open bottle of spirit at a gathering - fair game?

[PavlovtheCat]

DH and I are having a dispute.

DS was one years old on sunday. We had some people around to celebrate, people with children, in the afternoon, on sunday 2:30pm onwards, tea and cake.

We brought some little stubby beers so as to have a toast - 20 beers, 12 adults, some driving, some non-drinkers, DH had none of them, I had one, happy for people to help themselves.

DH and I had one manhattan to have our own toast, before most of the people arrived, say around 3pm. This involved a shot of bourbon which was only opened for that purpose, and it was left, lid on, on the kitchen side. This was not offered, apart from to one close person.

About 2 hours later, i went into the kitchen to find one of the known drinkers (was there with his wife and newborn, so had no 'responsibility' so to speak) with a large glass of bourbon and ice. so when he was out of the room i moved it so as not to encourage further consumption from him/others.

DH said i had no place being prickly about it, it was an open bottle of booze on the side, fair game for takers. my view is this was a 1 year old baby's birthday party, in the afternoon, not a cocktail party where everyone was getting drunk, there was no open invitation to help yourselves, only beer was offered, along with tea/coffee as per invitation, and just because we had alcohol in the kitchen does not make it fair game.

Am I or is he being unreasonable in our views?

You actually hid the bottle knowing the man was having a glass?

And us Scots get called mean.

perfumed i didnt say anything to him. He did not know i was 'precious'. And no-one has to eat my pastries! But certainly all 24 of the scones, all the clotted cream and all the jam disappeared pretty quickly so I am sure it was not too much of a hardship for them! And it was not a gathering to toast the birthday. We did that with the individuals/several people as we stood talking to them, no big announcement (this is our second after all!), but beer to toast, as it was going to be 'afternoon tea' not 'afternoon pissup'.

The party was, mainly for our friends children to all get together, we are for the most part a very close knit circle of friends with little family, so it is similar to a family event.

Blimey, what an old misery you are.

mrsted well, actually, yes, this is our christmas stash...

Yanbu.
I think this guest was rude, greedy, presumptuous & total lacks the nous to understand what kind of social event this was.
I'd never,ever help myself to a bottle that obviously wasn't meant for everyone to batter into.

But, maybe I'm a rude, tight inhospitable host!

So is the problem that you don't approve of your guest drinking bourbon in the middle of the afternoon at a 1st birthday party?

Or are you just exceptionally tight?

You really cannot throw a party for a 1 year old and expect others to endure it without booze.

Excellent re the builders. I have a shite memory - the fact I remember all that demonstrates how awful it must have been at the time.

You moved the bottle, trust me, he will know you were boing precious If he went looking for a top up that is.

Shall i consider myself reprimanded? I am sure he and DH will make up for the selfish tight moo over christmas with it

Fair game IMHO

you count the scones? did you blacklist anyone who took two?

he is a friend who is like family to dh...not his whiskey well i guess half of it is.

ninah i made the scones, so I know how many there were!

I think you're not totally unreasonable to resent this guest somewhat. It's not the worst of crimes though, and he did have some grounds for thinking he could help himself. You might want to watch his intake next time you see him near a bottle.

ah that's more like it

yeah I know you made them! they sound fab with a bourbon chaser

Don't think for a moment that I shall tell DH you all sided with him. It will ruin the image he has of MN.

I'm sure he didn't help himself thinking 'i'll just take some of this expensive treat drink, hehe' but he would have thought 'don't fancy beer, oh whisky here we go' and that was literally it.

It would be rude if his intention was to take it knowing it was special, but it seems like he assumed there wouldn't be a problem, which is a compliment to how comfortable you made your guests.

I had a friend of DH staying after a fair few pints in younger days, and I'd got in bacon and sausages to make the boys a fry-up for the morning after. I got up to make it and was very confused to find only half the pack of bacon left. I was very apologetic and said I'd go without so there was enough - friend then sheepishly confessed to fixing himself a bacon sandwich as a midnight snack!! Now that's what you call a rude guest.

whats the difference between beer and bourbon? both alcohol and both hanging around the house.yes maybe they could have asked but you should have put it out of sight.

Yes, guest was rude, but if he had spotted the one close friend who had also had some bourbon, and later spotted that in the kitchen, then I think it is down to you - should have put it out of sight in a cupboard, and not just on a work surface near a bottle of wine and the olive oil.

I don't think it absolutely 'fair game' that anything in sight is up for the taking, and clearly this chap took advantage, but might have got the message if he went looking in the kitchen for a refill later on.

You have learned from this not to allow it to happen again, and if that means some people think you being a bit fussy, then so be it. I know if I had something precious and wanted it not to go astray, it would be put away securely.

itigress course he took it thinking it was a nice expensive drink, he is a tighfisted man who loves bourbon and beer. he definitely fancied beer too.

I think the bit I would find most annoying is that it was a large measure he had taken for himself