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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In wondering what's wrong with reins?

186 replies

beebuzzer · 21/11/2010 23:48

Who uses them?
Who doesn't?

I do and I often get patted on the back for it by passing old ladies who "don't understand why they ever went out of fashion"
My mum used them on all of us. If I didn't use one my little one would be all over the shop and I am guessing holding my hand for any period of time would be quite uncomfortable for her. (she is only small)

OP posts:
AuntiePickleBottom · 22/11/2010 00:25

beebuzzer, but i could be implied that you are passing judgement on those who choice not to use them.

like if i don't use them my daughter will be knocked over by a car or killed on the road.

CakeandRoses · 22/11/2010 00:25

I don't get the issue with them at all. It's uncomfortable for me or dh to hold ds's hand for long periods (he's small, we're both tall), I don't want to take any risks with him and traffic and I have a 4mo dd in a pram. Ds walks very happily on reins and also holds my hand across roads. In places away from traffic he walks on his own.

If anyone wants to judge that then that's their problem. :-)

PAnd I agree, wrist straps are basically the same thing as reins.

VirginonRidiculous · 22/11/2010 00:25

They are not necessary Otch but they are a method that some people like to use and no-one should deem them unfit to use on children if it saves one unruly little one from running off from a Mum. You seem to be happy with your chosen methods and that's great. My friend is exactly the same as you and I admire her parenting techniques. Think that we just need to accept evryones methods and not judge too harshly or say that it's wrong or 'weird'.

Original poster
beebuzzer · 22/11/2010 00:26

Pickle can you quote me where I said that?
I have asked questions yes but not passed judgement on people who dont use them.

OP posts:
AuntiePickleBottom · 22/11/2010 00:28

otcha but if the means are available to keep your child safe isnt it just normal to take the opportunity?

VirginonRidiculous · 22/11/2010 00:29

That was a question as beebuzzer said

ShanahansRevenge · 22/11/2010 00:30

I used them and I suspect those who frown on them do not have kamikaze kids who suddenly take off on main roads....I dont care what others think...my two yearold was a nightmare for a while...she's fine now...but without reigns she would have been stuck in a buggy all the time.

Original poster
beebuzzer · 22/11/2010 00:30

That was asking a question (after being called a weirdo) and a general one, not just about reins.

OP posts:
Original poster
beebuzzer · 22/11/2010 00:36

Ok I had better get off to bed. Have a good night everyone :)
TY Virgin

OP posts:
otchayaniye · 22/11/2010 00:38

beebuzzer, someone mentioned 'weird' (imo) parenting practices, I was responding in turn, using that word.

BreconBeBuggered · 22/11/2010 00:40

Never crossed my mind to use them with DS1, but DS2 was a bolter who could run a helluva lot faster than I could. So yes, I used reins to stop him jumping in front of a bus. Never realised it was such a disgracefully common thing to do, chaps.

otchayaniye · 22/11/2010 00:42

as in, you said my parenting practices might be considered 'weird' but that ours might look weird.

I don't really care about reins or dummies as I don't and won't use them. But the first thing that pops into my head if I see them is 'lower middle class' 'lazy' etc.

I know I shouldn't think those things, but the connection is somehow there, it registers, I tell myself not to be so silly and then it disappears into the ether. All in about 0.5 of a second.

Equally see how someone looking at me shuffling down the street with a 2 year old strapped to my back or front might think 'ludicrous hippy'. Don't really care.

JebusBuiltMyHotQuads · 22/11/2010 00:45

I used a backpack kinda like this. I stil held DC's hand, it was for added safety.

Nowt wrong with using them if that is what you judge suitable for you and your DCs Smile

ComingDownTheChimmley · 22/11/2010 00:48

oh my goodness, lower middle class laziness just for using reins/wrist straps

wow

just wow

Rockbird · 22/11/2010 00:53

Bloody hell we really are in the twilight zone tonight Hmm. Lower middle class and lazy? FFS what a pile of shite. There are so many things offensive in that statement it's hard to know where to start. But hey, it says more about you than anyone else so enjoy.

fatlazymummy · 22/11/2010 07:26

I agree with rockbird, I have brought up 3 children, used reins/wrist straps with all of them at times. I had to come on Mumsnet to discover I was 'lazy' and treated my children like dogs.
And then people often wonder why so many people don't like this forum. I really am so thankful Mumsnet didn't exist when my children were young, because I might have been tempted to actually believe some of this twaddle.

