In wondering what's wrong with reins?

[beebuzzer]

Who uses them?
Who doesn't?

I do and I often get patted on the back for it by passing old ladies who "don't understand why they ever went out of fashion"
My mum used them on all of us. If I didn't use one my little one would be all over the shop and I am guessing holding my hand for any period of time would be quite uncomfortable for her. (she is only small)

I just cannot get myself worked up about this. Either you use them or you dont.
I used them once with DS, but it turned out that he was a good walker and never strayed from my side, he still doesnt at 4 years old.
DD isnt walking yet so who knows what she'll be like. If she's a bolter then I'll use them. If people dont like it, they can lump it.

I also use the backpack type rather than the wrist strap and I too have never had any comments. very useful for when DS gets distracted and reassuring to know I can hang on to him if he dives towards the road. I think the backpack ones feel to me like they work better for this because you can 'pull' evenly on the whole body not just the arm. For that reason I wanted to get the backpack/harness style ones, and when I looked and discovered that they were now VERY hard to get hold of, was when I realised old-style reins must be Out Of Favour. But they work for me.

My parents were very anti, and by default, so was I - never considered them.

This is going to make me sound really bad, but our au pair got some for DS as a back-up safety measure, and we started to use them as well.

I tend to hold his hand, but they're great as a back up, especially in busy shopping areas, or busy roads, etc.

Am more than happy for passers by to look down their noses - there's plenty I look down my nose at, so everyone's happy!!

People say reins are for dogs because people want to stop dogs from running away or getting run over but don't care if children do. Some children you just can't trust not to suddenly leg it.
Reins are for dogs in the same way as seatbelts are only for bad drivers. They are a sensible precaution.

I used them for about a month when taking a toddling DS into crowded areas.

He did that thing where he would make his legs go floppy so I was left trying to hoist up two stone of toddler by a rein strap. I soon packed it in.

I don't care if someone uses them with their kid or not. I'm usually too busy judging the mother for feeding her DCs Greggs fayre and Froot Shoots to worry about the reins.

My DD likes her wrist reins. If I don't put them on, she will ask for them, as she has a bit more freedom than she would if she was holding my hand all the time.

I am the only person in the school playground whose child is wearing reins, but on numerous occasions I have seen other peoples DC bolt and the parents have only just caught them before they went in the road. That won't be my DD.

To the people who say it is treating a child like a dog, I think it ridiculous that they imply I should take less care of my child than I would take of my dog. I teach her road safety, but there is no way I could trust her not to bolt if she saw something interesting on the other side of the road.

I reserve my judginess for the cretins who drive too fast past the primary school and seem genuinely surprised to encounter other people on the road. Sadly, these are usually mothers dropping their DC of at school. They are one of the reasons why reins are necessary.

I used reins for my twins, sometimes you need a free hand and can't hold onto them all the time! I found them particularly useful when putting them in and out of the car. I'd loop the reins for one of them over my arm whilst I picked up and strapped the other in, so the first one couldn't leg it whilst my attention was diverted and I was dealing with the other.

They got to an age where I didn't need to use them anymore but for a while they were very useful. If other mothers have other ways of handling it, good for them. Keeping my children safe is my biggest priority and I'll do that however I see fit and really couldn't care less what anyone else thinks.

i don't get the hoo ha, however i am nearly 6 foot, DS (16 months) is about a foot and a half, if i am to hold his hand i have to lean over at an uncomfortable angle and his arm is held up in the air over his head, which surely isn't comfy, and it affects his balance being all one arm up.

I didn't realise they were so contentious!.

I tried to use them with DS1 but he used to think it was great fun just to go limp and dangle and bounce. He didn't want to walk in them. I gave up after he repeatedly blocked pavements and I got tired arms from trying to keep him from sitting in puddles. Plus somehow he always managed to go the opposite side to me round people walking in the other direction and we would end up tangled. I had no trouble keeping him out of roads though. He would walk on the inside of the pavement and we would sometimes hold hands or I would shield him from the road with my body and the pushchair if I had it with me. You just have to be vigilent and anticipate what will catch his eye - easier with one child than several but doable.

Never bothered with them with DS2 because they were more hassle than they were worth with DS1. He was however, a lazy arse and had to be prised out of his pushchair at 3.5yrs so not much opportunity for running off. He refused to hold hands when we did get him out of the pushchair but understood not to go near a road.

I don't have a problem with them, if they stop someone's child running onto traffic or something equally dangerous, then good on the parents for using them.

I wouldn't use it on my children though, I don't know why but it makes me uncomfortable. Maybe because generally it is animals that are tied like that. I have lost my eldest once in Bluewater and it was horrible, but I still wouldn't use them. Just resolved to be more careful, and it has worked upto now.

But like I said, I don't get judgy about others using them.

I had reins for dd1 but never needed them as she would stay beside me and hold my hand.

