to be fed up with my DC's Christmas performances being spoilt by noisy smaller children?

[gonaenodaethat]

I've been to several Christmas performances/concerts/carol services in the last few days. My DDs (12 and 8) have practiced hard with all their classmates and were looking forward to them.

Each time though though, all their efforts were drowned out by the persistant banging, shouting and general noise of pre-school siblings.(one in particular)

Now, my children were small once and I understand it can be difficult to keep them quiet but I don't get the mentality where no effort is made to engage or keep them quiet at all. FGS, if all else fails, take them out. It's so distracting for the big kids who have put so much effort in.

I'm not talking about a little bit of noise, I know that's unavoidable, I'm talking about sustained noise right through the whole thing. At one point this particular child tried to get on the stage!

Anyway, feel a bit tight as he was only wee but couldn't help being p'd off.

I still remember the words that the old head teacerh at the Junior school said to me 2yrs ago after I took DS3 out of the Easter Service because I felt he was being too noisy. I apologised to him afterwards for the very loud laughing all the way the very serious first song. He looked at me and barked

"It was a service, not a concert/show - next time keep him in unless someone (staff) asks you to leave"

So I have done ever since - and the new head teacher is just as lovely.

Have to confess though I am slightly nervous about Sunday evening at the 9 Lessons and Carols at church with DS3. I have a horrible sneaky feeling that DS3 is going to "help" DS2 with his solo at the start of the service and there is absolutely nothing I'll be able to do about it

And I'll tell you about noisy inappropriate spectators.

Imagine a proper theatre hall full of parents and siblings watching choirs from 4 different schools performing Christmas songs. An actual concert.

There's young siblings opening sweets, parents whispering proudly to each other - all part for the course with 200 children on stage and the audience being close to them.

Oh but one adult proceeded to p*ss everyone else off by bellowing "COME ON CHELSEA", "CHELSEA YOU'RE THE GREATEST" "GO CHELSEA" etc etc during every single silence until half way through (went he got a small "boo" from everyone else in the hall). AND laughing/talking loudly out loud about the soloists/speakers/readers from each school during their performance. His DD wasn't even doing one of those bits.

My god I'd listen to a screaming toddler all the way through the DS's Christmas services this week and every school service/show until they leave school than listen to THAT again.

scottishmummy you seem very angry.

I'm neither pushy nor the pits. And my wean is not spluttering. Leave her out of it.

bemused seeing you involved everyone else wean.what yer beef.kids noisy in performance,so what?

some spluttering primary weans in school play wont be irrevocably damaged by ambient noise

parents ego maybe bit bashed

so no biggie

where did this the mini-artistes need silence come from its a school play

operative word being school, part of community and all that.full of families and noisy weans

not pricey best seats at rsc

I'm not talking about other people's weans. I'm talking about parents who let their weans do what they want and make as much noise as they want with no consideration for other people or other people's weans with no effort to engage them in some way.

I don't want silence, I don't want no little children there. I just don't want unsupervised pre-schoolers running rampant around the room screeching and banging and ruining the whole thing.

behave is a school play.free and expect disturbance.this notion of lil performers needing silence and ambience to perform is risible

school is part of the community,many in the community are parents.there will bve some disturbance.naturally people try limit but maybe they want to shush a greetin wean and watch it too

i abhorr this notion of closed set and quiet at a school play

"I think a school play is the one place where we should be welcoming little people and encouraging them to learn how to sit quietly through a performance."

zzzzzzzz - I agree.

gone- trust me - if you'd sat through the concert I described above you'd think that preschoolers running rampant round the room was heaven.

He does sound like a nightmare Baroqin. Who would do that? You should've given him a lolly to shut him up.

Or a slap.

I can only think of one thing at either of the DS's schools where they may ask someone making a lot of noise to leave - and that's the end of year musical in the Junior school. But it is unique among the performances they do, they have auditions and everything for it.

Parents with preschooler children are encouraged to buy tickets for their afternoon performance though and I think last year one parent managed to persaude the school to let her take her younger children to the "dress rehearsal" that the siblings at the infant school (and all of the YR2's that are going up the following year) attend.

Although I've never seen anyone with a younger child that's making noise being asked to leave, as usually the parents leave the room before it gets too much and come back in as soon as the child is calm again.

I tell you I wanted to slap him as he made fun of the first soloist (who happened to be from DS1's school) - I had the misfortune to be sat directly in front of him for the first "set" (and the first whole choir song - which he sang along to OUT OF TUNE and loudly). Thankfully I spotted a seat a few rows in front and made a dash for it as the next school choir was coming to the front of the stage for their set of songs and I could only hear his comments very faintly after that - although his bellowing was loud enough for the entire audience to hear

Poor Chelsea.....my best friend to me afterwards

"Chelsea was the one with the red face" - dread to think what it was like in school the next day for her!!

