to be worried about my daughter's weight?

[BigFatPudding]

My daughter is 14 months and weighs about 14 kilos - that is just over 30 pounds, or about 2 stone 2 pounds.

She is off the centile charts, by a fair bit, in that she'd have to maintain her weight for 6 months or so to even hit the 99.8th centile.

She weighed 12kg (1 stone 12) at 6 months of age, then her growth levelled a fair bit and she weighed about 13 and a half kilos (2 stone 1) at just under a year old.

She is also off the chart tall, but that only means a bit, in that she still looks very rotund, with incredibly thick thighs, so thick that I can't really dress her in jeans - even size 2 simply dont fit around her upper thighs. She's a tunic and leggings kind of girl for the time being.

She got there on milk alone really, in that she was weaned at 6 months, by which time she was already 12 kilos. She was formula fed due to the fact that nobody could get her to latch on in hospital, tried everything including the newborn belly crawl, skin to skin, etc, and in fact at the point we decided to let her try some formula from a bottle (about 2 days old when she'd had nothing and they were threatening SCBU) she wasn't really interested in that either - she was 9 pounds 2 born, yet not a hungry baby, and in those early days if anything I was worried about her weight plummeting. Oh the irony!

She she ended up formula fed, I never "overfed" her as such from the point of view that generally speaking, apart from the odd growth spurt when she'd demand an extra bottle in the course of the day, she'd drink the amount that was given as a guidance on the back of the formula tin for her age.

She didn't take to weaning that well, needed to be encouraged a bit, though got better at eating as she approached her birthday. She now eats 3 meals a day and has a bottle of cows milk in the morning and a bottle in the evening of about 6oz each but no snacks. At the same age, her brother would be having 3 meals, 2 snacks, and if you didn't feed him bang on midday and bang on 5pm he'd roar the place down. My daughter is no such child - she can wait till whenever before she eats.

She eats no "junk" - we never go to McDonalds, have chocolate buttons, I dont give her biscuits, she has cereal for breakfast (Oatibix, generally) some kind of lentil or chickpea dish for lunch, or a sandwich if we are out and about, 50/50 bread spread with a little light philadelphia with onion and chives and a little turkey ham, and I generally offer her a banana for "pudding". Dinner is generally some meat like chicken, with vegetables, a corn cob, some mash, or some fish with the same, that kind of thing. If she has a drink, its water, or water with a dash of orange juice or apple juice, but that is generally only with lunch and I'll give her that same drink to finish with dinner. She doesn't really drink a lot of fluid.

The portions are the same kind of portions that I see my friends giving their normal-weight children, I have baby plates and cutlery, she really doesn't take that much and a lot of it ends up on the floor.

She's been seen recently by the HV and our GP and neither have concerns about her weight on the basis that she will probably level out when she starts walking, which she nearly is, and they (thankfully) believe me when I tell them what she eats and in what quantities.

With all that in mind though, am I being unreasonable to still feel concerned for her? How did she get to be so fat on what most babies would not get fat on? What does this mean for her in the future? Does it mean she will never be able to enjoy biscuits, chocolate, a glass of wine or 3, a Friday pizza or Saturday curry without piling on the pounds?

I'm sure other parents who dont know me think I'm overfeeding her or feeding her crap. I am on the chunky side, overweight but not obese, I am just under a stone overweight, I wear a size 14, 12 top mostly. Her father is BMI 24.9, so one cupcake away from being overweight on the charts (!) he wears a 32 waist trouser and looks fine, no pot belly or anything, thin face etc.

I dont really care what other people think of me really, to be honest, as I know what I'm doing, and I'm doing my best, but AIBU to be concerned? What would you do if you had a child with these stats? Would you do anything differently?

Well, we have friends who have a four year old. Until he was 18 months he was the chubbiest, fleshiest thing you have ever seen. And these people are organic carrot types , who really made an effort with his diet. But he was definitely overweight. At two, once he started walking, his weight became more normal.

He is now a normal, well-proportioned four year old. I was struck by the comment about the children of tall parents being large, because his are unusually tall {both parents over 6 foot).

I think that pre-mobile babies need to be quite fat, really. Because once they are mobile, their tiny attention spans mean they just wouldn't manage to ingest enough without the fat stores they already had!

They must cover miles each day, I'm sure of it...

BFP - you are obviously doing the right thing. Children do vary an awful lot, not just from one child to another but as an individual child grows, too. I had a baby on the 91st centile for weight who is now the skinniest 11yo you ever saw, about the 10th centile I think (at least, the school nurse letter last year said he was a healthy weight so I assume he must be over the ninth?) As others have said, feed her well and wait for her to walk.

A good friend of mine was referred by her HV/GP to the dietician as her DS was measuring much the same as yours.