FreudianSlimmery · 22/11/2010 07:36

I had no idea some people felt so strongly against them!

I used them with DD and had no trouble weaning her off, she learnt road safety very young. As she got used to walking without them the rule was that if she ran off she would go back on them.

I'd much rather use reigns and let them walk from a young age than keep them in the buggy for longer. In our town the reigns aren't so much for preventing DCs running off, as for preventing them getting swept away by crowds of shoppers!

ididnamechangeforthis · 22/11/2010 07:38

I'm off to get a greggs sausage roll

Then I'm going to drink a whole bottle of coke for breakfast

Then I'm going to give my daughter haribo, fruit shoots and fizzy sweets.

Then I"m going to put her on reins.

I'm lazy, lower middle class, you see.

I don't even know the meaning of the word organic or attachment parenting. Hmm

Rillyrillygoodlooking · 22/11/2010 07:41

Wrist strap for me. Although we have been tutted at, and commented on, etc. However we have had positive comments in equal measure. As one old lady said "they won't congratulate you when you lose your child".
DS is three and just runs off. He gets quite far, and he is hard of hearing. He has hearing aids but the further away he is the less he hears.

I took him to the shops without the wrist strap (which is referred to in our house as the lead Grin) and he ran off straight towards the road. I shouted three or four times and in the end I was foghorning his name. He was three steps into the road before he stopped.

So yes, I use a wrist strap.

poorbuthappy · 22/11/2010 07:42

Yep I am lazy and treat my girls like dogs too...

Or it could be because I have almost 2 year twins and it is very difficult to walk along the road with both of them. They are also quite teeny tiny so its not comfortable for us of them to hold hands for long periods of walking (which as we all know usually means 15 mins to get off the drive!)

Anyway when they do run around in the park etc, when I blow my whistle they always come back for a -doggy- -choc- chocolate button. Wink

poorbuthappy · 22/11/2010 07:43

ooops!
doggy choc

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 22/11/2010 08:00

people who like reins, use them, so what if people judge.

mind you i have developed a thick skin the hard way...DD is a very tall 4 year old who has SN and tends to run into road and can't understand 'no' so i have a baxkpack with wrist strap, had some students openly laughing anf saying I was trwating her like a dog the other week.

wish people would think, but it's water off a duck's back now tbh.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 22/11/2010 08:01

don't judge my awful typing though Blush

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 22/11/2010 08:02

It didn't occur to me to use them with DD but DS was a different matter. I used either reins or a wrist strap, held his hand but used them for back up if it went pear shaped. DD has dyspraxia and needed a lot of my concentration for her to walk down the road without bumping into a lamp post/person or falling off the pavement. Using reins on DS meant he got the exercise from walking, was taught road safety but I had a backup if things went wrong which they did on a couple of occasions. No brained in my opinion.

I'd much rather face a bit of hostility than have my child under a car. They are useful for some children for a short period of time when bolters are too young to be reasoned with. If people want to judge than so be it, i really didn't care then and wouldn't now if I was doing it again. At 7 there is nothing to mark DS out as a rein user and his road safety is now very good.

nikki1978 · 22/11/2010 08:15

She this really pisses me off. DS (who is nearly 4) is a little bugger and we have a bit of a power struggle every day even walking from the car to school and back as he runs off and tries to run into the road. Yes he does get disciplined but at the time he finds it funny and doesn't listen. It would be fine if I just have him but he is not an only child so it makes things very stressful. I was on here only last week asking for advice on how to teach him road safety so I could walk the kids to school and back and everyone gave the advice of reins to keep him in check (i.e. use them if he can't behave himself). I could use a buggy but I think he is too old and bet I would get judged for that as well!

So I am going to get a pair of reins today as my sons safety and teaching him to respect the road are far more important than the opinions of those up-their-own arse people who judge without knowing what it is like to be in others situations!

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