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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want to ever buy a particular make of car because....

35 replies

TheBigZing · 05/12/2010 01:31

... my lovely mum was killed in an accident in one.

I don't blame the car, and I know it's not necessarily logical, I just don't ever want to own one.

AIBU?

OP posts:
SalFresco · 05/12/2010 23:09

Even if it was all Fords, OP's DH would still be BU.

perfumeditsawonderfullife · 05/12/2010 23:10

Op your dh is being very heartless, although probably not deliberately.

So sorry for your loss. It is bad enough losing your mum, but through a tragic accident is somehow worse, the suddeness.

I wouldn't blame you if you never set foot in a car again.

TheBigZing · 05/12/2010 23:11

Not your fault MrManager, it was a badly worded title. It was late and I was upset.

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 05/12/2010 23:15

Irrational fears are just that - irrational.

They are only a problem if they imapct on your life.

It is very easy to avoid driving a particular car and so your DH is being unreasonable in wanting something that so obviously causes you upset.

MollieO · 05/12/2010 23:18

I would choose one make over another. My db was involved in a head on collision (not his fault) and the police said that the car probably saved his life.

FunkySnowSkeleton · 05/12/2010 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoopyLoopsOfSparklyFairyLights · 05/12/2010 23:25

No, of course that is a perfectly valid feeling, and understandable to most. He should respect that and sympathise.

Have you properly explained?

SalFresco · 05/12/2010 23:26

How weird - my grandad had a real thing about green, and green cars, and I would never have one for that reason. As I say, plenty of other cars to choose from.

MeowyChristmasEveryone · 05/12/2010 23:45

If you had an equally strong dislike of spiders or snakes (although in those cases we call them phobias which I know this isn't), then your issues would - or certainly should - be respected. Why would this incidence be any different?!

One theory though, does your DH think he's helping you overcome an issue with this particular model of car, and that is why he is repeatedly pushing it. Like "oh, if TheBigZing could only get beyond her issues insert appropriate model, then she may well find grieving for her mum easier" or does he just really like that car?

For the record, I probably wouldn't do it either, and this is from someone who, about a year ago, wanted to spend a thousand quid (that we don't really have. Not broke, but not loaded, IYKWIM) on a model of car that was my mum's last in the model year and colour. When she bought her's in Sept 1996, Mum said there were only 6 being made in that colour that year. DH had to almost tie me down to stop me buying it, and although I was sad at the time, I knew it was a poor choice.

You are not being unreasonable, and if your DH does keep suggesting it for reasons of love, you have to tell him to stop. Grieving can't be quickened by anything - anyone who's ever grieved knows that.

Sorry if any of this seems incoherent - bedtime now.

Riddo · 06/12/2010 17:33

Thank you, thebigzing, it was 21 years ago but I still feel sick when I see one.

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