Dd2 however was a runner and I had some for her. I used them now and again but the place I used them the most was when we went to Florida on holiday, In Disneyworld they were a godsend. She was 16 months old and she didnt want to stay in the buggy the whole time she wanted to walk around but it was so busy that we had to use the reins to keep track of her. lots of people came up to us and commented positively on the reins telling us what a good idea they were and asking us where we had got them, etc.

I use reins I still say no but then mean my children are perfectly safe while they learn how to behave.

Never used them for my 3 because we had two dogs and I always thought I'd end up forgetting who I was walking with (Heel!). So combined holding hands with buggy and backpack. Worked out fine.

I use reins when I tie my child up outside a shop and pop in for to get some fags :)

In all seriousness, I did use reins, both the backpack and conventional type at times. We live in a busy city and walking around the shopping centre could be very nerve wracking with a toddler who didn't like to hold your hand and wanted to wander off.

Each to their own, I say....

I'm tall, with a bad back so I can't bend to hold my toddler's hand for any length of time. I'm also heyugly pregnant and if I try to run after him I wee! Reins are the answer for us! I've just got him a wrist strap too. I'd like to go with "I just teach him no" but toddlers rest boundaries and I can't effectively enforce his without wet pants.

Well I'm one on those lentil weaving, baby-wearing, attached parenting, knit-yer-own-mooncap types and I use them.

DD1 is AS, with no sense of danger,and a bolter. Same with DS2, so reins until they could cope with the impulse to run in the road and play with the catseye reflectors (Dd1) or lay down annd stroke the lovely white lines in the middle (DS2).

I didn't need reins for DS1 (NT) and DD2 is still at the bottom-shuffling stage.

Also a lentil-face here and I had some.
It is not nice for children to hold an arm up for long periods whilst holding a tall adult's hand. Try it now, bet you'll be feeling it after a minute or so. Reins keep their hands free for balance and to investigate, they allow more freedom of movement than hand-holding.

The argument that people manage without in the developing world is odd. They tend to have fewer cars than we do.Comparing parenting styles across vastly differing cultures without looking at the whole picture rarely gives any helpful conclusions.

I posted ages ago on here after being told off by another mother whilst walking to school.
Her very independant toddler refuses to go in a buggy, and refuses to hold hands. I mentioned reins, and might have well have said that the child should be drugged, for the reaction I got.
For the next ten minutes, I was the victim of a huge ranty lecture about the importance of DC learning for themselves about the dangers of life, how dc are not dogs, and restraining them is disgusting etc.
At least 5 times, the mother had to dive onto the busy road to rescue the child, as she kept bolting.

Fair enough, some dc don't need them, but I, for one, had bolters, and would far rather have a live child attached to reins, than one underneath a car.

I used to be an anti-reins snob.
Then I actually had my own bolting toddler to look after -- bit of sharp poetic come-uppance there.

I only use them now when 2yo DS wants to walk and I also have the buggy with me -- my buggy is a swine to steer anyway. The reins are a life saver in terms of being able to take my eyes off DS and still know where he is, I can even put 2 hands on the buggy and still keep reins in one of them.

I've heard those wrist staps have a high risk of causing shoulder dislocation (true?). Anyway, the reins are a more secure hold, I trust them a lot more.

I was just wondering whether those that are in the against reins camp think it's okay to put their child in a cot with bars or is that like treating them like a criminal. And do their children learn from birth not to roll off the end and smash their head?

What an odd thing to compare with .

no, I can see that comparison - restraint when the DC are too small to keep themselves safe but which might be viewed as over restraining by some.
Playpens have been likened to cages, why not cots?

It's actually not that odd an analogy - you put your baby in a cot for its own safety, and yet it could just as easily be considered to be 'shackling' the child in a way meant for animals as reigns could.

My 2 LO's didn't mind their wrist reins, they loved taking me for a walk and made sure I didn't run off.

I didn't like them at first, but then I realised they were very practical for my mad kids who have a tendency of running off. Personally speaking, I'd rather have the reins. After all, it's easier to fix a a dislocated shoulder than the serious injuries of a child who, unexpectedly, ran out onto the road and was knocked down.

I have used them, can't see the issue. You "teach them from the word go" anyway while using them and it takes a while for the message to sink in!!!

I used them as back up i.e. ds2 will be holding my hand and i'll have his reins wrapped round my wrist. He's quick as lightening and even though he knew he had to stay with me and hold hands it only took something to catch his interest for him to try and wander. When you're near a busy road or with lots of people about I'd rather have the security personally.

DS1 didn't need them for very long at all as he learnt very quickly, DS2 is a different story he's far too feisty and easily distracted and its taken a lot longer with him. He's just 2 and most of the time we're fine without them but if we're going somewhere very busy I'll use them, its just too easy for them to get lost in a crowd.

Have to say that I've never had a negative comment about them, first I knew that they were looked down upon was on mn!