to be a bit horrified that Boots are recommending CIO?

[JenniferCanesten]

As I am signed up to the Boots Parenting Club for the vouchers, periodically I get sent a magazine relevant to DS's age.

The other day I got the 5-9 months one in the post and flicking through it was a bit shocked to see this (on pg 12):

"from 6 months, you can leave your baby to cry for short periods. Try five minutes at first, then gradually extend the time so she'll learn to settle herself."

I find it very cross-making that they are presenting this as though this is an irrefutable part of parenting whereas obviously CIO/controlled crying is a pretty controversial method that many parents, myself included find cruel and unnecessary and possibly damaging.

They are GIVING ADVICE to people, which is a position of responsibility! I don't bother getting annoyed by many things but this has really pissed me off!

GetOrfMoiLand - what an excellent post.

youre on the money tonight GetOrfMoiLand.

Hmmmm.

I think all my posts on this thread have been excellent.

Christ, though.

Why am I on a controlled crying thread.

I need to go back to my MN spiritual home (talking about Colleen Rooney and what eyeliner to use)

Re CC - I remember leaving dd to cry because I was simply at the end of my tether in more ways than one. I let her cry for a few minutes, all the time sat on the sofa crying myself. All those shrieking 'damaging' assume that CCers are all Cruella De Vil types smoking a cigarette with a cheroot and laughing manically at their crying baby.

The truth is far more complicated and human than that.

You lot have got to stop with all the compliments, or I will assume that you are all as pissed as I am

not me.olives are my only vice

YANBU at all, very sad.

oh dem poor weans im crying into my irn bru,the ignominy of it all

Still waiting for a link to real evidence that "controlled crying"/sleep training is harmful to babies, so far two links to newspaper interviews have been published which have not actually explained in detail what is being criticised.

there is a big difference between completely ignoring a crying child, and "controlled crying" - the clue is in the name "controlled".

The Penelope Leach article mentioned earlier said babies have more stress if allowed to cry "night after night".
CC with my 2 cut down immensely on the amount of crying they did at night. With both of them there was 2-4 nights of crying whilst doing the CC and then they slept through. Overall far less night waking and crying.
I've not seen any evidence that controlled crying or it's varients makes any difference to children if it works as it usually does. It made a huge difference to us as parents and did improve our relationship with our kids as we were happier and less tired.
I'm happy for other folk not to use CC but I think on a section in a baby book on sleep it seems a sensible thing to put in that alot of people do this and it usually works.

Yanbu, Boots are a bloody irresponsible bunch putting that in their literature.

I'm horrified at the lack of awareness on this forum.

Controlled crying is at times, when done properly, not an issue - but it needs doing properly and boots are not giving anything in terms of decent, detailed advice on this.

What they are promoting could be construed as CIO or worse by many uneducated parents. It's dangerous and it's stupid.

CIO is wrong and damaging - I'm not talking about being WITH the child in an unavoidable situation, but planning to leave a child to cry is jut not on.

How on earth can the suggestion that 5 minutes controlled crying be misconstrued as leaving a child to cry it out endlessly???
Surely if you have the cognitive ability to read the article, you also have the ability to know what 5 minutes means?
Credit people with slightly more nouse!

Lack of awareness on this forum??
Only from the OP. Most posters have shown they have the capacity to evaluate evidence, discriminate between evidence and opinion, and also to make their own, reasoned judgement calls when it comes to raising their own children.

YABU. And not only because you don't know what CIO is. (What OP talks about is CC, not CIO).

what OP talks about us crying down actually.

CC is a namby-pamby version of cio cooked up by some toss pot who couldn't bear to let the weans cry.

CIO worked for me

sucks on cigarette holder eyeing next doors dalmatian meaningfully

Yawn..yawn..these threads are all so same-ish it's getting so tedious.

Crying is so harmful..yadda..yadda..i couln't survive without it..yadda yadda

The trouble is you have people who really don't know about something and giving an opinion about it.

FWIW there is a massive spectrum of crying and I challenge any of you who say they NEVER let their babies cry. You would either have only one child with masses of extended family or you would be living on the moon.

My experience with my 3rd dd ( 6 months old) is this - by doing very short bursts of crying when she was going down for her naps or in the middle of the night ( never more than 10 mins) from about 3-4 months of age, I have managed to avoid controlled crying as she wakes up only once a night for a feed ( still bf)

So....have I done more or less damage to her as a result????

us = is.

i would be able to type, but looking after my two traumatised toddlers is too distracting. Poor little bodies, sleep training just broke them.

wraps furs tighter around self, and yells at sycophant for more tea

Why the fuck in EVERY debate about EVERY level of CC/CIO does every single bloody parent think that THEY are RIGHT?????

Can we not ever think of accepting that parents are different, children are different, and what works like a charm for one family can be absolute hell on earth for another?

Stop being so arsey, the lot of you. I'm sure every single parent here did what they believed was best for their child, and did it with love.

And sorry I only read the first 2 pages before I had to write this so may apologies if thread has moved on/chilled out.

Goodwill to all n all that :)

But how am I supposed to have a drink and a sneaky B&H if I don't leave my baby to cry Right back to the bottle/breast feeding topic for some rational, well thought out debate

Getorf is spot on with this.

If a child is safe, well looked after and happy, then no-one has a right to judge other's parenting.

Things that seem so important and all encompassing at the time are really very insignificant in the grand scheme of life.

The truth is, once your children get past the baby stage, no-one is going to give a flying frog whether you bf/ff, used CC, weaned at 24 weeks. And anyone who claims they can tell whether you did these things just by looking at your perfectly normal children will be lying.

My advice to anyone with small babies is to do whatever it takes to make your life as easy as possible, without crossing whatever your personal comfort boundaries are.

AIBU to be annoyed that people still say things like "CIO/Controlled Crying" - making out they're both the same thing - they're not.

FWIW - I don't consider 5 minutes CIO (I would never use CIO - but have used CC in the past and it was exactly what we needed at the time and I'm eternally grateful to my HV for helping me through it).

I wasn't equating the two things, was meaning that in debates about either it tends to descend into the 'My way was RIGHT!!!' sort of thing. I found this very distressing when ds was tiny.

Am very sorry if that was annoying though, was not what I meant at all.

it's ok - it just irritates me the way that people tend to think that CC and CIO are both exactly the same thing.

As for the "my way is right" - that always happens

"baby whsiperer is THE right way"
"no no no, co-sleeping is THE right way"
"no CC worked for us"
"no swaddling is the only way to go"
"no I used the really really controversial CIO but it worked"
"no rapid return"
"no pick-up/put down (or whatever it's called) is the THE right way"
"no the right way is just to let them learn to go to sleep in their own sweet time even if they're still not sleeping through at 8"