and it's none of anybody's business how many children you have. don't feel stupid.

I'm wondering if you worrying about this has made you ovulate later and so caused your period to be later.

ChippingIn · 19/12/2010 00:46

So what if people are talking about you having four kids - sod them, if they're going to talk about you they'll find something to say and they aren't the sort of people you should even give a passing thought to!

ChippingIn · 19/12/2010 00:47

Here there and everywhere can get you pregnant but it's not hugely likely.

Why not do the test now?

Original poster
woahthere · 19/12/2010 00:54

chipping in, we have talked about it, he says we will deal with it and i quote 'live through the hell' Sad
not the nicest thing to know. we are a strong couple though.
i dont know i would purpose;y di it, i know the consequences and have had to have an abortion before, it still hurts now

OP posts:
DitaVonCheese · 19/12/2010 00:56

Test now, though fwiw I think it's pretty much impossible to get pg on day 3 of a 28 day cycle, unless he had super-sperm that could survive for 11(ish) days when the max that it can usually survive for is 5 days. Or you have a very friendly fanjo Wink Good luck :)

Original poster
woahthere · 19/12/2010 00:57

thanks night all x

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 19/12/2010 01:01

fwiw woahthere. when i got PG with ds2 (unplanned) EXp (was current) was horrified at the thought of it. really angry (not at me, just angry at the situation), kept seeing the negatives, kept saying "what have we done?" but he did come round and he got excited and of course he loves ds2 to bits now.

MotherOfSuburbia · 19/12/2010 01:12

On the space issue - we have 4 dcs, 7, 6, 3 and 1 in a single bedroom with 2 sets of bunks - we made one specially to fit over the cot. It's a bit of a riot but they love it. I know with a 12 yr old it's a bit different but you often find kids will muck along quite happily.
Good luck either way!

MsKLo · 19/12/2010 08:05

Let us know how you get on x

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 19/12/2010 08:09

Hope that the test brings you the result you really want. xx

NestaFiesta · 19/12/2010 08:18

woahthere- this a cliffhanger- have you taken the test? I've got drawn in now and can't look away. TAKE THE TEST!

shinyshoesandglitterypoos · 19/12/2010 08:25

Oh what a predicament. Look do the test and deal with the consequences, you have no choice really.

And then tell him if he doesn't want any more children to get himself done FGS. You've done your fair share of having your bits messed about with in the circs. :(

Good luck :)

Aloneinthehouse · 19/12/2010 08:25

Hope your ok and the test brings some answers

mumblecrumble · 19/12/2010 08:36

Just reading and hope your test goes well....

He will support you what ever you guys decide. Let us know!

MumInBeds · 19/12/2010 08:41

Just read this, I hope the test brings the news you want.

ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 19/12/2010 08:45

Hope you get the result you want.

bubblebabeuk · 19/12/2010 08:45

marking my place, desperate to know the results. All the best though OP and what ever the result you'll work it out I am sure :) hugs

supernoodlesrock · 19/12/2010 08:48

Another one here thinking of you both, it's a horrible feeling and worrying just delays af even more.

piratecatClaus · 19/12/2010 08:50

op, hope you are ok. x

Rindercella · 19/12/2010 08:51

Morning OP. I hope the test gives you the result you want.

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