To think people should not be checking their BlackBerry's all night, at the table, when you have invited them for dinner?

[strandedatseasonsgreetings]

We had some good friends - a couple - over for dinner last night. I cooked up a storm, made a curry and a side dish, we had some wine, it was all lovely. Except the male half of the couple kept reading messages on his Blackberry all night.

Now he has a very senior job in a large company so I assumed it was work and thought nothing of it. My dh also had his Blackberry on the table as he is always on call. But he had it there for important calls only.

However, towards the end of the night, Mr I'm Very Important confessed he had been checking messages about the (American) football results all night. I was fuming (inside - I didn't say anything except to take the piss a bit).

That's rude isn't it? They are really good friends of ours but not sure I would invite them again.

I would be very [hm] if given house rules on manners when I arrived at a house as a guest!

Unspeakably rude. If some major deal was about to go belly up and he desperately needed to read/send the odd message then that might just about be an excuse but FOOTBALL RESULTS?? If you do get asked to theirs or ask them again to yours, mention in the conversation that you hope you will have his attention tonight and not be dinged for something as rubbish as sport results. He should be ashamed - arrogant git.

I think a light way of dealing with this thing in future is to say "oh are you on call?" after the second checking of phone. If they say yes then is same as your DH but if no then they need to look embarassed or be told "well I think it can be put away for now eh?".
Would sort of diffuse it without having a (bit arsy sounding imho) no phones at the table rule before things even started.

It is for reasons like this I do not have a mobile phone. If I am eating my dinner, or out or not able to conveniently answer the phone I won't. I dislike being contactable

sorry posted before ready on account of my ds biting me while feeding!

I was going to say I dislike being contactable at every single minute of the day.

I went on a staff dinner today .. only four of us because it's a small business (my second day job).

I can only remember diaries and mobiles.

Merry Christmas!

My OH is always on his iphone - drives me nuts esp as we only get weekends together

Rude rude rude. I cannot stand the "stare-at-your-crotch" culture, it's slowly killing the basic principles of human interaction. Personally, I would have made it clear that unless it was an emergency, he should turn off his phone or at least put it away. YANBU.

My ex did this all the time, no matter who we were with.

Just one of the many reasons he's now my ex

Just got in from an aerobics class where someone was checking her mobile during the 'water' break. I just do not understand why everyone has to be contactable every minute of the day (agree with Grizzly) - I do have a mobile but often forget to switch it on for days on end . The last three school assemblies I attended were interupted by mobiles - how crass.

I suggest at the beginning of the meal you declare a "phone amnesty" and everyone has to put away their phones. Unfortunately your DH may have set a precedent by having one on the table!

We were out for dinner the other night in a small dining room of a kookie restaurant. Food is not cheap, and amusingly of the other 5 tables surrounding us, every single person was playing with their phones at dinner, despite it being in a non-signal area for mobile phones. It's almost like a pavlovian response.

No mobiles at the table! If in an emergency situation, then you explain why at the beginning of the meal and truly only look at it when it rings - no other excuses!

I think I've got so used to be them being everywhere (the news presenter on the evening news programme here has his on the desk in front of him - in case he gets an important call that he can't not take in the middle of reading the news perhaps? ) that I didn't even think it was wrong that he had it on the table.

It was only when I found out it was football results that he was reading that I got cross.

Those of you who only have phones for emergencies and keep them switched off. Does that not defeat the purpose? How does someone contact you in an emergency if it is switched off? Or do you turn it on only when you leave the house???

HowstheSerenity - I take the view that a real emergency is very, very unlikely therefore I do not switch my phone on (if I remember to take it with me ) unless there is a real need - ie: DH driving in the snow for example (but then realistically what could I do to practically help?). My DS is at school and I trust the school to deal with an emergency. Most parents I know seem to leave their phones on just so that they can be a taxi service for their kids. In normal daylight hours most teenagers (not all I know) should be able to get a bus/walk/use their initiative - that does not constitute an 'emergency' in my view. I think we are bringing up a generation of young people who don't know how to look after themselves. (SN excepted of course).

I grew up long before mobile phones were the norm and we coped perfectly well without them.

Rag - oh how true you are. I know so many teenagers that are unable to even buy food at the shops!

I was curious about the phone though. I am out and about a lot so keep mine on in case the school calls etc becuase I know when I turn it off all the kids will end up with cholera or something.

The youngest DC is in a class of 27. There are only 3 children including her who have jobs to do in the house

I was at a dance concert last night. The childen have worked hard all year to put on the concert.

All around the darkened room was the flash of mobile phones. All night.

They can't even attend their own childrens' concert without their security blanket.

"Those of you who only have phones for emergencies and keep them switched off. Does that not defeat the purpose? How does someone contact you in an emergency if it is switched off? Or do you turn it on only when you leave the house???"

Well, of course. Everyone I know who needs to contact me would ring me on my landline at home first, then if no reply try my mobile. The school has a policy of ringing landlines first because it is cheaper, and only ringing mobiles if they can't get through on a landline. Nearly all the houses round here are owned and so everyone has a landline.

I only switch my phone on when I leave the house. Like Ragwort I grew up without mobile phones and we managed perfectly well without them, and like Ragwort and Grizzly I don't feel the need to be contactable at all times.

Oh to not be contactable at all times... the only time my BlackBerry gets switched off is when I'm on holiday, and the odd weekend.

The nature of my job is such that I have clients and journalists who often need to contact me and get a response quickly, during any given (usually waking) hour. So I have often been that girl checking my phone during the water break of an exercise class if I have a client who is mid media-crisis or similar. It's either that or not go to the class at all. Often, a response can wait 20 minutes or so, but we live in a world where clients often expect an instant response, and if I'm not as responsive as they would like they will take their business elsewhere.

And what is this landline of which you speak? Haven't had one for years as it's just a recipe for unwanted sales calls, even with TPS.

I also wouldn't be happy not to be contactable at all times as DD is with a nanny while I'm working, and at 30wks PG I like to know I can contact DH easily too. Neither of us are office-based and are often travelling around so don't have a work landline either and mobile is essential.

I don't let my children have their phones at the table. It's downright rude. Adults should know better

Switch the ruddy things off for normal social intercourse ( is that phrase allowed) am I in trouble?

It's very rude. I would apply the crossword rule - would it be rude to start doing a crossword in whatever situation? If so then put the bloody phone away!

I think it is rude. I have a BB for work. If I am out for dinner and know I will have to check/reply to messages I always say and apoloogise in advance.

Men and their bloody sports. We were invited around to my mum and dad's for dinner last night, but before I could accept, my dp had to phone my dad to make sure he/they would definitely be able to watch the football on the big TV in the lounge. Otherwise he wouldn't have gone he'd have stayed at home. So at least this guy came and was only checking his phone rather than staying at home and watching it! I still think it is very rude though IMO.

I suppose you could say "is my serving you food interfering with something more important?"

I'm very anti phone calls and texting at the table, (or in company generally) but I must admit my phone rings so rarely that when it does, I jump out of my skin and assume it must be a life-or-death matter. So I would probably answer it with gusto, but out of panic/over-excitement rather than rudeness.

Actually, I wouldn't answer it exactly, because it would be at the bottom of my mahoosive chaotic handbag, under 5 dirty tissues and a dog poo bag and a Dime Bar wrapper, but I would flail around for a minute or two, then cut you off, then try to phone you back.