In wondering what's wrong with reins?

[beebuzzer]

Who uses them?
Who doesn't?

I do and I often get patted on the back for it by passing old ladies who "don't understand why they ever went out of fashion"
My mum used them on all of us. If I didn't use one my little one would be all over the shop and I am guessing holding my hand for any period of time would be quite uncomfortable for her. (she is only small)

I use them.

First used them when had DD and DS was just 2. They kept him from running off or onto the road. I still taught him about road safety, that he must stop at the road edge and hold my hand etc. He's now 3 and a half and very sensible.

I use them on DD now 21 months.

A small child cannot be trusted not to run onto the road IMO. All very well saying "They've got to learn" but sadly they and you would learn the hard way if a car happened to be passing.

reins are great for that walking - but not steady bit.

very useful.

as are playpens, stair gates and 5-point harnesses on chairs and car seats.

they are restraining - but thats the whole point.

i think maybe i should get 3 sets and a sledge....

I used reins for both of my Dcs. Dh is a bit dim Over hand holding and the poor LOs tend to be dragged along with their feet skimming the floor!
I also have to confess, we had a puppy when the dcs were small. I trained her to come to my whistle. Quite unintentionally, both dcs learned that mum whistles for attention.
So not only did I have kids on leads, they both came back when I whistled too!!!
I dont care what other nosy bastards people think of me. They were safe and comfortable.
And for the record, Rover and Fido have grown into perfectly healthy normal teenagers!

I wanted to use reins with my ds but he just sat down when I put them on him - he wasn't and isn't a stubborn child but for some reason he had a massive objection to reins. Thankfully he was more than happy to hold my hand.

We got some reins and used them briefly with DS. He's now 2.2 and wants to walk everywhere at the moment but thankfully he also seems to have suddenly grasped the concept of not running around in the street and that he has to hold hands all the time so we don't use the reins anymore (buggy is on hand for restraint where needed)).

I couldn't give a stuff what people might think, although I've never experienced any negative comments about reins other than from one friend who is very into her attachment parenting, etc, and refused to even use a buggy for her LO. Whilst my DS is really obedient in many ways, sometimes he just refuses to acknowledge the word 'no' and I'd rather not take the risk.

And to the person who made the lower middle class comment, all I can say is that no pram no reins and all that crap just shouts "lentil weaving hippy" to me so maybe it's better not to judge, hey?!

HAHA Saggy, can't believe you are admitting to that on here! Agree if you start using them early on they seem to adjust better.

I used reins on my DDs, having no car, living and shopping/socalising in a busy area. My girls were born within 19 months of wach other. My task was to keep them safe, not satisfy the snobbish requirements of someone judging me.

Bee the whistling thing was totally unintentional but really usefull when they are out of sight but still in earshot! I lost DS an his group briefly when helping on a trip to the British Museum. A quick blast later and they were all accounted for!

Oh no Galena they're different apparently

I think hand holding is worse - poor kid having their arm stretched up for a length of time?! Mean.

Random historical derail coming up...

Reins have a long history.

They are mentioned in the Old testament, in the Book of the prophet Hosea, who lived 800 years before Christ. He uses an image of God as an anxious father lovingly teaching the toddling child Israel to walk, and using reins to keep Israel close and away from danger.

' ?When Israel was a child, I loved him,
and out of Egypt I called my son.
2 But the more they were called,
the more they went away from me.[a]
They sacrificed to the Baals
and they burned incense to images.
3 It was I who taught Ephraim to walk,
taking them by the arms;
but they did not realize
it was I who healed them.
4 I led them with reins of human kindness,
with ties of love.
To them I was like one who lifts
a little child to the cheek,
and I bent down to feed them.

Hosea 11, vs 1-4.

anyway, carry on...:)

I never had any problems, no-one batted an eye lid, not even in Egypt, where these child safety things would have never been seen before. Mind you, car seats pretty much unheard of and deemed as ridiculously over protective anyway.

I didn't initially like the 'on a lead' aspect of them, but I was surrounded by freaks locals, and he could easily have come to harm, so it was the much lesser evil.

DS didn't use them that much tbh, I never used to go out pretty much anyway. He used them here in the UK mostly in the very early days, and many times I caught DS before he fell, so he gained strength and confidence while he learned to walk. I felt in the end that actually it gave him much more freedom, certainly in Egypt as the only real alternative was to carry him.

Reins don't work for every child. They do not harm the child, nor do they stifle him or her, why on earth would anyone feel the need to judge.

What business is it of anyone elses?

I never needed to use reins with my DS, as he very quickly grasped the concept of 'stop' and that he must not run off and he must hold my hands near roads. Now my Nephew is totally different. I would never take him out without reins and he is 3. His Mum has never taught him the concept of 'stop' or 'no'. He doesn't even like holding hands. When he is out with me, I have to have reins as he likes to think he can run off.