The dietician ran some bloods to rule a couple of things out, then advised semi skimmed milk and normal low fat yoghurts and not too much fruit / sugary stuff.

He's walking now and has slimmed a bit though is still quite big for his age.

So if it does continue to concern you, you could ask for a dietician referral - I'm not saying that you need to or should, just that it wouldn't be an unreasonable thing to request if it IS bothering you / your DH - and they'll have seen it before with other people.

My DS1 was a total porker.. he was 22 pounds (10kg) by 4 months of age.. total buddha shape and permanently hungry.. would sob for food... By age 1 he was a LOT heavier than his 2 yr old sister and I was worried sick he would be obese. The HV told me to cut his milk at 4 months of age...

At 2 he was still fat, at 3 chubby.. and somewhere between 3 and 4 he slimmed out incredibly! He is now a very slim, toned, and light 17 yr old and we always laugh at his baby photos because it is so hard to believe it was him..

Meanwhile his sister was a thin baby a thin child and a thin 18 yr old, who can out eat him any day of the week!

I'm sure your DD will slim out/grow into her size as she becomes mobile.. :)

As an aside why would you want her to wear jeans, babies in jeans are wrong, rigid, stiff and uncomfortable.

Baby clothes are best.

My son was 30lb by 9 months old! My HV was concerned and made me take him to a pediatrician who laughed us out and said if it's still a problem when he's 2 then we'll investigate...otherwise she had no concerns.
My DS now 2.7 is on the 99.8th centile but so is his height. As soon as your daughter is running around it'll all even out.
YANBU to worry, weight gain like our children can sometimes be indicative of other things such as diabetes but my son was fine and I'm sure your DD will be too!

My DS always bulks up then growth spurts make him all leggy again.

I look at him sometimes and think, oh Lummy, he's got a bit chubby. Turn around what seems like a day or so later and see that he's suddenly grown into it.

She is tall, she is not quite walking, she'll burn it off once she is mobile.

Think the swimming is a fab idea!

Don't worry love, relax, and enjoy your adorable soon to be toddler!

Birth weight should double at 6 months and treble at 1 year and your daughter seems pretty much bang on, enjoy the chubbiness, it'll be gone before you know it!

Both mine were very chubby until age 2, and it all dropped off from there.

HV told me when my DS was 6mo he was the biggest baby of his age in our town!

But she also assured me he was in proportion and nothing to worry about.

Until he was about 2 he was so chubby he looked as if he would burst!

Now both lovely and slim and athletic.

if health professionals are not worried then don't stress about it.

My DD has always been on the 98th for height and weight and she carries it in her thighs too. I used to worry lots about it, especially as she started walking at 9 months and so I couldn't even use lack of walking as a reason for her chubbiness.

She is now 4.6 and starting to slim out more, generally by growing upwards. She is about to start reception after Christmas and she was noticably taller than her classmates when we visited for a taster session. She also has huge feet - size 12 and the biggest problem I have with clothes is that they are not long enough in the body for her - she was wearing an age 4-5 dress today from Next (so generously sized) but she was wearing it as tunic top as it just covered her bum! We also have trouble with tops as the necks are usually too small for her head.

We are all above average tall in our family so she was never going to be small. All normal weight too.

on her second birthday DD was 90th centile for weight & 50th for height! Thankfully she has grown a bit since then, but is still a bit on the "short & stout" side - she eats healthily & runs around alot, so I'm not worrying about it - I think they need a bit of padding when they're little to cushion their inevitable falls!

"I think that pre-mobile babies need to be quite fat, really"

Misguided twaddle. Why do they need to be fat?

OP don't worry too much but once she's walking if she doesn't slim down have a rethink.

And it is worth bearing in mind that research shows a link between how fast a baby puts on weight between birth and 9 months and childhood obesity.

So equally don't stick your head in the sand. But the OP isn't doing this. But talk of pre mobile babies needing to be fat, or fat helping cushion falls is misguided if used to play down the risks of a child being a big way off the charts.

I only pass this on as my paed in SE Asia mentioned some Chinese families overfeeding babies formula, as fat babies are prized.

Otchayanye - I think the PP who said that babies need to be fat was being quite jokey - she essentially said the reason why was because their attention spans are so short once they start walking, they never eat.
I'm not sure it was meant to be taken entirely seriously...

Otch - the OP gave us lots of detail of how healthy her DDs diet is - she is not deliberately ovrfeeding so really not much else she should do.

I hope no-one is advocating toddler diets - now that WOULD be barking.

Chubby babies and toddlers are common. Most slim down once thay start charging around.

Of course the OP said she is not deliberately overfeeding. And the diet seems healthy enough.

But if a child has put on weight very quickly in the first 9 months of life (although the OP's baby started off big, right) and is some way off the chart, it would be foolish not to keep an eye on things. Which the OP is doing. All well and good then. Probably will even out, people are right there.

