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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cook spuds in goose fat for vegi BIL at xmas

314 replies

MeMudmagnet · 30/11/2010 11:30

I'd imagine most vegi's would think IABVU?

DH's family are with us for Christmas. They'll be 11 of us to cook for and BIL with obviously need something to replace the Turkey, no problem.
He'll also need separate gravy, hardly any bother.
I usually make a couple of stuffings and make sure one is meat free, again, no bother.
He also likes to have some vegi sausages to replace the pigs in blankets.

I like to do a good job with xmas dinner and I love doing the spuds in goose fat.
I ponder over this every time we have them for xmas. It's a PITA having to pretty much cook a separate vegi dinner alongside a traditional one, find space in the oven and get all the timings right.

Would it really hurt, for one day, if he was unknowingly more flexible?

The rest of the year when we see them, I just make something vegi for all of us, but this is xmas dinner and I like going to town a bit.

So;
a. Would he notice?
b. Would it be really, really bad?

OP posts:
UnquietDad · 01/12/2010 11:21

Has anyone posted yet?? Grin

RunawayChristmasTree · 01/12/2010 11:26

YABU you can not give him spuds cooked in animal fat.
Oh and by the way I am NOT a veggie

Lonnie · 01/12/2010 11:30

If you are already cooking him something special (nut roast or similar I assume) then stick 3 roast potatoes in with that and say they are for him and you are done

in answer to your question

A) yes JUST like you notice if they are made in goosefat or other stuff there is a taste difference.

B) Yes!

YABVU and slightly disrespectful towards your Bils right to choose if he wishes to eat animal products or not (I say slightly because you havent actually done this yet)

duchesse · 01/12/2010 11:37

Love that skethc UQD!

duchesse · 01/12/2010 11:40

I wouldn't tell your BIL frankly. Just tell everyone it's olive oil if they ask. Or just tell him the truth and let him make his own decision.

ChippingIn · 01/12/2010 12:25

UQD - I love that! (and I'm a vegetarian).

Cupcakesandbunting - your attitude is beyond belief.

QS - no I wouldn't expect anything special cooked for me. In fact we are going to friends this year and they have asked what I would like 'instead' of the Turkey and came up with a few suggestions... but I have told them that I am more than happy with all the sides etc. They make lovely roast pots in veg oil (we often have a roast there) and it will be a lovely day. There is enough to do without making substitute things as well. Of course if someone has the time/space/inclination to do something then that's wonderful - but I certainly wouldn't expect it and wouldn't want them stressing out about it! However, as I guess you have accepted by now, it is never acceptable to lie to someone about what is in their food. It is sob worthy not to be able to have the roast pots - but it's my choice - not anyone elses.

Duchesse - it is not on to lie about what is in someones food - how would you feel if you found out afterwards that the roasts had been cooked in dog-oil? You don't have to cook anything different for a veggie if you don't want to - but you do have to be honest about what is in the food and they can go without roast spuds.

duchesse · 01/12/2010 12:37

I'd say "Wow! Dog oil? That is something I haven't tried before." And if I were a guest at someone's house I would certainly not react negatively to anything that they had cooked for me.

bupcakesandcunting · 01/12/2010 12:40

"Cupcakesandbunting - your attitude is beyond belief."

Meh.

SkyBluePearl · 01/12/2010 12:53

yes use goose fat but tell him so he can decide. or stick a jacket potato in the oven for him.

MistsAndMellow · 01/12/2010 12:58

PMSL at UQD's link:

"We don't eat Vegetarian. When you came round we made you a mushroom risotto"

I eat a mainly veggie diet with fish or chicken perhaps two or three times a year but I did find that funny Grin

bupcakesandcunting · 01/12/2010 12:58

Why does everyone keep saying stick him a jacket potato in? I can't think of much that would be grosser than having a jacket potato on the same plate as gravy.