He just sounds mean.

I blame the parents

our school is doing 3 performances and we were asked that if we had to bring small children, then to bring them to the Monday performance. I took 15 month old dd today and she was bloody awful, full scale tantrum cos I wouldn't let her play with the digital camera. As soon as she kicked off I walked out of the hall but was in tears as I desperately wanted to see my 4 year old dd as an Angel. Luckily one of the teachers and a TA were my xmas angels and insisted on taking the screaming small one so I could go back in and see dd. When I came out she was in the nuture group with year 4's enjoying a biscuit. . I am really very lucky that the school would do that for me as I would never have sat there in the hall if she was screaming. Sad as it is, I would have to have missed the show rather then spoil it for everyone else.

DS2's infant school has no preschooler's rule and it seems perfectly reasonable to me. Of course we aren't listening to oscar winning performances but the children doing the performing still work hard to do their bit and some of them can barely be heard when the room is quiet let alone when a toddler is running around or a baby is crying. The children on stage are distracted especially if they realise its their parents aren't paying attention because their younger sibling is being noisy.

The school did try to get people to take their preschoolers out if they started making noise but people just didn't bother.

If you can't find anybody to take care of your child the ladies in the school office will look after them so nobody has to miss out and the preschoolers don't have to be bored and restless.

I don't generally want to exclude children though - it is fine if the person up the front is an adult. They can cope with a little background noise a lot better and still be heard.

Niece - they get round that problem (of small voices not being heard) at the DS's schools by using microphones

YANBU, OP.

Everyone on here that has said they think YABU are likely to be the selfish people that think that their enjoyment of the play must be more important than anyone elses. And that the hard work of the teachers, children and parents involved does not deserve to be respected above a toddler doing what toddlers do.

No, it's not an RSC performance, it's one I have the potential to enjoy far far more. I love the school plays, its one of the many wonderful things about being a parent, and I don't think any parent has the right to spoil that for someone else because they have younger children that they can't keep quiet. I know it's hard and small children are unpredictable, but that's not every other parents problem.

A little noise is acceptable. Not being able to hear the lines you have been helping your child practice for weeks is not.

curly - so what do you say about a HEAD TEACHER saying that children shouldn't be taken out if they're making noise?? Christ I felt like a kid again when he told me off for taking DS3 out of that Easter Service

Yes the sound of small children being excited and spending time with their family and community has no place at Christmas.

YABU. I have no choice but to take my littlest ones to the play. I will try to keep them quiet, but they are children.

I would say that the head teacher should consider the feelings of everyone else before he says things like that. You were willing to do the right thing and not spoil everyone elses enjoyment of seeing their children do something special, he had no right to tell you not to. He does not have the right to speak for every other parent there, or for the children that were performing. Head teachers sre only that, they are not God, and they are not always right.

As for your ds3 on Sunday, if he does that it would be adorable! If he was doing it for other childrens solo, you would be wrong to allow him to stay, but if it's during your own childs solo performane then nobody elses opinion really matters. Nobody else will care as long as he doesn't ruin their child's solo

Curly - I think as an extremely HT he had every right to say that. He was sat near the front of the parents and hadn't even heard DS3

Anyhow - DS3 singing will be a DISASTER for DS2.........have started a thread asking for suggestions as I have no option but to allow him to stay (and if he did it during someone else's solo he'd get away with it from everyone in church but me)

YANBU.
I agree with CurlyMama.

It's not about being precious. The schoolchildren have worked hard, some will be shy and quiet and barely audible anyway (but their performance matters just as much as the loud-spoken ones), the teachers and TA's will have worked hard; hiring microphones is ludicrously expensive and not feasible for lots of children to use/pass between them. Other parents might be equally annoyed but not dare say anything about it. The children on-stage get distracted and lose their concentration (or their cues), or get embarrassed if it's their family making the noise. I attend varous plays at schools where I am involved but have no children myself still attending there, so I have no vested interest in cherishing any particular child's performance, and I am very disappointed and a little angry myself when the noise level and disturbance from the audience takes over the performance of a play/concert/show/service.

If I had a good relationship with the school/headteacher, I would write a note or have a word, and mention that you imagine many people found it very difficult to appreciate the play and could there be an adults/older children-audience only performance next time.

Another one whose primary school provides a creche. We are specifically asked to remove noisy children. I think this is right, they work so hard, and it's a shame if the LO's upstage the ones on the actual stage!