I mention the 'babies need fat' comment as it is prevalent in almost all cultures and can lead some people to ignore weight issues. Again, I stress the OP isn't guilty of this.

My best friend's child was an enormous baby and shot up in weight. She laughingly calls her (now 5) chubby, and deliciously chunky -- all nice positive, sweet and endearing words. In one way this is lovely, and she's positive and not passing on anxiety about weight. But there is no getting around the fact that her child is obese by quite a margin.

I am not a dietician. But have heard that putting a toddler on a calorie restricted diet or low fat diet is wrong. But there are other things that can be done, but it's a long-term game and needs direction of medical professionals.

So what is OP supposed to do in your opinion otch?

She gives her DD a healthy diet, she gets plenty of exercise. Should she try the Atkins Toddler regime perhaps?

These are very young kids, a wait and see attitude is needed.

And how do you know your friends child is obese? What does her doctor think?

Even 5yos can still be chubby and lose all that weight in a matter of months.

I have an 11yo DD who is very healthy, certainly not an ounce overweight, but she now thinks she is fat because the mother of one of her friends has told her whole milk will make her fat

Eating disorders are becoming an increasing problem for primary age kids and we need to tread really carefully in dealing with toddler chubbiness.

Well, I'm not a medical professional, although I have in the past covered the sector.

But if it was me, I would continue to offer healthy food, take my child to places where she can get some exercise (softplay, swimming etc) and wait until she's been walking a bit. If she continues to creep higher off the charts I would seek a paediatrician's and/or a dietician's advice. Quite soon actually, I would hope before the age of 2.

My friend's child is obese. Beautiful, but obese. It is obvious. She is wearing clothes for several years older than her age and is very fat. And she ignores what the doctor says. Her call.

I agree we need to tread carefully, but at the same time childhood obesity is very real, causes horrid lifelong health issues and we ignore it at our peril.

Fears of engendering a food disorder (and it's never down to one person's comment) is not an excuse not to tackle it.

I am only repeating what my paed said, which is in many children, weight is 'set' to a degree if you like by the age of two. Some will differ from this of course, but by and large if you have a very large (or very skinny) 2 year old it is very, very hard to move from this during later childhood.

Actually babies do need to be fat if they get ill. When my DS was hospitalised for a week at 9 months and didn't eat, it was the fact that he was such a porker which kept him alive. Granted, that doesn't happen to most babies but that's where that comes from.

This child is 90cm tall FGS - my DS is now nearly four and he's not much taller than that.

I don't want to scaremonger and I don't advocate diets for toddlers (I'm not a dietician so know little about children and diets) and I do agree that there's a careful line to tread.

Just wanted to say that you shouldn't poo poo any concerns and that a fat toddler is likely to stay a fat child and become a fat adult. And that comes with risks. But they are just risks, not certainties.

I don't want to cause worry and I don't want to be anti-fat

according to this pediatrics.about.com/library/growth_charts/ngirlsbirth.htm she is perfectly proportioned for 30 months old. I know she is not that age yet but I would imagine this is why gp and hv not concerned as she may have just had her growth spurts early on and by 36 months or so will have levelled out. My friends dd did this and at age 8 is exactly same size as her peers but at age 3 looked huge

Sorry OP I haven't read the whole thread but wanted to say this:

my DD2 is also 14 months and actually we have the opposite problem, as she weighs 8 kgs and has done for the last 8 months!

We've had a food diary and seen by lots of people, including a paediatrician. She is fine. She eats fine, she is just very very slim (made worse by the fact that she is actually on the 98th centile for length, so she looks ever so thin!).

I have stopped worrying now about her as there is not much more I can do. I think it's probably the same for you in reverse. If her diet is appropriate and she's been seen by a specialist then maybe it's just her genes playing their part - that's what we have been told by the paediatrician.

Good luck though, I know how much I've worried about my DD and it must be similar for you. Actually keeping a food diary was good as I realised how much she was actually eating, so it helped to reassure me I was doing all the right things.

If your friend is ignoring doctor's advice then she is foolish, otch.

I don't agree with your paed that weight/ shape is set by age 2.

Both mine were shaped like rubber balls at age 2 and are most decidedly not now at age 9 and 11.

Ds is very tall, broad shouldered and muscly and is set to be a prop forward. he has abs like iron and is only 9!

DD has perfwect, athletic figure, does lots of sport snd dancing. Certainly not skinny but why should she want to be?

I am not alone, lots of friends have found the same.

I know this is only anecdotal, but if a paed had told me to put DCs on a diet at 2 I would have told them where to go!

Incidentally, are you outside the UK otch, as in the UK you usually only have DCs under a paeds care if they have a specific health problem.