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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to ever buy a particular make of car because....

35 replies

TheBigZing · 05/12/2010 01:31

... my lovely mum was killed in an accident in one.

I don't blame the car, and I know it's not necessarily logical, I just don't ever want to own one.

AIBU?

OP posts:
EduStudent · 05/12/2010 01:43

I think you're allowed to be unreasonable in a situation like this Sad

MilkNoSugarPlease · 05/12/2010 01:45

Yanbu :(

MrManager · 05/12/2010 01:48

Yes, you are being unreasonable and irrational. But I think you are allowed to be in the circumstances.

Original poster
TheBigZing · 05/12/2010 01:55

Thanks. I'm not usually irrational but on this issue I am. Thank you for telling me it's ok.

OP posts:
PotPourri · 05/12/2010 01:58

yanbu.

onmyfeet · 05/12/2010 09:56

Yanbu.

I am so sorry for your loss.

overmydeadbody · 05/12/2010 09:57

YANBU

BeerTricksPotter · 05/12/2010 10:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleMissHoHoHoFit · 05/12/2010 10:04

YANBU, my deepest sympathies.

Numberfour · 05/12/2010 10:04

YANBU Sad

AuntiePickleBottom · 05/12/2010 10:55

yanbu, i am sorry for the loss of your mum.

there are loads of diffrent cars, get one that will make you feel good

CrazyChristmasLady · 05/12/2010 11:16

YANBU!! How awful for you.

Everytime you got in/looked at your car, you would think of that awful time. Sad

MrManager Hmm. Stupid response.

Riddo · 05/12/2010 11:45

YANBU - I feel sick every time I see the type of car which killed my first DH. I would never want to own or drive one.

I am sorry for your loss.

MrManager · 05/12/2010 12:36

Why was it a stupid response CrazyChristmasLady? Even the OP agreed.

CrazyChristmasLady · 05/12/2010 20:01

I actually read the OPs response to your comment as slightly sarcastic

"Thank you for telling me it's ok"

not agreeing with your unhelpful response. Of course the OP is NBU and I did find your response stupid.

MrManager · 05/12/2010 20:29

If it's sarcasm, it's very subtle. I think she'd have used the hmm face if that was the case. In her OP she says she knows she's not being logical, so I don't think it's a huge leap for her to acknowledge that it is irrational as well as illogical. I also say that she is allowed to be, but Edustudent said that as well and you didn't get all prissy with her.

Original poster
TheBigZing · 05/12/2010 22:43

MrManager there was no sarcasm intended in my response, which was intended for all the people who had posted up to that point, not just you.

However, I would be interested to know if you are indeed a man (or if your name is a bluff!) because my whole reason for starting this thread was my DH's persistence in suggesting we buy one of these cars every time we discuss buying a car. Is it a 'man thing' that they can so easily disattach bad associations like this?

For ten years (since the accident) I have been telling him I never want to own one, yet he still does it. Last night he said "it's just a car". I walked out of the room without a word. This morning he apologised and said he "gets it now" but I bet in another couple of years he will try it on again.

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 05/12/2010 22:46

Is it a particular model, or, as you say, an entire manufacturer? Just in the hope that, if it's the former, they'll finally stop making it and your DH can stop being so utterly insensitive. Angry

FFS, there are loads of cars to choose from, loads of manufacturers; why does he harp on about one, when he knows how you feel?

BeerTricksPotter · 05/12/2010 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SalFresco · 05/12/2010 22:53

YANBU.

THere are loads of cars, I've had shitloads and they are much of a muchness. No reason to insist on a particular one. Your DH is being a bit of a twat.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and your feelings are completely understandable.

Original poster
TheBigZing · 05/12/2010 23:05

OldLady, it's just one model. I would happily have other models by the same manufacturer.

OP posts:
MrManager · 05/12/2010 23:06

TheBigZing I am male, yes. I don't think it is a male thing, just a rational thing.

Honestly, I think that it is rather unreasonable that you have a blanket ban on an entire make of cars because your mother was killed in one a decade ago. A specific model I could understand, but this

It is just a car. Having bad associations with the location, or the model, I get. But this is not normal, it just seems so arbitrary.

If you're really uncomfortable with it, and he obviously knows this, then he would be unreasonable to get one just to upset you. But if he's researched it or he's really wanted one for a while then he is not unreasonable for asking for one.

MrManager · 05/12/2010 23:08

Oh, sorry, I thought you were talking about an entire brand, e.g. all Ford cars were off-limits. Now I feel dumb for writing that all out.

SalFresco · 05/12/2010 23:08

Sorry, but he is unreasonable asking for one. What could it possibly do that other cars don't?

Original poster
TheBigZing · 05/12/2010 23:08

Riddo - many thanks for sharing your exact same feeling. It's shit isn't it, to be constantly reminded of that horrific image just by seeing a car? So sorry about your first DH.

OP posts: