to be worried about my daughter's weight?

[BigFatPudding]

My daughter is 14 months and weighs about 14 kilos - that is just over 30 pounds, or about 2 stone 2 pounds.

She is off the centile charts, by a fair bit, in that she'd have to maintain her weight for 6 months or so to even hit the 99.8th centile.

She weighed 12kg (1 stone 12) at 6 months of age, then her growth levelled a fair bit and she weighed about 13 and a half kilos (2 stone 1) at just under a year old.

She is also off the chart tall, but that only means a bit, in that she still looks very rotund, with incredibly thick thighs, so thick that I can't really dress her in jeans - even size 2 simply dont fit around her upper thighs. She's a tunic and leggings kind of girl for the time being.

She got there on milk alone really, in that she was weaned at 6 months, by which time she was already 12 kilos. She was formula fed due to the fact that nobody could get her to latch on in hospital, tried everything including the newborn belly crawl, skin to skin, etc, and in fact at the point we decided to let her try some formula from a bottle (about 2 days old when she'd had nothing and they were threatening SCBU) she wasn't really interested in that either - she was 9 pounds 2 born, yet not a hungry baby, and in those early days if anything I was worried about her weight plummeting. Oh the irony!

She she ended up formula fed, I never "overfed" her as such from the point of view that generally speaking, apart from the odd growth spurt when she'd demand an extra bottle in the course of the day, she'd drink the amount that was given as a guidance on the back of the formula tin for her age.

She didn't take to weaning that well, needed to be encouraged a bit, though got better at eating as she approached her birthday. She now eats 3 meals a day and has a bottle of cows milk in the morning and a bottle in the evening of about 6oz each but no snacks. At the same age, her brother would be having 3 meals, 2 snacks, and if you didn't feed him bang on midday and bang on 5pm he'd roar the place down. My daughter is no such child - she can wait till whenever before she eats.

She eats no "junk" - we never go to McDonalds, have chocolate buttons, I dont give her biscuits, she has cereal for breakfast (Oatibix, generally) some kind of lentil or chickpea dish for lunch, or a sandwich if we are out and about, 50/50 bread spread with a little light philadelphia with onion and chives and a little turkey ham, and I generally offer her a banana for "pudding". Dinner is generally some meat like chicken, with vegetables, a corn cob, some mash, or some fish with the same, that kind of thing. If she has a drink, its water, or water with a dash of orange juice or apple juice, but that is generally only with lunch and I'll give her that same drink to finish with dinner. She doesn't really drink a lot of fluid.

The portions are the same kind of portions that I see my friends giving their normal-weight children, I have baby plates and cutlery, she really doesn't take that much and a lot of it ends up on the floor.

She's been seen recently by the HV and our GP and neither have concerns about her weight on the basis that she will probably level out when she starts walking, which she nearly is, and they (thankfully) believe me when I tell them what she eats and in what quantities.

With all that in mind though, am I being unreasonable to still feel concerned for her? How did she get to be so fat on what most babies would not get fat on? What does this mean for her in the future? Does it mean she will never be able to enjoy biscuits, chocolate, a glass of wine or 3, a Friday pizza or Saturday curry without piling on the pounds?

I'm sure other parents who dont know me think I'm overfeeding her or feeding her crap. I am on the chunky side, overweight but not obese, I am just under a stone overweight, I wear a size 14, 12 top mostly. Her father is BMI 24.9, so one cupcake away from being overweight on the charts (!) he wears a 32 waist trouser and looks fine, no pot belly or anything, thin face etc.

I dont really care what other people think of me really, to be honest, as I know what I'm doing, and I'm doing my best, but AIBU to be concerned? What would you do if you had a child with these stats? Would you do anything differently?

Well YANBU to be concerned, because she is so vastly off the scale. But, you have been reassured by the medical professsionals, you are feeding her all the right things so don't panic.

Perhaps keep a detailed food/activity diary and a growth/weight chart if you are still concerned? If the weight doesn't level off when she starts walking you would have something to show the GP. There could be a medical reason why she is large, and a detailed diary would get you access to any help faster.

Hello

I know you are worried but i would go with the professionals on this one. My brother was a huge baby but is now a lanky 6 foot teenager! I really would not panic as she soon as she is active the overall roundness will fade. I have the opposite a skiny baby but he was early (by 10 weeks) - for the record he is around 10kg at 14 months (but should not be one yet)

Oh, and my DSIS's DS was absolutely huge when he was little! She used to have to clean between the creases in his skin (all over the body!) very carefully because he just had rolls of fat. Much larger than any other child in our family. He's now a perfectly average sized, slightly taller than average, very, very sporty 13 year old!

hmmm, my own experience is that all my DCS were on the chunky side as babies, it dropped as they became youngsters and then at around the 11-14 year stage they got really quite fat. they are now 17 and 20 and size 10 and 12 respectively so i woudln't worry too much. Sounds like you are being careful - ignore all the posts to come that tell you you are a mad, child-abusing unfit mother

if you are concerned speak again to the health visitor. She does sound big but if she is tall too it may explain it. You do not say how tall she is but maybe ignore the chart for her age and look against her height and see if she is roughly level with weight at whatever age it plots her height as. Don't forget a lot of those charts were designed in 1950's so not all children match them. If gp and hv are not concerned then it is probably likely they are doing as I suggest. If you are still concerned you can ask to see a dietitian and see if she has any further ideas. They will get you to keep a food diary and either put your mind at rest or tell you their suggestions. My dd1 was born on 75 percentile but followed 25th for ages at 9 months old I was told she was obese as she had moved back to 50th percentile. She is now aged 8 just below 9th percentile so slightly underweight but her diet etc has been checked so I no longer worry. Hope this helps.

She will lose weight when she starts walking. It's sounds like you are doing everything right. If drs aren't worried then you shouldn't worry for now. A detailed diary is a good idea.
Yanbu

Its scary though. And when I hear people talking about their chunky babies in real life, these babies are often 75th centile etc! It freaks me out.

My mother was saying to me "oh dont worry, you were very fat as a baby!" and when I found my booklet thing when she'd done a clear out I worked out that I followed the 75th centile! (I was exclusively breastfed though so in those days, 1970's, I guess that was chunky for an EBF baby)

On one hand I'm worried because she doesn't seem to eat that much compared to others but on the other hand that's encouraging, in a way, because she seems happy to regulate her own appetite and it seems inevitable that she will level out at some stage! I think I'd be more concerned if she seemed insatiable and I couldn't satify her...I guess that would be more indicative of a problem.

Thanks for the reassuring posts!

BFP she will be fine first time mothers always scare you more as they battle over every achievement and milestone but all children develop at different rates and stages the most important thing for you is to not let it become a battle as then it could become a problem just go with it and seek advice if needed but try not to fret as your dd will pick up on this and may cause problems later on

Just to add to this, My DD is 12 months old and weighs 13kg, which means by your DD's age she will be about the same.

I also worry about her always having to watch her weight, and as she will be very tall (I am 5'11 and DH is 6.5) I worry that she will become very insecure about her size as a teen. But my DH is a beanpole and I am average but was whip thin until my late 20s, so we are hoping she will thin out when she starts walking too (can't do much about the height). But then I think, there's so much to worry about TODAY, if I start worrying about 13 year's time I will go mad.

I don't know if this will help, but a doc once told me that as she was in proportion (though big as well as tall), if I was that worried about her being off the percentile chart, I should get a Dutch or Danish chart, then she would be at about 70%!

You've done everything you can. You're not overfeeding her or giving her an unbalanced diet. The medical people think she'll drop weight when she's walking.

Relax.

If you're really worri walking. It probably won't make any difference to her weight but it's good for balance and will help strengthen her legs for walking.

Sorry, Should be if you're really worried try taking her swimming.

Nice to hear from you Kenobi - sounds like our two are pretty much the same, her height is also in proportion, though at this age that still makes for a very fat looking baby - those legs!

Can you dress yours in jeans? I know jeans dont matter but they are so practical, I wish I could dress her in jeans!!!

I do wonder if she carries it round her upper thighs. Stand by in 15 years time for an "AIBU to let my daughter have lipo for her 16th birthday"?

Its weird because when she was born, whilst 9 pounds 2 and a week early, she had these amazing bird like legs - not an ounce of fat on them. They were like a racehorse's legs, but a baby, err, if that makes sense! I said to DH "ooh she'll have killer legs!" (she sure showed me arghrrrrr)

She'll be fine, my rational, unemotional practical side knows that. But my whiney insecure side questions just how she came to be such a little porker with so little effort and whether this can ever be a good thing...

YANBU to be a bit worried but she is still young, and once she is walking her shape is likely to change.

In terms of weight - that's what my son weighed at around 3.5 years, so yes its a lot for a 14 month old baby.

In terms of what I would do:

• Stick to her current diet which sounds sensible (check portion sizes though - presumably using semi skimmed milk?) - maybe keep food diary.

• Get her weighed 3 monthly & have chat with your HV.

• Take her swimming once a week (its fun anyway), and once walking, esp once over 18 months encourage her to walk rather than always go in buggy.

• If still over 91st% centile at 2nd birthday (or 21 months) make GP appointment, and ask to see specialist?

Oh thanks Narky. We go swimming most weeks as it turns out - I have an older son who loves it so we all go along, and she loves it.

