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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put up a dead man's Christmas cards?

46 replies

MemooMerrilyOnHigh · 14/12/2010 14:36

DH think I am a total loon.

I have lived in this house for 9 years. According to the neighbours the old man who lived here before me died in the house after living here for 50 odd years. Every year we get several Christmas cards arrive for him and every year I put them up as I feel its like a little mark of respect.

Dh thinks its weird and a tat morbid Xmas Sad but I can't just put them in the bin!

OP posts:
walkinginaWUKTERwonderland · 14/12/2010 14:38

No return address is there?

I'd put them up, not morbid at all.

Lulumaam · 14/12/2010 14:38

it's the sort of thing i would do too ( DH also thinks I am weird though Wink ) but if there was a retunr address, i might drop them a line though and update them?

YANBU

it's lovely to celebrate the life of someone even if you've never met them, gone but not forgotten sort of thing

BunnyLebowski · 14/12/2010 14:39

YANBU.

I think that's lovely. I don't think I could bring myself to bin them either Sad.

Good for you.

scurryfunge · 14/12/2010 14:39

I think I would try to find out who the senders are.

Thingumy · 14/12/2010 14:40

Bit odd tbh.
We still get cards for previous owner who has long since died,I open them to see if the sender has left an address so I could let them know.Sadly no forwarding addresses so far.

ChippingIn · 14/12/2010 14:40

I would put them up too - it is a nice thing to do, a little respect, kindness.... I would have a special space for them and not mix them with ours though - an area that is for him.

I expect a lot of DH's would think it a bit barking - but hey ho - who cares Grin

Yulephemia · 14/12/2010 14:41

Aaw Memoo I think that's sweet. I'm sure he would be touched.

It just shows what a piece of nonsense people's Christmas card lists are, though, doesn't it?! I more than halved our list (passed on to me by my MIL) when I realised that not only had I never met most of the people on it, I didn't know or care whether they were alive or dead! (And, more importantly, neither did DH, and they were his bloody rellies!)

onmyfeet · 14/12/2010 14:41

I think is is kind of sad :( ...I guess you wouldn't want to write "return to sender, receiver has been deceased since 2001?" on them?

Spidermama · 14/12/2010 14:43

Hmm. I'm in two minds.

One one hand I'd bin them. They're not meant for you and it's sad and creepy to hang them up. The people who have written them can't be great friends with the deceased man if they don't even know he's not around any more.

On the other hand he lived in your home for 50 years so a part of him is still there and it's nice for you to give him a nod at Christmas by hanging up his cards.

I hold both of these views with equal strength. Xmas Confused

ChippingIn · 14/12/2010 14:43

(If they had addresses on them I would send them a note in the New Year to say he passed away some time ago)

Original poster
MemooMerrilyOnHigh · 14/12/2010 14:44

There is never a return address otherwise I think I'd write a little note to the sender. Feel so sad for the man, the neighbours tell me he was a real loner, never had any visitors and barely went out.

OP posts:
noddyholder · 14/12/2010 14:45

I am in this situation atm and I have put them up.Apparently the old man who had our house was lovely and was only the second person to live in it since 1880! Hello spider Grin!

MarniesMummy · 14/12/2010 14:46

Sweet!
That's called having a bit of Christmas spirit, not being odd.

Go to it memoo

Original poster
MemooMerrilyOnHigh · 14/12/2010 14:46

Yeah! Noddy Xmas Grin

OP posts:
Thingumy · 14/12/2010 14:48

what about birthday cards?

ChippingIn · 14/12/2010 14:48

Spidermama - that's why I would put them in a different place, it would feel weird to put them with ours, like I was pretending they were for us... but by putting them in their own space with a few deccy's it would feel respectful of him and his time in our home.

[However - if they were just for the previous twatty owners I would 'not at this address' or bin if no return address. They are still living around here somewhere but I might change that if I found them - farking idiots they were!... and breathe....]

Original poster
MemooMerrilyOnHigh · 14/12/2010 14:49

Never any birthday cards. I do put them up in a seperate place, usually on the shelf in the hall.

OP posts:
Original poster
MemooMerrilyOnHigh · 14/12/2010 14:50

Don't like the sound of your old neighbours Chipping!

OP posts:
Spidermama · 14/12/2010 14:51

Same here chipping. The previous owners - avid fans of No More Nails and expert problem hiders - also live nearby here. I would bin their cards.

Hi Noddy. Did you get the house round the corner? Will keep an eye out for you up at Tesco. Or knowing you, down at Waitrose. Wink

Guacamohohohole · 14/12/2010 14:55

If he lived there for so long, is he buried locally? I'd feel weird putting them up but if this was me I couldn't bin them either; if I knew (could find) where he's buried I think I'd take them to his grave.
Does that make me a nutter?

mammyshere · 14/12/2010 14:57

YANBU.

its a beautiful sentiment and testament to how good a person you are. (though not the people that send these cards- as others have said they cant even be aware that he has passed!)

noddyholder · 14/12/2010 14:59

(I am indeed round the corner.But Witrose or tesco?How very dare you sainsburys for me!)Grin

glovesoflove · 14/12/2010 16:28

YANBU I think it's lovely Xmas Smile

Spidermama · 14/12/2010 16:35

(Grin @ Noddy. Will look out for you.)

missismonky · 14/12/2010 16:53

YANBU. I'd do the same. I think it will make your house happy.Smile