to be worried about my daughter's weight?

[BigFatPudding]

My daughter is 14 months and weighs about 14 kilos - that is just over 30 pounds, or about 2 stone 2 pounds.

She is off the centile charts, by a fair bit, in that she'd have to maintain her weight for 6 months or so to even hit the 99.8th centile.

She weighed 12kg (1 stone 12) at 6 months of age, then her growth levelled a fair bit and she weighed about 13 and a half kilos (2 stone 1) at just under a year old.

She is also off the chart tall, but that only means a bit, in that she still looks very rotund, with incredibly thick thighs, so thick that I can't really dress her in jeans - even size 2 simply dont fit around her upper thighs. She's a tunic and leggings kind of girl for the time being.

She got there on milk alone really, in that she was weaned at 6 months, by which time she was already 12 kilos. She was formula fed due to the fact that nobody could get her to latch on in hospital, tried everything including the newborn belly crawl, skin to skin, etc, and in fact at the point we decided to let her try some formula from a bottle (about 2 days old when she'd had nothing and they were threatening SCBU) she wasn't really interested in that either - she was 9 pounds 2 born, yet not a hungry baby, and in those early days if anything I was worried about her weight plummeting. Oh the irony!

She she ended up formula fed, I never "overfed" her as such from the point of view that generally speaking, apart from the odd growth spurt when she'd demand an extra bottle in the course of the day, she'd drink the amount that was given as a guidance on the back of the formula tin for her age.

She didn't take to weaning that well, needed to be encouraged a bit, though got better at eating as she approached her birthday. She now eats 3 meals a day and has a bottle of cows milk in the morning and a bottle in the evening of about 6oz each but no snacks. At the same age, her brother would be having 3 meals, 2 snacks, and if you didn't feed him bang on midday and bang on 5pm he'd roar the place down. My daughter is no such child - she can wait till whenever before she eats.

She eats no "junk" - we never go to McDonalds, have chocolate buttons, I dont give her biscuits, she has cereal for breakfast (Oatibix, generally) some kind of lentil or chickpea dish for lunch, or a sandwich if we are out and about, 50/50 bread spread with a little light philadelphia with onion and chives and a little turkey ham, and I generally offer her a banana for "pudding". Dinner is generally some meat like chicken, with vegetables, a corn cob, some mash, or some fish with the same, that kind of thing. If she has a drink, its water, or water with a dash of orange juice or apple juice, but that is generally only with lunch and I'll give her that same drink to finish with dinner. She doesn't really drink a lot of fluid.

The portions are the same kind of portions that I see my friends giving their normal-weight children, I have baby plates and cutlery, she really doesn't take that much and a lot of it ends up on the floor.

She's been seen recently by the HV and our GP and neither have concerns about her weight on the basis that she will probably level out when she starts walking, which she nearly is, and they (thankfully) believe me when I tell them what she eats and in what quantities.

With all that in mind though, am I being unreasonable to still feel concerned for her? How did she get to be so fat on what most babies would not get fat on? What does this mean for her in the future? Does it mean she will never be able to enjoy biscuits, chocolate, a glass of wine or 3, a Friday pizza or Saturday curry without piling on the pounds?

I'm sure other parents who dont know me think I'm overfeeding her or feeding her crap. I am on the chunky side, overweight but not obese, I am just under a stone overweight, I wear a size 14, 12 top mostly. Her father is BMI 24.9, so one cupcake away from being overweight on the charts (!) he wears a 32 waist trouser and looks fine, no pot belly or anything, thin face etc.

I dont really care what other people think of me really, to be honest, as I know what I'm doing, and I'm doing my best, but AIBU to be concerned? What would you do if you had a child with these stats? Would you do anything differently?

Perfect, even!

Haven't had time to read all, but just to reassure, my ds was 2 stone at his 10 month check!!! was a real bubble headed, monter thighed chubster. But he wasn't crawling then, in fact never crawled, just started walking a couple of weeks later, and the chub just melted away. Is now a very muscley, sturdy 5 yr old, with not a scrap of fat on him. It's the movement that counts, honest.

That's just what DS was like sexbomb.

Sounds like your DS is set for the front row as well!

Hi Perfect, my daughter was born in Singapore. Paed is present for the birth and you generally see them every week, then every month then trailing off.

