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Original poster

To want my DD to be able to open her presents on Xmas morning.

337 replies

fifitot · 23/11/2010 08:13

For the first time this year me, DH and the children, a baby and a 4 year old are spending xmas with DH's family. We are staying over at his brother and sils and their twin 7 year olds.

I was looking forward to this until I was told that in DH's family they never open xmas presents immediately on waking. In fact DH used to have to wait until after Xmas dinner but apparently now the practice is his brother's kids get up in the morning but the present opening doesn't start until everyone arrives at the house. On this occasion various other bits of DH's family are due to come.

Bear in mind that my DD always gets up at 6 and not everyone will arrive til around 12. That is 6 hours of her hanging around waiting for her xmas presents! I just think it's mean and it will be so disappointing for a child to be full of anticipation for Xmas morning to be told to wait for all the adults to arrive - so we can have a 'nice' sedate present opening ritual.

At my house, the kids always got up first thing and it was merry chaos as presents were opened. The adults did theirs later. Plus DD has for her life so far had her presents first thing.

I really think this is mean and pointless but there is nothing I can do as we are at someone elses house. Have had a huge row with DH about it as think it's cruel. She's only 4 FFS and the belief in Santa will be over all too soon.

What do you think? And what do you think I can do to negate it?

OP posts:
DoJo · 09/12/2014 23:58

If we give it a bit longer, the child in question will probably register and post! Grin

Pelicangiraffe · 10/12/2014 00:02

You're crazy to think its mean. It's simply someone else's tradition and perfectly acceptable. Yes you do it differently but as far as I can see there is no right way!

Personally mine will have their stockings from Santa to keep them busy for the first couple of hours. All under the tree gifts are from friends/relatives and are opened in dribs and drabs at a time convenient to us - Xmas eve sometimes, some Xmas afternoon, some Boxing Day. The plus side is that they play thoroughly with their toys as they open them.

Pelicangiraffe · 10/12/2014 00:10

Xmas isn't about an orgy of gifts - consumerism gone mad. What's more important is spending quality time together and for religious folk, reflecting religiously.

TheRealMaryMillington · 10/12/2014 00:12

Laughing out loud at the "it's so cruel" comments

I must be a very wicked mother then as my 3 have had to put up with such terrible cruelty all their lives. We all have stockings hung by the fire, which have little bits and pieces in which are opened when we get up, but main presents are after Xmas dinner. It makes the anticipation and the fun last all day and the kids are very happy with the arrangement.

However if I was staying with someone else and the hosts opened their presents earlier I'd go with it without thinking twice.

Surely your DD will go with the flow? It's just you who wants it the way you have always had it.

ChippingInAutumnLover · 10/12/2014 00:13

Holger

For the love of Santa Claus!! What did you go and do that for you muppet Xmas Grin

How did you do it? Were you searching for 'Unreasonable BIL rules over Present Giving' or something??

IsChippyMintonExDirectory · 10/12/2014 00:14

I would let her open a few in the bedroom first and say "you have even more to open later" to get her excited.

I remember as a child, maybe 7 years old, hearing that some kids didn't open presents until after dinner time and remember thinking "how cruel, I couldn't bare waiting til then" Grin TBH I don't see the point of waiting, like you OP I think chaotic fun first thing is the best!

Pelicangiraffe · 10/12/2014 00:16

Our gift opening tends to be quite modest and we all enjoy watching each other's reactions to gifts.

Pelicangiraffe · 10/12/2014 00:17

Ancient thread alert Grin

Jill2015 · 10/12/2014 00:20

Zombie thread... Xmas Smile

Bulbasaur · 10/12/2014 00:21

The OP never came back to let us all know how it turned out.

Bad form. Angry

mamababa · 10/12/2014 00:21

What alseb said. I have a very few magical years of tremendous excitement of running down stairs to cries of 'santa's been'. I will not then turn around and say 'yes but wait for another 6 hours till you open them' to be honest, it would be torture for me to wait Blush

Summerisle1 · 10/12/2014 00:26

Hopefully, the 4 year old who featured at the outset of this zombie thread, has now recovered from the Cruel Christmas that appeared to be on the cards. She's now 8 so hopefully over the worst of it....

anothernumberone · 10/12/2014 00:28

OP YANBU

We don't do stockings and Santa can't be arsed does not wrap presents in our house. Our children get a few presents which are laid out on chairs in the sitting room on Christmas morning and their excited faces first thing in the morning is what Christmas is about for me other than my annual visit to a church to hear carols.

After a few crazy years of doing Christmas in various family permutations we now do it at home and we can do whatever we want. Christmas Eve and Stephen's Day are family visiting times instead and we can follow other's traditions then.

Picturesinthefirelight · 10/12/2014 00:29

When it comes to my children there are no compromises - my child my rules. Adults are big enough to deal with it.

Hell would freeze over before I made my children wait. We do gave stockings first thing then open the rest after a quick breakfast so I can function but ds confessed to me that he hates having to wait until after breakfast (though he never complains)

If I were you I'd put your dds presents in either your room or the room she will be sleeping in & let her open it. It's one day if the year, let her have the magic.

anothernumberone · 10/12/2014 00:29

Aw Just saw the zombie thread alert. Lesson to self RTFT.

ProcessYellowC · 10/12/2014 00:36

aww I'm now invested and want to know what happened to the OP's Christmas 4 yrs ago...

Italiangreyhound · 10/12/2014 00:45

Our kids open their stocking and one or two smaller items when they first get up. We go to church and have lunch and then they open more presents and especially the ones from any guests who are with us.

I think your dd will understand and learning to delay the enjoyment is a good thing. Once the gifts are opened some of the magic of the day is over IMHO!

Imagine how your dd will feel if she opens all her gifts in private alone at 6.00 am (or accompanied by just you and your hubby and baby) and then sits by later as rest of family plough through a mountain of gifts and she opens nothing. That sounds more cruel. It's not all about the gifts, and kids do learn that.

If she believes in Santa why not allow her his gift and a stocking first thing, this is what we do, but certainly not at 6.00 a.m!

Bulbasaur · 10/12/2014 01:08

aww I'm now invested and want to know what happened to the OP's Christmas 4 yrs ago...

I want a current update to know if there's long term effects on children for making them wait to open presents.

Maybe in another 10 years she'll make an appearance on the Stately Homes threads.

ChippingInAutumnLover · 10/12/2014 01:13

I have sent a PM to the OP - hopefully she'll update us Xmas Grin

...and put Holger on the Naughty List Xmas Grin

ChippingInAutumnLover · 10/12/2014 01:14

I love these threads, kind of shows who reads the thread and who thinks only their own opinion is important Xmas Grin Xmas Grin

SarahCraine · 10/12/2014 03:19

I am sure that your DD will have plenty of Christmas presents to open. So, let her open some at 6 inside your room, and open the remaining gifts when everyone arrives. And besides, a 4 year old doesn't know yet the difference between 6 am and 12. So, stop worrying too much fifitot.

NadiaWadia · 10/12/2014 03:30

Well quite, Chipping.

'I remember this thread, thought it was a new one until I checked out the dates! While we're here, could I just point out that neither I, not anyone else, claimed making the child wait was 'unspeakably cruel' (which would have been completely OTT) as you will see if you look back on page one. One poster, later echoed by others, was scoffing at this phrase, which was never actually used, all because she couldn't be bothered to read properly.

'Unthinkingly cruel' was what I said and really 'cruel' was a bit OTT. Still pretty mean though, IMO. Christmas should be about making the kids happy.

Reading through properly would also stop people posting on zombie threads as if the situation had just happened.

I wonder what happened in the end?

NadiaWadia · 10/12/2014 03:33

I think a lot of people just read the OP, and then stick their own opinion on at the end. They don't even bother to see if the OP has updated (and clearly don't notice the date at all).

LineRunner · 10/12/2014 03:38

I wonder if I made a comment four years ago that someone could report me for? The record currently only stands at two.

Jill2015 · 10/12/2014 05:42

I hope the child isn't still waiting, to open the presents, four years later... Xmas Grin