To think people should not be checking their BlackBerry's all night, at the table, when you have invited them for dinner?

[strandedatseasonsgreetings]

We had some good friends - a couple - over for dinner last night. I cooked up a storm, made a curry and a side dish, we had some wine, it was all lovely. Except the male half of the couple kept reading messages on his Blackberry all night.

Now he has a very senior job in a large company so I assumed it was work and thought nothing of it. My dh also had his Blackberry on the table as he is always on call. But he had it there for important calls only.

However, towards the end of the night, Mr I'm Very Important confessed he had been checking messages about the (American) football results all night. I was fuming (inside - I didn't say anything except to take the piss a bit).

That's rude isn't it? They are really good friends of ours but not sure I would invite them again.

As you say, you know plenty of other Jamiacans who don't behave like this, so why jump to the conclusion?

Perhaps he was getting messages from his dealer about ganja?

YANBU, it's very bad manners.

Just plain rude of guest and DH. If someone is genuinely on call they can explain at outset of the evening and leave phone in convenient place so it could be heard if the genuine call came in. I'm with BunnyLebowski although I haven't terminated my friendship. One of my friends sends/receives texts all the time; she saw the disparing scowl on my face and said that at least she'd got a life! I have only let her off cos she's been going thru a divorce. Love the 'more wine?' text. Dont get why an iphone would be any more polite? Dont get the cultural comment on being Jamaican either - its not polite, thats it.
We are too attached to these devices - me included - but we need to enjoy the here and now and concentrate on who we're with not someone/something/somewhee else

Some people seem to need their phone nearby as a sort of crutch. Some celebs always seem to have a mobile in their hand when they're just walking along. FFS. Most things can wait.

MIL does this. Think she thinks she's being very hip or something.

They're all here on Christmas Day. She will probably be texting SIL throughout the meal. What would you say?

Yes he was rude to be checking bloody football results. . .ignorant and bad manners.
.. Its ok if you are checking ur phone to see if the nanny/babysitter or whatever has texted or called about the kids. . .but not the darn football.. . .cheeky devil.

New to Mumsnet and feel VERY stupid, but what does Yanbu stand for????

Do you think its rude to do this in your own house? DP has his iphone with him at all times and is often checking cricket scores/checking emails/playing games at the dinner table.

I hate it and think its rude, and doesn't set a very good example to the kids but he doesn't seem to think its a problem.

YANBU (You are not being unreasonable, mummy )

Rude. Next time get your DH to say, 'I realised it was a bit rude of me to keep my Blackberry on the table, we can always check the results after dinner'.

Very rude, and yes I would include in your own house. My oh knows there is no reading or texting at the table and the children will soon find out too (only 3 and 0!).

It's not a Jamaican cultural thing at all - it's just a "very fucking rude & please don't ever invite me to dinner again" thing (group BBQ maybe, sit down at the table dinner - now way)

YANBU. If he comes round again say with a smile you've decided it's going to be a blackberry-free zone.

YANBU
Very, very rude. Unfortunately DP does the same thing (checks football results) so I am banning his blackberry from dinner tables. I couldn't really muster up much sympathy when the t'internet on it was broken and he couldn't go on it to look at fecking lequipe (stupid French sports newspaper/website).

YANBU, I found myself morphing into such a character and decided to get rid of my facebook account and blackberry. They can be rather addictive

shoppingday is right - keep it light hearted but a phone free zone at the table is perfectly reasonable
iwouldgoouttonight - try it, none of us are perfect but if we're attached to phones etc then we're not with the family, might as well forget conversation etc; TBH though we often have the tv when its just us at home on so we really aren't perfect!

My DH used to do this too!! Until I actually walked out of a restaurant once! Went all the way home by myself. Think it took him a while to realize something's amiss!!! Had huge fight, but message sunk in!! Now he is VERY considerate.

OP, I just read your 'Jamaican, cultural' comment and am baffled by it. WTF has being Jamaican got to do with being on a blackberry. Are you implying his lack of manners is because he is Jamaican? Seriously pissed off by that comment, it is dumb

I can't stand this.
I have several friends who feel the need to look at their phones every few minutes.
Why?
It didn't make a noise, nor get up and perform a tap dance so why are you looking at it?

Either have coffee with me, or fuck off and look at your phone.

One of my friends answers her phone in company and then chats too which I hate. Either ignore or answer and say you'll call back.

Blackberry checking is an addiction, innit ?

Much like MN... (I am dooooomed). But so far I have never checked 'threads I'm on' during any dinner party .

YANBU.

TBH, I used to do that sort of thing, always checking texts and e mails God knows why, it was a company/business phone and i do need to be in contact about 12 hours a day but like your guest i took it to stupid lengths. Now at 7pm the company phone is switched off until 7 am and is only on Saturday morning.

A habit worth breaking

"but looking at sports results/checking facebook whatever is tantamount to saying "You are not interesting enough to occupy my full attention".

I totally agree. I have already posted about this on another thread, but I really, really don't get why so many people are so self important that they feel they have to be contactable at all times.

I understand about doctors being on call or babysitters being able to get hold of you or other similar reasons, but surely when someone has invited you out and cooked a lovely meal it is because they want your company. That includes being able to have an uninterrupted two way conversation. I have a friend who is always texting and it irritates the hell out of me. I don't think she realises how rude it is.

Incidentally I'm not convinced that there are that many jobs that require people to be on call all the time (emergency services excepted of course).

I annoy my friends by not being contactable at all, but as I say to them, sometimes I don't want to chat, so I don't answer the phone.
They know if it's urgent, to call back twice and I'll answer.

I hate phone obsession, I think it's the height of rudeness.

Really LeQueen, is she pissed off with everyone offering her Ferrero Rocher yet?