I am no stranger to weight issues myself. Mine is the opposite, my 2 year old is teeny tiny (born slightly prem and 5lb) and I almost went mad with anxiety and exclusive breastfeeding and I felt an utter failure that I didn't have a chubby baby. Didn't help that all the Chinese aunties berated me for not feeding her properly. It took a long time to see she was born above the 9th centile and stayed on it. I haven't weighed her since 9 months and won't. People no longer gasp when I say how old she is. She is slender and is likely to stay that way. I am small (5.4 9 stone).

The paed said in most cases weight is pretty much set at two. I do stress that of course some children do change shape (diet and sports play their part) but I do defer to her experience of dealing with hundreds and hundreds of babies and toddlers.

Singapore has its obesity issues as well (although some days it seemed as if you're surrounded by slim people) and we had a discussion about weight at both ends of the spectrum.

Anyway, reporting what she said. Of course some people will say their experience differs and extrapolate.

Anyway OP, hope you're not too worried, I'd just keep an eye on it until she's walking.

Your paed's advice directly conflicted with advice I had in the UK from health professional, and rang truer in my mind.

However, that is not unusual with medical matters so not going to labour the point.

However, my DS did not start walking until 18mo so would not have had much time to work that flab off before 2nd birthday.

I guess it entirely depends on the individual child.

That's why it can be dangerous to generalise too much about DCs.

If weight is set at 2 I have a complaint to make. My mother had to put me in dungarees and dresses because no trousers would stay up on my ultra slim waist.

No longer a problem.

Please - I mean often set. Not ALWAYS set.

I think she was referring to studies such as this one reported here (can't find the orig and don't have login these days to Clinical Pediatrics) but there are others and I can dig em out.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8512102.stm

hahaha narky, me also.

I will add an important caveat when it comes to children and research into obesity, namely it is next to impossible to to perform randomised, double-blind trial for ethical reasons. So socio-economic factors may bear more weight.

My daughter weight is the other way. She weighs 9kg at 20 months. She has grown so little that we are using last year's winter clothes.

I think is best not to look at the charts. You need to look at your child. If you are worried then ask for a paediatric referal.
As a society I think we get too obcessed with weight and image.

If your hv was concerned she would be coming to visit you every month and you would find hard to get her off your back.

Hi, I wanted to add please do not worry if the professionals aren't. Theres so much about obesity nowadays if they had any concern they would say.

Your thread prompted me to check DS now 6.4 growth/ percentile charts.

He has been at 14 months he was 11.5kg and that was 75%. Up until then he had gone btween about 40 and 80%. Bear in mind at 14 months he had been walking 6 months!!His weight continued above the 75%tile up until 4 1/2 years and now is bang on 50% for height and weight - but looks like a twig.

I guess my ramblings above just show that it all evens out in the end, not all children will on the 50% obviously but they will end up proportionate depending on their build.

"As an aside why would you want her to wear jeans, babies in jeans are wrong, rigid, stiff and uncomfortable.

Baby clothes are best"

Classydiva, have you tried to find "baby clothes" in a size 2 years? They dont exist. Of the toddler clothing I get to choose from due to her size, I would like to include jeans because they are practical. Why are they practical? Because she crawls, doesn't she. So pastel coloured baby clothes look gopping by about midday. Tights get fuzzy and frayed at the knees. She is 14 months, not 14 weeks.

Hope that helps

bigfat, perhaps not tights, but soft trackie bottoms type trousers can be a softer alternative to jeans.

Though if she is comfortable in jeans then stick with them.

Only raise that because DS at age 9 still refuses to wear jeans as finds them too stiff. Always insists on soft trackies.

Though he is a sensitive soul fussy little perisher!

Do you tunble dry and use fabric softener PEOP? Most jeans now are a far cry from the heavy duty denim that was meant as workwear.

Tumble.

If you tunble that's up to you.

oh yes, narky, tried everything. He still won't wear them.

Bless his little cotton socks.

Except for school uniform, he looks like he is permanently wearing jammies!

Oh gosh you could be describing my dd op. She's always been off the charts but height and weight the same centile. She was about 26lbs at 6 months on breastmilk alone.

She's 3 and a half now, tall, solid but very muscular and strong. Looks healthy and completely in proportion. Once she was walking she settled down to the 99th centile and stayed there. She's fit and healthy and always on the go.

