To hate some of words regularly used on Mumsnet?

[ShanahansRevenge]

I get relly annoyed by people bandying things like "judgey" and "Toxic" around as if they were actual conditions!

Judgey just annoys me because it's kind of coy and littl girly...what's wrng with saying "Judgemental"??

And "Toxic"...

You know...like "Is my Mum Toxic because she has never sent me a christmas card?"

I think it's bollocks...certain words have been adopted and shaped on here for the use and comfort of the community and in the case of "toxic" it's a bit dangerous in my opinion.

People seem to want a diagnosis for other people's behaviour...so they grab words and plonk them onto other people....then in their own minds they can say "Yes...my Mum/Sis/Mil is a pain and makes me angry...but it's because she's toxic...it must be so as everyone on MN says so"

I just saw someone on a thread comment that someone elses husband was being "Passive agressive" because he had plonked a cereal box on her head as a joke. This is another thing people on here are always bandying about.

So AIBU to think there are some people who just look for the bad in others? And who really seem to thrive on labels?

YANBU to hate all sorts of things people say on MN but that doesn't mean we/they will stop.

Feel free to hate whatever you like, really, it doesn't mean anything very much. Word onna screen and all that.

SHowy that was beautiful. A work of art.

Narcissistic. I am so damn tired of reading that word. And quite frequently misused, as well.

Stop saying that word.

I don't have a problem with any words except when posters + RL people casually use phrases borrowed from mental health conditions. Using these words casually + without diagnosis labels the person concerned + belittles the mental health condition itself. Having a mental illness is scary + stigmatizing even now (as i sadly know :( ) so it PMR0 to hear people saying 'X is a bit OCDish' + other crap. That's my rant over - end of :).

I hate the way everyone assumes everything originated on MN. None of the things mentioned in this thread did.

There's a whole wide Internet out there and some of you should explore it. You might actually learn something.

whole heartedly agree with that one Marguerite, i've never seen that word so much in print as it is here.

The problem with "passive agressive personality disorder" in my view is,just how does one define it? Even the medics couldn't agree when the "syndrome" was first "labelled"! There are muliple definitions if one researches and none of them quite agree with any other. It seems to me that, if defined too strictly, almost no-one has it, and if defined too loosely, almost everyone does!

everyone who treats you badly has something called npd or something. Reading between the lines, this means they're a great big sack of shit.

And 'emotional affair'. Don't quite get that one. Suspect it is a self-protection thing. He didn't screw her, it was an emotional affair.

And I sit there and think, nah, he fucked her. He's just convinced you he didn't, y'poor sod.

Is that what emotional affair means? I always thought it somehow worse than a physical affair ie that it's not just sex or a one night stand, it's an emotional investment. The physical bit stops when it stops but when your dp/dh/dw has fallen in love with another person, it's just so much more difficult to recover from. You can't switch off feelings.

I didn't know what passive agressive meant until I read about it a lot on MN. When I Wiki'd it there was a photo of me . DH prefers the term 'mardy arse' and I'm alarmed that in MN world it is BAD THING.

I am always a bit surprised at how people can diagnose mental health/personlity disorders from a very small amount of information.

An emotional affair is everything except the shagging isn't it?

Yus. Agree but I think you might be in trouble

On a more trivial note I also dislike 'fab' and 'fabby' makes me want to kill.

Hate judgey. Never understood why othwise articulate people use it.

Also dislike 'DD, DH, DPIL' et al. Horribly twee.

I am used to both now, but it still makes me wonder how people can moan about use of the word 'hun' and then write one of the 'D' acronyms. I guess every website has to have it's little oddities.

Argh. Its.

Oh and 'otherwise'. I give up. IPad, why do you hate me?

Passive aggression isn't sulky/mardy is it?

ie

Aggressive: You are a twat

Sulky: I just don't like living in a house where I'm the only one doing everything and everybody else is a twat

Passive/aggressive: You remind me of my schoolfriend Shirley. Shirley was a twat.

Interesting thread.

I posted about I problem I was having with a loved one (I had namechanged), and though none of these words were used, it did help me to have other people to diagnose, or label, if you like, his behaviour. It made me feel that I wasn't BU to feel as I did, and it helped me move on. So maybe these labels are there for a reason.

I think I can be a little passive aggressive.
For example, I said to my DH last night, "I'm saying this to help you" when what I actually meant was "I'm saying this because you're getting on my tits." Patronising and not nice.

I hate the way so many people on here think almost every act is passive aggressive-get over it.

You see I don't think that's passive aggressive either. It's just patronising. Try for 'fine, if you don't want to be helped, I have better things to do with my time'. That's a bit closer. You need to think more like my mother if that helps.

This is the problem though, we all disagree wildly so it's used all the time and none of us agree on what it means.

NordicPrincess, have you considered becoming a counsellor or life coach. Because 'get over it' is just inspired.

And while we-re at it, could someone please explain to a relative novice what BESH, FESH and PESH actually signify?

But NordicPrincess, there are different types of behaviour, and if you recognize them, you're better equipped to deal with them next time imo.

YANBU i was called passive/agressive the other day. i think it is just a way when another op does not agree with you they have to find something bad to say about you anyway .I am really cheesed off with sections of Mumsnet just now

The besh/fesh/pesh lot are just them. They're not common acronyms. They're either pregnant or trying or have babies I think and it means something to them. Like the IPOATs. They spend a lot of time on the same threads and invent terms for things and themselves. It's nice. They're bonding.

I think the passive aggressive thing is bandied about more on forums (not just mn) because it's easy to come across that way (intentionally or otherwise) when it's just words on a screen.

If toxic is good enough for Britney, it's good enough for Mumsnet!!