for feeling smug when mothers of school-agers describe themselves as "Full-time mums" or "Housewives"?

[CareeringAlong]

Name change...

Following from the threads about life at home when you don't do voluntary of paid work, although your children are of school-age, I was wondering if anyone else who does work can't help feeling a tad superior? Oh yes, I know I'll be flamed for this, but there it is.

These housewives seem to do all the things that working mothers do (cooking, cleaning, planning etc, etc, etc) but don't have any purpose outside of this. They seem to think that doing the supermarket shopping is a reasonable replacement for a 'real' career. I can't help but feel prejudiced against them.

I'm currently a SAHM as DD is pre-school, but will do paid (and voluntary) work as soon as she's in school. I'm looking forward to building-up my career again and working for the family.

Oh, and before anyone jumps on this, I've always cooked decent-quality meals from scratch, even when I worked v. long hours; my dogs are walked in the early hours; and my house is always clean and tidy. I argue that ironing is for losers, however!

OK. Hard hat on!

I can do you the a comparison of the development of buddhist religion between theist and atheist variants? An analysis of ASD services with suggestions for narrowing geeographical variations in service provision?

No?

Ah but at least i've cured all your insomnia

I'm here. Hi!

I don't really have anything else to add.

Nobody's changed my mind. I'm glad to not be the woman with school children or older who says that she's a "Stay at home mum" or "Home maker", when the subject of jobs (voluntary or otherwise) arises at parties.

Could I throw Kant into the mix at this stage, or would I be accused of obscene language?

Damn you SantasMooningArse and CareeringAlong I thought I'd ended the thread. I think your post was more interesting though Santas.

WEll CA I know of Kant and indeed it's onscenr but at least it's not Nietzsche. That would be too damned much.

Oops typing even worse than usual sorry- waking toddler on lap.

Op - did anyone try to change your mind??? On what exactly? Well, you feel smug on "ft mum" or "housewife" expressions. Can you suggest better ones? Maybe "free to do whatever I want woman" or "not a slave and have imagination to fill my time" sound better?

The trouble is, they are too long and not everyone at schoolmates will get them

School gates of course!

CareeringAlong - if you had started by saying that you were glad to be a WOHM, because you don't think you'd enjoy being a SAHM, that would have been very different.

But you asked if you were being unreasonable to feel smug about the fact that you work whilst the mothers of some school-age children don't - and that was deliberately nasty and provocative.

I am glad you are happy with your decision - but I don't think this gives you any right to look down on people who have made a different decision, and to denigrate that choice by making sweeping generalisations about cleaning, ironing and shopping.

Oh how superior you are!! Wow - we are all in awe of your wondrous self! You dont come across as concieted or stuck up at all.

So come on tell us then all about your very important positon in which you are employed? Tell us how fullfilled it makes you feel. I expect its a much more superior position to most other working mums too?? It must be for such a superior and super inmportant bod like you!

Why bother yourself with the niff naff of raising your children full time when there are other so much more impottant things in the world than your kids! Do you just squeeze them in like the ironing (oh forgot you dont such menial work do you? That is for the losers of this world) when you have a spare 5 minutes from stroking your own ego?

I expect there are plenty of Full Time SAHM that have alot more going for them than your shallow narrow minded self!

oh i bet not,fluff and fold isnt really up there is it.

noo,lifeblood of mn is nursery/sahm/working.fuck without it yiu would have to scrabble aboot with the bores from style section.tittering about ysl and touch eclat dis and dat

scottishmummy,

why do these debates always make you rise to the bait?

If you feel secure in your choice, why not
'jog on' and ignore?

I haven't read the whole thread because I can't be bothered. I am a SAHM, when I become a WOTH mum I am at least getting a cleaner, but hopefully a male au-pair who drives and can use a drill.

This isn't a 'strangers bringing up your children' thread though, as CareerAlong was only talking about the time that the children are in school.

Ah bolix...she's miserable and this kind of thread makes her feel important.

You've used up your cant allowance for one thread.

Just 1 Q, careering along, you say at the beginning you have name changed purely because you did not want to be recognized by friends on here. At 19.47 you say that a couple of your friends have PMd you knowingly. So, if the cat is out of the bag, could you at least have the courage of your convictions and admit who you are, otherwise it's pretty cowardly IMHO.

Out of interest, would you class a nanny as a prostitute? Or a PA? I really don't see the difference. A SAHM usually has a busy and complicated role coordinating many family members and works hard, and as such earns her keep. Just because she is working for or caring for own family members doesn't make it not legitimate work.

I guess I am in a similar position to you OP, in that ATM I am at home ('legitimately' - I have a 2 year old), as well as 3 other children. But at present i am so busy running around with endless doctors appointments (1 has health problems) I can't see how or when I'd be able to return to work - my skills are now long since obsolete.

But ultimately, I keep my mind on my own family and try my best to bring my children up how I think is best, supporting my husband as best I can and generally trying to live my life as best I can, and that includes being a good example. And that includes trying not to judge others and making assumptions about other people.

If you really think about the role of women in the west, yes we have achieved emancipation , come some way to equality, but there's still a long way to go. The workplace, the world is still a sexist place to be in, heavily biased towards men, unequal pay and employment opportunities, unequal division of domestic work and responsibilities. As an educated woman, I'm sure you understand this. Many men still consider women to be inferior. So I find it truly sad and depressing for another woman to jump in and take such a blinkered and ignorant view against women. Dont you think women have it hard enough already? Up the sisterhood and all that.

I was very lucky when my children were young in that I didn't have to return to work when the youngest went to school. I used to come across some smug WOHM at the school gates who used to look down their noses at me. The problem is that I have no ambition. I don't think I'm lazy, I was busy all the time. True it's not a full time job to look after a home when the children are out all day but I did do everything. I figured that as I wasn't working outside the home my DH really had a reasonable right not to expect to do anything (beyond make the odd cup of tea occasionally) in the home. I used to fill up my time with various bits of charity work, sat on a few fund raising committees, did the shopping and laundry for an elderly neighbour, walked the dog for a young couple, both working, who lived nearby and, oh yes, was usually the first person the snotty working mums called when one of their DC were too ill to go to school and their boss was getting arsey about them taking a day off work!

Actually, the OP is a housewife / full time mum, whatever she chooses to call herself, and whatever her future plans. She's not going back to work for several years. If I took a job this morning as a blacksmith , and planned to make horse shoes every day for four years, the other blacksmiths would give my protestations that I was planning on quitting in 2014 and so therefore wasn't really a blacksmith, pretty short shrift.

OP - you are a housewife. Deal with it.

I've really enjoyed reading this thread, I actually had a good laugh. Mostly because almost everyone on it says "my life, my choice, op you're nasty, your post is obscene", and still here we are 29 (29!!) pages later feeding this thread.

Keep it up please, I have the day off today

I'm meant to be working 2 hours tday. School closed snow day. Hope nursery open. What am I supposed to do, tell kids to play out in snow and I'll keep eye on them from work window?!