To wonder why my friend has sent a present to DH?

[eurocommuter]

A friend came to visit and spent the weekend with us a few weeks ago. Dh has met her a few times but through me and we both never thought that they were friends. Dh has now received a package from her with a note thanking him for having her. She never mentioned that to me nor sent me a thank you for inviting her to my home. I think its odd actually I find it disrespectful.
AIBU?

Oh please send her

My mum once brought a lonely friend of hers for Christmas round ours. We had never met him before, but we bought him little gifts for under the tree etc etc.

He arrived with nothing, drank amply, spoke barely at all and made everyone be quiet for the eleven thousand episodes of Christmas Coronation Street. He is a Legend.

lol! my mum used to invite randomers on christmas day, but we were all so unchristian about it, bitched and whined about it before and after that she gave up trying to do her civic duty by the time we were teenagers, thank goodness.

that sounds terribly mean of me, but like hully says, they did manage to ruin christmas!

One brought a home made christmas pud at i think it had persil in it. My mum still winces when she remembers forcing 25grams of it down. That was the clincher I think. The last year.

To be fair it didn't ruin it, it was very bonding as we all sniggered in the other room and pulled faces at poor mother. But it is bizarre that a total stranger comes into the happy throng and 14 other people bend to their whim. Why is that?

+1 @chippingin,
Oscalito, I have never developed any inappropriate crushes. In fact, if anything, my radar is more honed now than it ever was. I notice my friends' husbands' flaws and wonder that they can love them!!!!!

That's it exactly. I am quite sociable and an easy guest I hope, but I can't think of anything more awkward than wandering into somebody else's house on Christmas day.. [wince]

ValiumSingleton - congratulations to you!

It's not something to be congratulated on really. It's the norm in my World. I think young single women are more likely to behave in a flirty way around other people's husbands than divorced women.

Two people did exactly as Hully describes at my parents' house last year - turned up with short arms and long pockets, drank all day, ate huge amounts, let my 75 yo dm make them tea and serve them mince pies etc etc. They were my pil though :(

so in sum:

a) she's divorced (if she had a partner it might be different)
b) she didn't send the book to you, with a note that it was for your husband, but went over your head directly to him. THat's not good etiquette among females.
c) she sent the book knowing you wouldn't be there
d) she stared at your DH a lot
e) DH is adamant she can't come back

WHY might it be different if she has a partner!? Would being married cancel out b, c) & d)

You don't have to be married to have a partner.
And no, having a partner doesn't cancel out b, c and d.

But a sexy single woman who can travel where she likes, when she likes, might be a bit more carefree about who she falls for than a woman bogged down by the weight of a partner and/or children, who probably take up a lot of her emotional space.
Being single means nothing by itself. Being single and sending gifts to another woman's husband means something, not least a breach of etiquette. It would be a breach of etiquette if she was with a partner as well, of course.

I agree Sakura - ALL behaviour means something. Sending someone elses husband a £60 book means something.

That about sums it up Sakura.

Just to play devil's advocate for a while... Can we not for a second consider that this might not have been a malicious scheme to steal your DP away from you? He's an adult, and he doesn't need presents, from a mate who he could very well have just struck up a good friendship with, to be vetted by a third party. If she had designs on him, I'm sure she would have found a more secretive way of delivering the gift!

Now that I'm not being Devil's Advocate... yeah, that strikes me as odd, especially considering the cost of the book. I don't think it was meant to undermine your relationship, though. Just impulsive and badly thought out. Perhaps she's needy and feels like she has to go to great measures to keep friends.

Was she staring because your DH looks like this?

Tell her she can't come for easter because you have visitors,,

I have a friend who has never met my DH,when we got married and i sent her the pics,she kept commenting on DH's pink lips,and at one time told me to look for someone who looked like him,she then asked if she could come for a visit and i agreed,that same weekend DH went to Asia,i had not told her because i thought she was coming to see me,

when she arrived and realised that DH wa not going to be there,she told me that her weekend had been ruined,the whole weekend all she spoke about was how it would have been nice if DH was there,i even invited one of my single friends who looks almost like my DH but she said,no way,that guy does not look like your DH,,WTF?,