They have a place - it all depends on your child.

Nothing wrong with them unless you have children like mine who would never walk with them on. DS1 used to just sit on the floor and refuse to move and DS2 just turns round in circles trying to grap the straps .....nightmare

I have epilepsy so if I'm out and about with a walking pre-verbal toddler damn right they're on the reins. I even attach a wrist strap rein to the back of the 'lead' portion of the reins so that if I have a seizure then the toddler can't run off when I go down.

I had such bad nightmares/OCD issues over having a seizure when out with DD1 and her disappearing and no-one knowing where she'd gone. Now luckily the only seizure I've had whilst out with the DCs was when DD1 was 3 so over the bolting stage and DD2 was strapped in pushchair so all were safe.

When DD3 is over bum shuffling and walking she'll go on the reins too just like her sisters. I even have a twin set of reins in case of really bad behaviour/run tendancies though I've yet to use them.

I have had someone say DD1 looked like a dog and that she'll never learn to walk (as she was on the reins she was walking - I don't drag children down the road on their hands and knees ). Flipping idiots.

my reins are woven from purest organic fairtrade lentils I'll have you know.

aand they are rainbow coloured.

Haven't read thread but I love reins so cute esp the little old school ones.Some of the pics of my ds wearing his are my favourites The world has def gone mad if reins is something to get hot under the collar about

I think people that are judgers on reins all have reasons they wouldn't use them and don't have much empathy for others. People who wouldn't use them might drive everywhere door to door, have only one under 3 at a time or stuff their kid in the pushchair for every trip. These things make reins less common than they used to be because 30 years ago not so many people had cars or were willing to put older kids in prams.

Wrist straps, those animal rucksack things and reins are all the same, IMO nicer for the child then hand holding as at least they can wonder slightly away from you.

Reins in some form are not a totally new invention anyway, least not in this country I'm sure I've read in a few places about kids being tied to kitchen table legs so that they couldn't reach the oven whilst mum was cooking/out.

I can't bear anti-reins snobbery. There is fuck all wrong with them. If it works for you, use them.

Dh is 6'5" and has a bad back. For a time, he couldn't easily walk with the dds without using the reins - bending down to hold their hands hurt his back too much.

Oh and in spite of the reins, they still both learned the importance of not running into busy traffic

I had no idea there was so much controversy over using reins! My ds has just turned 1 and only walks a few steps at a time so atm goes everywhere in the pushchair but when hes a bit more confident with walking I'll definitely be using reins on him. Obviously I'll teach him road safety and not running off etc but little ones have such a short attention span and its so easy for them to get distracted and run off and I'd much rather get tutted at than have my ds run in front of a bus . Better safe than sorry imo. Thanks for the warning though mn, I'll get some witty comebacks prepared for the inevitable dog jokes!

reins = brilliant. love them, good for security, good for stopping them falling flat, good for letting DS explore a bit without having his arm wrenched; good for my back but very secondary to benefits for DS.

I taught him to hold my hand anyway, while on reins - but it meant that when he wriggled away, he couldn't go far. And then they were occasionally used as a deterrent - "hold my hand and walk nicely or you go on the reins". He holds my hand nicely now - he's 3 in a fortnight.

I don't follow the idea that reins and handholding are somehow exclusive - teach handholding while having the safety back up of the reins.

I also had a playpen, which was fantastic - all his toys kept in one place and he used the bars to cruise around happily; and stairgates at the top of both flights of stairs but not at the bottom. I have no cupboard locks either - DS has always been told No and he mostly leaves them alone.

So - not sure if I fit into the lentil-weaving yoghurt-smoking hippy or the uptight middle class mum there but the important thing is that I was happy with my choices and that DS has had only benefit from them.

And I think the comparison with dogs is ludicrous. Thankfully no one made it to me - if anything, I got more people commenting how good it was to see DS safely in reins.

Can remember when they were a complete no-no, far more than today, using them almost akin to cruelty. Then the horrible Jamie Bulger case happened and you suddenly saw them again & they were thought acceptable again.

Did consider them with dc2, a bolter, when walking dc1 to school amongst manic parental drivers.

I use reins the back pack type so I put the lead round my wrist and then hold DD hand. Yesterday in central london 2 people stopped me to say how fab the reins were and where did I get them! I have NEVER had anyone tut or bark! I have to say walking in central london with all the distractions of lights and crowds I was pleased to have them. It would only take a split second for DD to bolt (fast runner)and god knows what could have happened. It's easy enough for adults to lose each other let alone a child and I prefer her to walk than be stuck in a buggy.
To those who don't like them I have seen a child fall down an escalator when the child wriggled out of the mums hand and bolt!

The arguement that our children aren't animals is stupid.