To wonder why my friend has sent a present to DH?

[eurocommuter]

A friend came to visit and spent the weekend with us a few weeks ago. Dh has met her a few times but through me and we both never thought that they were friends. Dh has now received a package from her with a note thanking him for having her. She never mentioned that to me nor sent me a thank you for inviting her to my home. I think its odd actually I find it disrespectful.
AIBU?

YANBU, how strange. What was the gift? Something that can be shared by you and DH? If so, call her and thank her for the gift for you both, it was lovely etc etc. That'll ruffle her feathers.

YANBU. How very odd!

No, it is odd.

Maybe your present is on its way...

The gift was definitely for him only as it is a very lovely book about his work/passion, so nothing to do with me.

The gift was definitely for him only as it is a very lovely book about his work/passion, so nothing to do with me.

Did she seem quite taken with him whilst with you both?

maybe because she didn't know him that well she thought he was nice to have her to stay because she was there to see you? A bit like you might thank someone's parents if you stayed in their house to see their daughter? not sure that makes sense, I know what I mean!

Had she promised to send the book in conversation or something? I can see how it might be a nice gesture following on from something they had talked about while she was staying.

But the letter still should have been addressed to both of you. Bloody rude not to acknowledge you frankly.

I think it's slightly odd that she didn't send the note to both of you, but I can totally understand that she might have just happened upon a book which reminded her of your husband and it triggered her to send a belated thankyou.

I think the friend giving the DH a gift is a bit off. I can totally see why and eccentric uncle would attempt to bond with the DH of a niece though (not that I approve, its just fractionally LESS odd).

Odd. Is she British?

It's a little strange but maybe she sent gifts to you both and yours has yet to arrive. Or, perhaps sending a thank you gift hadn't crossed her mind but, like another poster said, saw the book and knew it was a subject your husband was interested in and thought he'd like it so sent it as a thank you gift.

In your position I'd contact her myself and say how pleased DH was with the book. I suppose in the back of my mind there'd be that little niggle that maybe she liked DH more than she should and that if I replied rather than him she'd know it wasn't reciprocated. I am overly suspicious though and she was probably just being friendly.

Is it maybe a case of "I saw this and thought of you"....

If its such a passion of his then there is a good chance that she is just doing something nice...

My first thought was - she fancies him.

If she fancied your dh she would not send a present to your home.

I would assume that she happened upon the book and realized it would be of interest to your dh.

Phone her and thank her for the kind gesture. And don't dwell on it.

that was my first thought too Animation

I agree with posters who say you woudln't send a gift to someone's husband that you fancied.

I suspect a) she was being polite by sending DH a gift since she felt she was probably an imposition to him while staying.

or b) she sent one to both of you and yours hasn't arrived yet.

you'd sent it to your friend and say, "I thought your DH might like this"
YOu wouldn't bypass your friend and go directly to the husband. THat's a breach of boundaries, surely.
You would only do that if you were certain that your friend would get where you were coming from. The OP doesn't get it, so that's what makes it weird.

A little strange

I would contact her and say "thanks for DH's gift, very thoughtful of you..." then leave it open for her to fill in the gaps

Hello. Laptop died on me while i was typing last night.

Like Sakura says, i wouldn't have thought it odd if she had said somthing to me before. A casual 'i saw a book i thought your dh would like and planning on sending it to him'. I saw her last week and she said nothing about it.
To put this into context, We do not live in the UK but i work here a few days a week so meet up with her while i'm in the UK for work. I saw her last week here and she did not mention it. DH received the package yersterday and phoned me. I haven't seen it yet.
The other thing that is while she was staying with us, dh kept asking her to stop staring. i didn't think anythiong of it then but now i'm wondering. She is not british, so maybe a cultural thing i'm missing. but then again neither is dh and he finds it odd and has aked that she not visit anymore.

Will call her today to say thank. But i feel like i should ask why she did mention it to me.

I don't find this odd at all. If my friends stay is is my DH who is 'putting up with them' - and I think it is sweet to get him something.

"dh kept asking her to stop staring"

Whoa, she HAS got the the hots for him, and blatant with it. What's up with her - the woman needs to get it under control!

Yikes. It's all bizzare. The staring thing is odd. Watch out the next parcel isn't a bunny.

are they from the same culture?