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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be gutted and feel like a big fat twat

98 replies

woahthere · 18/12/2010 23:59

that I might be pregnant with my 4th child.
First 2 children with 1 partner, both accidents (beautiful happy healthy ones). 3rd with present partner (planned) who I love deeply (both), we had agreed no more children. I secretly liked the idea of having another baby with my partner but I really love him so much I would NEVER get pregnant 'accidentally'.
My period is 3 days late, I had spotting 4 days ago and then NOTHING and I am beyond shitting myself that I am pregnant. We have no space for another baby, he does not want another baby, I will have to delay getting my life back on track...again. Words cannot describe how shit scared I am right now and what an idiot I feel because....
(when drunk i apparently said) dont worry i cant get pregnant now (i was on my period)
sob
sob
sob

OP posts:

Original poster

woahthere · 19/12/2010 09:11

Good morning everyone, I have taken the test and it was negative!!!! Still dont understand why Im so late. It does sort of make me wonder after what you all said though that if I had fallen pregnant from when I was on my period surely it would be showing on a test by now. I am just going to put the thought aside for today and hope things get moving later. Can you believe I was actually searching on the internet for bedroom solutions! It will all be alright in the end.

OP posts:

shinyshoesandglitterypoos · 19/12/2010 09:12

Hurrah!

netbook · 19/12/2010 09:26

Feelingsensitive · 19/12/2010 09:44

Now go and sort your contraceptives out!

Piggles · 19/12/2010 09:44

You've said yourself that he is a GREAT man... I'm sure he won't nastily hold it against you if you are pregnant again... accidents do happen, and feckin bollocks to anyone who is rude enough to make narky comments if you are pregnant with #4.

My mum was one of 4, my dad was one of 5, my DH is one of 5, my mum's daddy was one of 13! Nothing is wrong with big families.

Conception while you are on your period is perfectly possible (though not too likely). However, sperm lives for a few days, eggs live for a few days... if you have a short or irregular cycle... well, they are actually fairly likely to meet up even if you think you are having pretty safe-ish sex.

If you are pregnant again I wish you all the very best (even though I am trying so hard with no luck to get knocked up envious)

It may stress you a little, but honestly I'd wait until I could wee on a stick without interference and sort myself and my future out then.

If you are really wigging out about pregnancy then it might be a good time to pee on a stick and talk about contraception... of the permanent no more kids variety.

DitaVonCheese · 19/12/2010 09:47

Congrats

Piggles, how on earth can you get pg during your period (specifically CD3) on a 28 day cycle?

Piggles · 19/12/2010 09:47

Awww, late post. Glad you have got the result you wanted (?) even if you have a slight mystery going right now.

mumblecrumble · 19/12/2010 10:00

Sperm can live for 7 days there fore can live up to when you ovulate.

May I recomend the implant..... You never thinkabout it and often it stops your periods...

Srry you've had a scare, glad all is well

DitaVonCheese · 19/12/2010 10:04

I've read 5 days at the outside, but even 7 + 3 is only CD10, and even with a long luteal phase of 16 days you'd ov CD12 of a 28 day cycle so you'd have to be spectacularly unlucky

MainlyMaynie · 19/12/2010 10:35

Sperm live up to 5 days in fertile cervical conditions (i.e. will be less during your period). Day 3 of a 28 day cycle, it would be virtually impossible to get pg. Believe me, i have spent enough years trying to get pregnant to know this stuff.

piratecatClaus · 19/12/2010 10:53

op you can stop being a twat now. pleased for you x

northernrock · 19/12/2010 11:42

I got pregnant on day 4 of a VERY regular 28 day cycle. Only time I had had sex that month so totally conclusive.

You would think it would be impossible. It aint.

Mind you, I seem to get pregnant if I sit next to a man on a bus...

werewolf · 19/12/2010 11:45

I guess it depends on what you're doing with him, northernrock...

verytellytubby · 19/12/2010 11:46

Glad you got the result you wanted.

Lonnie · 19/12/2010 11:54

I had a regular 31 day cycle after dd1 with a lutheral phase of 14 days (I was doing natural family planning so charted every day) we avoided i/c during what would be my fertile period as we didnt want a due date of 1/1/00 for our next baby (remember the hype about the millenium) we had i/c on day 5 and she was born January 6th with a EDD of 1/1/00

So even when you are usually very regular it doesnt always work

Original poster

woahthere · 19/12/2010 12:29

well it may be a good result for now, still not got my period though
I have had a coil fitted before, it gave me excruciating pain, I cant take certain types of the pill because i get migraines, i tried taking cerazette for a while because of endometriosis but it left me with zero sex drive which i found a bit depressing. We are usually very good with using condoms but rightly or wrongly just always thought it was ok when you were on your period. duh, wont be taking the risk again!

OP posts:

chitchatinsantasear · 19/12/2010 12:43

Not wishing to be the bearer of bad news, but a negative test isn't as likely to be true as a positive test is, so if you don't get your period in the next few days take another test!

Also, I would say it was the 'here there and everywhere' session that could have been responsible, and not the sex during your period. A bit of semen on a finger, fingers roaming..... voila!

northernrock · 19/12/2010 12:52

Doesn't everyone do that on buses werewolf?

togarama · 19/12/2010 12:57

Sometimes even women with v. regular cycles can ovulate earlier than usual for no reason. (I usually ovulate on cd18-19 but it happened on cd 13-14 twice in 5 years.) Sometimes women may also experience bleeding which isn't a period. Both of these things could make a pregnancy possible even when apparently unlikely. You have to follow v. strict rules and monitoring if you want to use fertility awareness as part of your contraception. Counting days and relying on previous cycle data is part of it but less effective on its own.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 19/12/2010 14:27

i bet you get your period this evening or in the morning!!

glad it is the news you hoped for.

RudolfThePinkNosedReindeer · 19/12/2010 14:31

Glad for you that you got a negative test. Next job - get some contraception!!

ChippingIn · 19/12/2010 16:22

You really do need to have a good talk about whether he will consider another one or not though if you really do want one. It's not easy.

I'm pleased if you are pleased
I'm sad if you are sad

I can't imagine how you must be feeling today.

Original poster

woahthere · 19/12/2010 17:29

i dont believe the test to be honest, i feel even more anxious today

OP posts:

piratecatClaus · 19/12/2010 18:13

guess you won't feel 100% until you get your period.

ChippingIn · 19/12/2010 19:35

I wouldn't either :(

It's not conclusive - why don't you make an appointment at the Drs tomorrow - put your mind at ease.

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