Going back a few posts to something pinkelephant said (& slightly off topic), I used to babysit a nicely slim 4yo girl who refused to drink any milk because someone had told her it would make her fat like her mum (I would say her mum was overweight bordering on obese)

My DS is obsessed with avoiding getting a fat tummy and he's not yet 4. It's nothing I've said to him but suspect he gets the 'healthy eating' message rammed home at pre-school. He barely eats :(

I have to say it does concern me where we are going with the whole "education" of children regarding food and what is considered healthy, not, and why, etc.

I hate the low fat movement that was so big in the 80's. I know it makes sense when fat has 9 calories a gram as opposed to 4/4.5 for protein and carbohydrate. Reduce your fat, reduce calories and lose weight. But not - fat seems to have such an important role in satiety that simply cutting it drastically leaves you hungry and unsatisfied, dry skin, can't poo, and everything that seems to go with it. Obviously there is good fat and bad fat too which is relevant but it really was a dirty word until recently.

Also sugar gets a beating. Sure sugar laden things are never a good idea for dental health or if you are trying to maintain or lose weight. Its pure energy. Its fast energy. It dips and troughs out on you. But they are teaching kids that its some kind of evil substance (not everywhere, granted, but some schools are) and I can't help but wonder what kind of effect it will have on the kids, and whether that will be good or bad.

Thanks for your further replies. I'm not so worried about it today, I had a cob-on yesterday after what DH said. You have all been very reassuring and I am convinced I need to hang in there and continue doing what I am doing. There's not a lot else I can do to be fair without actively dieting her - I'd like to think there's always a way of tweaking things so an actual "diet" is never necessary.

Bigfat - I bet this all resolves itself and in a few years you will be marvelling at the chubby photos of your DD as she races past with her new whippet thin figure.

Just keep it low key and concentrate on healthy eating/ exercise.

Never, ever make any references to her weight in her hearing.

I am rather worried about DD now as she quite often makes references to wanting ro lose weight. All seemingly due to her peers at school.

Even DS came home a few weeks ago and announced he wanted to lose weight as some little charmers at school had been calling him "chubby".

Neither of them have an ounce of fat on them now, by the way.

hi im also the mother of a 14 month old girl who weighs 28 pounds i understand your worries completely but my eldest daughter was a chubby baby and now at 11 she is exactly average weight and height as weighed at school , my daughter is also not walking yet but she is incredably active anyway best wishes

BFP - I'm a bit further down the road than you because the DC are now 15 and 11. DS was chunky, DD was chunky. Both have the family legs, broad shoulders and H fitting feet. Neither when they were small fitted into regular jeans. Looking back at pictures up to about 10 both look tubby.

At about 12 DS shot upwards (9 inches in less than two years)and the weight redistributed itself. He's a well built lad but looks very lean indeed and I now worry about him eating enough (he eats me out of house and home). He's about 5'10" and 11 stone(ish) now.

DD is quite well developed but in the last six months has really slimmed down - secondary school, much longer journey, etc., etc. and grown upwards a bit too. At the weekend we went shopping. She's about 5'2 and a perfect size 8-10. About 8st 4lb. A year ago she was shorter and about 8st 8lb. I also refused to have her weighed and measured in Y6 because I didn't want her labelled obese.

DH and I are fairly solid (but not fat) and the DC just take after us. It has surprised me how they have elongated and I worried terribly about them when they were smaller, especially when clothes tended to so tight on them.

Based on my DD, the proportion thing is key to why your doctor doesn't seem worried. DD was almost 10lb when born (bit of a surprise after 7.5lb son and hubby and I being quite small people). I was told by several medical people that it was absolutely fine that she was riding the very top of the weight chart, because her height was on the same line.

She's 6, almost 7 now. She's still huge compared to her classmates, but has really shed the toddler tum in the last couple of years. She looks completely in proportion and although 'heavy' from a scales' point of view, she's not what anyone would call 'fat'.

DS was a classic cherub baby/toddler (late walker), and is now a racing snake (great expression!) 10 yr old. He may bulk out later once he hits puberty; they really do grow in funny stop-start patterns.

"Misguided twaddle. Why do they need to be fat?
OP don't worry too much but once she's walking if she doesn't slim down have a rethink."

I was indeed being humorous (aside: Thank you, Kenobi).

I've always been happy for my babies to be a bit fat as they lose so quickly when they are ill.