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Original poster

I am so angry!

523 replies

KateEllis · 01/12/2010 16:36

At the end of September my DD (age 7) was cast as Cinderella in the school panto. The school takes these things VERY seriously so they have had lots of after school sessions etc. I was very pleased for my daughter because she was so excited (please note I did not care about her having a lead role, I just want her to be happy). She has had loads of lines to learn but has been brilliant and learnt them all, on top of learning two solo songs and 4 other songs and attended every after school rehersal. I had also made one of her costumes and bought another. The panto was due to be next friday, then the falling monday and tuesday.

However today this happened. I was waiting in the yard to collect her and her younger sister, when she came out of school I could see it looked like she was on the verge of tears, I asked her what was wrong and she said 'I'm not Cinderella anymore'.
At first my initial thought was, as she was ill yesterday mybe somebody covered for her and she was a bit confused. I asked this but she insisted the part had been given to another little girl.
Her teacher was in the yard so I went over to speak to her.
I just said dd is a bit upset because she thinks she is no longer playing cinderella.
Her teacher said "That's right she isn't"
I asked why and she said
"Well she was off yesterday, and I expect people who are given big parts to show a commitment. It is also to show her that good attendance is a must"
Yesterday was the first day my daughter has had off this year!!!!!!
She also said she has given another girl the part and now this little girl has to learn everything by next friday which just seems impossible for a 7 yo, and as I said the school will expect this girl to learn all the lines as they take drama productions extremely seriously.

My daughter is so upset and I am so angry, up until today her teacher and others have been coming up to me in the yard and saying how great she is doing now they have completely devastated her after all the effort she has put in. She now has no part at all, as its a whole school production all parts are taken up.

I am so angry Angry and upset for my poor daughter who hasn't stopped crying Sad

OP posts:
Animation · 02/12/2010 20:26

Please name and shame them next term when your daughter is out of there.Xmas Grin

fraggletits · 02/12/2010 20:29

Good for You!!

Watch for any recriminations against your DD though - I know in this day and age you would hope not, but they sound like a right bunch of bitter a**holes.

Good luck Xmas Smile

JoBo69 · 02/12/2010 20:30

You are an inspirational Mum!!!!

I'm a teacher and have NEVER heard of such behaviour (in every aspect of this appalling tale)

Well done and hurrah for parent-power!!!

{fsmile]

JoBo69 · 02/12/2010 20:30

... meant Xmas Smile

mathanxiety · 02/12/2010 20:31

WOW.

Hats off to you and your DH. Glad your DD will go elsewhere when you find a place for her.

Get on the phone right away to the governors. Have the local media on standby.

I think this thread should stand as a memo to file for you, but maybe write one more formally asap just to have the whole thing to hand if your version of events is ever questioned.

ChippingIn · 02/12/2010 20:31

Brilliantly handled both of you!!

I am very impressed!!

I would still make it very well known what the school is like... I think an article in the paper with Cinders in her costume and a 'what might have happened if I didn't have the best parents' type article the week following the play would be just about right.

Also follow up their lack of sickness policy....

Snotty snotty jumped up cows!!

Oblomov · 02/12/2010 20:32

KateEllis, have followed this from the start.
I am so pleased your got your dd her part part. You sound like an absolute STAR. So calm, firm, non-negotiating. Honestly you are a rolemodel to us all.
But i was very saddened to here the bit about you saying dd wouldn't be coming back in the new year. I know you have every justification for this, but are you absolutley sure ?
Do you have somewhere else in mind ? Its just that I wouldn't want you to regret this statement you made. Or to back down , making you seem weak to the school. I'm all for it, but are you sure ?

Rhinestone · 02/12/2010 20:33

Yay! Well done, great news.

But don't just write to the governors re why you're withdrawing your DD from the school - if it's registered as a charity then there will be a board of trustees. Write to them as well to explain why the suddem change in their bottom line. I imagine they may wish to hold someone accountable!

SpeedyGonzalez · 02/12/2010 20:34

KateEllis, you have done a marvellous job. Your DD will learn so much from you about self-respect, standing up for oneself, fighting one's corner...the list goes on.

A jolly good job well done.

fedupofnamechanging · 02/12/2010 20:35

Not read whole thread, so apologies if I repeat what someone else has said, but these teachers are bullies and you owe it to all the children at that school, to make a very public, formal complaint. These teachers are in a position of authority and have to be removed from positions of power, which they are abusing.

As a parent I would want to know if a school I was sending my DC to employed such nasty bitches.

Well done on how you handled them today. I echo the poster who said that this may not be over, when the other parents get the news about their DD.

Tikkabillajive · 02/12/2010 20:37

Hooray! Fantastic!! Well done! You were amazingly strong and really did your daughter proud - I'm sure she will always remember you fighting her case like that.

I hope she has a wonderful time being Cinderella, and that you really enjoy watching her. Smile

I'm so appalled to think that a school can behave like this - good luck in finding a new one for next term.

savoycabbage · 02/12/2010 20:39

You have handled this magnificently!

mumoy · 02/12/2010 20:41

Well done KateEllis only saw this post today and have been rivetted!!!!Glad to see u stood up for your DD and sanity finally prevailed, your DD should be proud Grin.

TandB · 02/12/2010 20:42

You rule!
But I agree with those who have said to be prepared for a "change of heart" tomorrow when they have had time to muster their resources and come up with a better excuse for their actions.
Get that letter into the governors and trustees asap.

SparkleSoiree · 02/12/2010 20:44

Kate Ellis - well done to you and your DH!

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 02/12/2010 20:45

great news!! been thinking about this all evening!! go get em, letters ahoy!!

mumbar · 02/12/2010 20:45

Well Done you Xmas Grin. Agree that you did very well I think I'd have crumbled at the compromise. Have a fab xmas and best wished for your DD in the new year and her new school.

InPraiseOfBacchus · 02/12/2010 20:47

My heart actually leapt at this! Oh, well done! (Maybe go to the papers anyway?) I hope she has a wonderful time x

SlightlyJaded · 02/12/2010 20:51

As Chezza Cole would say, "you guys smashed it, well done!"

Seriously brilliant, supportive parenting by Mr and Mrs KE and especially for not accepting a compromise.

Do be prepared for further developments but hope for none.

Tell your DD to 'break a leg' from all of us

AllOverIt · 02/12/2010 20:53

Hooray! Xmas Smile

bubbleymummy · 02/12/2010 20:53

Yay! That's brilliant news. I'm so glad that your daughter got her part back. Well done you! :)

GeneHuntsMistress · 02/12/2010 20:56

Kate Ellis I love you will you marry me Grin

Errmmmm · 02/12/2010 20:58

Goodness. This is unbelievable!

savoycabbage · 02/12/2010 20:58

They sound like right gits.

My Mam went to a meeting where they didn't put out a chair for her,to make her feen inferior I suppose, so she marched up to the big cheese's enormous leather chair and sat in that and when he started spluttering about that she said

'surely we aren't here to talk about chairs'

thefirstMrsDeVere · 02/12/2010 21:00

Well done!

A lot of us have children with medical and special needs which necessitate lots of appointments during school time.

I find these blanket 100% rules descriminatory and unfair. They have been debated several times on MNS and I am suprised at the amount of support you have got TBH.

Attendance is really important and my other children almost always achieved the required 100% but its impossible for my DS2

Of course you had to keep your DD of if she was sick. What a horrible thing to do to her and the other child who will now have to be disappointed. You are right - that is the school's problem not yours.

Hope she has a lovely time.