MistsAndMellow · 01/12/2010 13:01

And no I do not consider myself to be a vegetarian.

I do like the odd Bear

duchesse · 01/12/2010 13:02

Mist- you eat the odd bear!!?? Only the really odd ones I hope- natural selection and all that.

duchesse · 01/12/2010 13:03

Would he really be eating gravy, what with being vegetarian and all? Or is OP doing Vege-gravy as well?

MistsAndMellow · 01/12/2010 13:03

Grin at duchesse

ratspeaker · 01/12/2010 13:05

In reply to the OP
a) he'd probably notice
b) its really really BAD

my SIL made soup the 1st Xmas she was in the family, said it was vegetable stock. We veggies could taste it wasn't.
Made us feel upset but worse still it make us feel hurt that someone could disregard our feelings like that, that they'd lie, that they'd think so little of us. It soured the whole relationship
The result is we dont trust her now, wouldn't eat anything she made, don;t go round to hers for meals, feel uncomfortable around her (and BIL as he must have colluded in the deception )
Personally I'd rather go without than be lied to

bupcakesandcunting · 01/12/2010 13:13

"The result is we dont trust her now, wouldn't eat anything she made, don;t go round to hers for meals, feel uncomfortable around her (and BIL as he must have colluded in the deception )"

BWAH HA HA HA HA dramatic, much?

SirBoobAlot · 01/12/2010 13:18

Didn't you post this last year too? I'm sure someone did.

Get a small bag of pre-prepared roast potatoes - Aunt Bessies, or a Co-Op tray or something - they don't take that long, and don't take up much space. Its not fair on him, and if you've agreed to have him for Christmas lunch you need to cook to suit his requirements.

40deniertights · 01/12/2010 13:38

While you are BU, I also have much sympathy. I have a BIL who is vegetarian. Almost every year I have to do a complete separate dinner which I would mind a whole lot less if he ever cooked for me tbh. Christmas dinner is difficult with one oven and lots of people, so you are not BU to be tempted, but would be if you did it. Goose fat really not that great I find anyway. Technique is more important!

ratspeaker · 01/12/2010 14:26

aaargh oh no oh no aaargh

bupcakes how can you say that sob sob
< falls to ground in Keith like manner >

< gets up again to stamp feet>
I am not dramatic

Original poster
MeMudmagnet · 01/12/2010 15:26

Duchesse- Yes, I do him vegi gravy
and vegi turkey substitute thingy
and vegi sausages
and vegi stuffing
and vegi bloody potatoes....
All in my tardis of an oven alongside a proper xmas meal for 10 other people. It all needs to be ready and hot at the same time.
And it IS a PITA

He's happy to make the exception to eat, xmas pud, biscuits, cheese, milk, wine and xmas cake though.

As someone else said, I wouldn't mind if he occasionally said, "Thanks for taking the trouble Memudmagnet, I know it must be difficult at xmas"
Or even, "Can I do anything to help?"
But no, there's just this expectation of a FULL traditional xmas lunch, vegi sty-lie.

I'm not going to cook his spuds in goose fat as I know really it is unreasonable ;) But every year I get more and more tempted.

OP posts:
duchesse · 01/12/2010 15:52

I'm feeling a gap developing in the market for ready made vegetarian christmas meals...

ratspeaker · 01/12/2010 16:18

Good idea duchesse

MeMud why not ask your guests to bring something along?

Original poster
MeMudmagnet · 01/12/2010 16:32

It's not the preparation that's the problem, I really don't mind that.
It's fitting it all in the oven, for it to be ready and hot at the same time.
And, as I said, the feeling that it's all taken for granted.

I'm really not going to do it, so all the mad vegi's can stop swearing at me now Grin
But I'm glad to see there are a few people who could see how tempting it would be Wink

OP posts:
LC200 · 01/12/2010 16:41

Aunt Bessies for him, goose fat for the rest of you. They hardly need careful attention!