going to work when you have preschool age children is a cop out if you are just doing it because you dont want to be at home?

[onc]

There have been lots of times that I have thought about returning to work but I feel that doing so mainly or just because I'm not enjoying being home, have PND etc is a cop out?

Thoughts?

Copping out of what? Is your DP also 'copping out' if he goes to work?

What? So if you work for any other reason than absolute necessity, then it's a cop out? Bizarre logic.

I would say this is rather vague. If you're looking at a particular situation, you need to give more specific info.

I wish more shite parents would cop out instead of dragging the poor toddlers around shopping centres stuffed in a buggy when they should be playing with their toddler friends.

....although it sounds a bit like the start of a "bashing working mums" thread...

if so....

it's been done....

If you can get by without working, would be working for a loss with no real benefit to your career etc. You work because you don't want to be at home. IYSWIM.

Eh?

"You work because you don't want to be at home." And that's a bad thing is it?

There is nothing wrong with working if thats what is best for your family/situation - taking into account your own needs and happiness as well as your DC. There is also nothing wrong with not working if thats what is best for your family/situation.

'Cop out'? No, only if you believe that mothers must stay at home and care for their chlidren. Which I don't.

If working would make you happier (better for your mental health etc) then do it.

No I dont think its a cop out not if you think your kids will have a better time at a nursery than stuck at home with someone who feels, well, trapped?
Youd be putting your kids first, enhancing your life, possibly enhancing theirs, maybe developing your career.

Surely it's the other way round?

Bored? No need to start a new thread just search for any of the other 27 million threads on this topic and knock yourself out.

HTH

I wish more shite parents would cop out instead of dragging the poor toddlers around shopping centres stuffed in a buggy when they should be playing with their toddler friends.

They can do this if a parents stays at home, toddler group, meeting other parents etc.

Are you saying that if you are not up to the job let someone else do it?

anyone?

I work so my family isn't living under the poverty line, but not everyone's reasons are the same.

If you aren't enjoying it at home and have PND then maybe getting out, even part time, would actually be of huge benefit to you and you LOs.

I went out to work when my DD's were preschoolers because we needed the money....but I enjoyed it too.

And you want me to feel quilty? V odd.

"Are you saying that if you are not up to the job let someone else do it?"

Why not? Having babies doesn't neccessarily make you a good parent of little children. You might come into your own with older children.

If you would be happier at work, then go to work FGS!

Personally I couldn't not work - I tried it for 9 months when DD1 was small and nearly went insane!

You mention PND - have you been diagnosed? How old is/are your DC?

TBH I sort of understand what you are saying - when DD1 was born I think I did have an element of PND, and couldn't wait to get back to work full time just so I could get away from her. However, gradually the fog lifted, I worked out what would work best for me and for DD, and I switched to freelance work which to some extent has given me the best of both worlds.

I just don't get it. There have been times when I have hated being at home, PND, bored, lonley, fed etc BUT I wouldn't benefit from working unless I did evenings weekends etc which is not going to work with children at school and DH away loads. I had a career pre- DCs but knew I didn't want to do that forever. So really there is no reason for me to work unless I really could'nt stand it at home?

So thats why i wonder if it would be a cop out? I would feel uneasy. In this case aren't DC almsot always better off with a parent at home?

YABU.... Whether anyone works, stays at home or some combination of the two is a personal decision based on many factors - financial, practical, ethical, emotional - not a 'cop out'. If staying at home makes you unhappy, get a job. If working makes you unhappy, stay at home. Doesn't pay to judge.

yup... knew it... working-mum-bashing by stealth.....

sigh.... I am a SAHM and am still bored to tears with these types of threads...

OP, shouldn't you be tending your children at home instead of stirring online?

So we aren't even allowed to bring them to a shopping centre now?

Do fuck off theres a dear.

OP it's hugely insulting for you to suggest that someone who is at work instead of at home with a toddler is either not up to the job or copping out. Do you have this sort of superiority complex in real life as well?

what?

Of course, if your home life is utter shit for some reason, you might be better sorting that out rather than just avoiding the issue by being somewhere else for as long as possible. But if you find you're just not cut out for entertaining and cleaning up after toddlers all day long, and are dying for a bit of mental stimulation, why agonise? Parents who have no choice manage it all the time and, whatever you might read in certain rags newspapers, they aren't necessarily raising a generation of drug-crazed hooligans. If you can afford to work part-time, you get the best of both worlds.

"Are you saying that if you are not up to the job let someone else do it?"

Absolutely!
Why would you put yourself or your children through it. If you enjoy staying at home and can afford to do so, great. However, if it makes you miserable it will be making them miserable too. So getting a job will be win-win. No?

What a ridiculous thread that can only have been conceived by someone wanting an argument.