She likes climbing too, maybe I should get her to do a few staircase climbs before I let her have her lunch

In fact, she's full of energy really - she doesn't heave herself about like that poor child on that documentary about parents who feed their children chips all the time (even though she probably actually weighs the same as that)

MumNWLondon - semi-skimmed milk is not recommended for children under the age of two.

I don't think you should worry at all - I never weighed my DS but he was a hugely porky baby despite really not eating that much. He didn't walk until he was 20 months though and he lost a lot of weight very quickly as soon as he started being able to move around.

I think if you stopped weighing her, you'd be a lot less anxious. If the GP/HV are happy then please relax. My mother's anxiety about my weight gave all of her daughters (including me) food issues and you really don't want to go there. She's still a baby :)

Regarding semi-skimmed - I was keen to move her over to semi skimmed but the HV advised against it at this point and said to wait till 18 months on the basis that she doesn't drink a lot of milk (2 x 200ml bottles a day which she doesn't drain) and the change would only yield a calorie difference of 30 per bottle, so 60 overall, yet semi-skimmed does contain less Vitamins A and D (which is why they are not recommended for under 2's)

Different story if I was giving her a lot of milk apparently but then the focus would be on getting her off the milk and onto proper food...

I see the logic though, of not giving a child who is already fat, extra butterfat (which is essentially what dairy fat is, whichever way you look at it)

So you've already got her swimming, she's on a healthy balanced diet in appropriate portion sizes and the doctor is happy she'll balance out when she's walking.

What else could you possibly do! She sounds fine BFP. Once she's running about she'll change shape. Ignore the centiles and take a few months off from the weight checks. Keep doing all the good stuff and stuff the scales.

BFP I know, it does, and I certainly couldn't claim she's slender, though she's very muscley. She does look a bit odd in the baby room at nursery - she is just a scale bigger, like as though someone has taken a normal baby magnified it slightly!

DD carries it in her tum and has arms like a washerwoman - her thighs are relatively normal! We buy jeans for 18-24 month old from Polarn O. Pyret (big Swedish babies) and roll them up. They look v. sweet. I'm kinda hoping that when she slims as a walker (as everyone promises - shall we hold them to it?!) I can keep using them for a while.

MumNWLondon - I remember from when you started the 'all baby clothes are too big' that your kids are slim/small for their ages so I'm not sure your small 3.5 year old vs big baby who isn't walking yet, are entirely comparable.

Tbh, I think I would be aking for a referal to a specialist. I might be talking out of my arse, but aren't there some diseases that make people gain lots of weight? There was a girl in DS kindergarten, who was so obese that she could hardly walk and IIRC she had some kind of illness.

FWIW DD is 22 mo and barely 13 kg- and she's not skinny.

How tall is she exactly?

Don't worry about her weight! She's eating healthily and not stuffing her face at every opportunity (that could indicate a metabolic disorder or something).

As soon as she starts walking, the weight will drop off her as she'll be burning huge amounts of calories.

Please don't put her on a diet or make her 'exercise' - its guaranteed to give her issues in later life - and don't compare her to other children with different metabolisms, you'll drive yourself crazy!

Firstly, the reason there is a 99.8th centile on the charts is that 2 babies in 1000 will be at or above that line so it's perfectly normal.

Secondly, she is very tall so you would expect her to be a lot heavier than average.

Thirdly, you are giving her a healthy diet and the healthcare professionals are not worried about her health.

So pat yourself on the back for raising a bonny, healthy girl. Well done

Ignore the scaremongering. If, once she's been walking for three months or so, there is still an issue, then go back to the doctor.

All my tall friends have very chunky babies. They seem to chub up until school when they grow very quickly and become slim.

Hi,just wanted to add that you should try not to worry.your dd obviously has a v healthy diet and will definitely change shape when she's walking.When I look back at DD's 1st birthday photos her face just looks so round!like most 1st baby photos I would imagine.
My DS is 22lb at 6 months and at off the charts for height.His half brother was a very very chubby baby and is now a 6ft 2 skinny 14 year old so please don't worry and enjoy the last few months of really chubby cuddles.

Hi,

I wouldnt worry about her weight, she most likely slim out when she is walking and toddling about,
My dd's was both born at 7pound5, dd1 got chubby quickly and was off the charts. when she started walking she lost a lot and slimmed out she was 11kg 1year old, she is now normal weight for a 4 year old,
dd2 on the otherhand is very small for her age but she is in proportion, she is 2.3years and only weighs 11kg, I can not get her to put weight on,
Both girls eat the same meals and they are quite the same size portions. but dd2 will not put weight on, as the health professions think she is healthy and told me not to worry, I have stopped worrying,
I have kept diet diary for dd2 and the dr said she is eating the right amount and the right food,
so try not to compare your daughter as it is no good for you, and every child is different,