To want my DD to be able to open her presents on Xmas morning.

[fifitot]

For the first time this year me, DH and the children, a baby and a 4 year old are spending xmas with DH's family. We are staying over at his brother and sils and their twin 7 year olds.

I was looking forward to this until I was told that in DH's family they never open xmas presents immediately on waking. In fact DH used to have to wait until after Xmas dinner but apparently now the practice is his brother's kids get up in the morning but the present opening doesn't start until everyone arrives at the house. On this occasion various other bits of DH's family are due to come.

Bear in mind that my DD always gets up at 6 and not everyone will arrive til around 12. That is 6 hours of her hanging around waiting for her xmas presents! I just think it's mean and it will be so disappointing for a child to be full of anticipation for Xmas morning to be told to wait for all the adults to arrive - so we can have a 'nice' sedate present opening ritual.

At my house, the kids always got up first thing and it was merry chaos as presents were opened. The adults did theirs later. Plus DD has for her life so far had her presents first thing.

I really think this is mean and pointless but there is nothing I can do as we are at someone elses house. Have had a huge row with DH about it as think it's cruel. She's only 4 FFS and the belief in Santa will be over all too soon.

What do you think? And what do you think I can do to negate it?

christmas topic?

YANBU ..Christmas is about kids opening their presents first thing in the morning...

sassy - I don't think it's meant to be anything.

I thought christmas was about Jesus not present opening.

I'm pretty sure Mary got to hold the baby Jesus straight away & didn't have to wait until after lunch/Queens speeech/Josephs parenst stopped by to watch.

I think it is mean to make a child wait for all their presents until mid day. Especially if the presents are all there under the tree!

Your family are allowed their traditions also, so I would let your DD open her stocking and a few of her other presents first thing. Pick the presents that you know will keep her busy for the rest of the morning. Then mention to her that she may have a few more when the other relis arrive. How exiting for her-2 present openings

We actually do this anyway. It means we spread the anticipation out all day!! And the DC have been told from an early age that if they keep asking about the other presents, they might not get them

Sassy, you made my coffee go down the wrong hole! Totally concur with your sentiments on the matter.

I thought christmas was about Jesus not present opening.

Oh please, cut the piousness! For families who follow some religious observance, there is room for both. For me and mine, it's primarily chilling with loved ones, over indulging on good food, the excitement of present swopping and an excuse for a bit more decadence!

Jetli - but I think the wise men had to wait outside the stable until after the Queen ?

'I thought christmas was about Jesus not present opening'

nope, was all about Santa when my kids were younger

Our kids got stockings when they woke. We all open them together in our bed.

Then down to breakfast where there were a few Santa Presents, to keep them going.

We then have church and all family starts to arrive. Main present frenzy is after lunch (but we don't eat too late) and the kids loved reading the tags and handing them out to everyone, especially finding "their" presents to pile up. When they had handed them out they could open in a frenzy or slowly. TOok all afternoon, admiring the stuff and they have never moaned - although they were uber keen for all dinner to be cleared away so we could start :)

(I used to threaten them with waiting till after the Queens Speech - but never even made them watch it )

YANBU If they want to do things there way you are perfectly reasonable in wanting to do things the way your child is used to doing them. I'm 21 and I still get excited Christmas morning! :)

sassy - Godwin's Law approaches

If we're on wise men then they didn't arrive until he was about 3 years old!!! (Historically, traditionally was jan 6th)

Sassybeast - sorry, but if we didn't have a schedule for the morning we wouldn't get our 4 kids ready in time and the christmas services would not begin at 9:30!!!!

I was thinking the same way as jetli that there seems to be a bit of class divide . It seems to me the posher the family the more formal the Christmas. {grin}
I was allowed to open my pillowcase full of presents straight away usually in the company of my mom and dad.
Seeing that sack full of presents as a child is right up there with my lifes best moments!
I have loved reading everyones experience of Christmas and i think gathering together later in the day to share everyones excitement sounds very appealing.
Jux i found your desription really touching.
OP good luck in reaching a compromise with the stocking are they generally reasonable people. Please let us know how you get on.

fifitot practical suggestion, rather than stockings if that's really going to rock the boat, why not just buy some cheap craft kits for them (Xmas themed obviously!) and arrange to give them to all the kids on Xmas morning?

You don't need to wrap them (hence they don't count as presents and therefore satisfy the Rule) but it'll keep them entertained.

Interesting how many others open their presents Christmas afternoon. I always thought my family was odd for doing it. Our rule was always presents opened after the washing up had been done from Christmas lunch.

(My dad had to wait until after the Queen's speech when he was little - listened to standing up (!) - slightly odd as his family were very Socialist in general)

FWIW dd (now 8) is quite used to the fact that at ILs house presents get opened in the morning, at my parents and at home they get opened in the afternoon and it never seems to bother her at all. Since Christmas morning always involves loads of attention, board games, christmas carols etc etc its never seemed a problem.

We do have stockings though, opened first thing.

Be glad your ILs aren't Spanish, or your dd might not get her presents til Three Kings (ie the 6th of January)

Are your nephews young? And you will be in their house for Christmas? And want to change the way they do things to suit you and your dd?

HAve you suggested teh compromise of stocking in the morning, rest of the presents after lunch (which is not an outlandish way of doing tings IMO!)

I'm not entirely sure why opening presents at one time is viewed as being 'relaxed' and opeining them later is seen as 'regimented' TBH.

It's not, fallen.

I think it is relaxed to be a little flexible and ask visitors about any particular preferences that don't really matter at all, in the grand scheme of things.

Actually my heritage is German and grandparents always opened their presents on Xmas Eve. Maybe I should use cultural oppression as an argument!

WDYT of the craft kit idea fifitot?

It could work F - thanks for the idea. Truth is she will find something to amuse herself I am sure and Dh is very good at engaging kids in creative play. i suppose it's the idea that she can't have the pressies then that has irritated me.

To be honest I wouldn't go. I think it's unrealistic to whip them into a frenzy in the lead up to xmas and then make them wait for hours to open their presents.

I'd stay at home, get up open the presents and then go to IL's.
Is that an option?

YANBU! I have to ask - all those people who make the kids wait until late in the day - do you consider yourself middle class? Are there any Scots who also do this? This seems like a fairly joyless approach to Christmas and I can't imagine why anyone would do it.