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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be shocked at this families weed smoking?

31 replies

poppylongstocking · 21/11/2010 20:15

Ok, firstly I don't smoke weed, I have in the past, it's not something I really enjoyed but each to their own, I don't have a problem with it however a family we know (our kids are the same age) smoke weed around their kids. Their house constantly smells of weed & the mother confided in me she smoked everyday throught both her pregnancies as well as using it for pain relief in labour. I am pretty shocked by this, aibu?

OP posts:
PinkieMinx · 21/11/2010 20:18

Do you even have to ask!?! Do what you like to your own body but don't have children if you can't do what's right for them. Selfish cow.

lollipopshoes · 21/11/2010 20:19

YABU - unless you're a health professional involved with the family or a police officer about to do a drugs raid

Personally, I wouldn't smoke anything in front of my children and I dare say that you 'll get loads of people saying that they are abusing their kids and should have them taken off them, but the simple fact of the matter is that many people do choose to smoke in front of their children and to some extent it's their choice to make.

As I say, it's not for me or my children, but if that is the choice that they have made...

violethill · 21/11/2010 20:19

Yanbu , but tbh I don't understand why anyone smokes, full stop, especially around their children. It's not good for their health, it stinks, and increases the chances that they will become smokers too

Original poster
poppylongstocking · 21/11/2010 20:21

My parents smoked around me and my brother when we were young and I do think it had an effect on our behaviour

OP posts:
Original poster
poppylongstocking · 21/11/2010 20:22

Can I just add I'm talking about cannibis not tobacco

OP posts:
lollipopshoes · 21/11/2010 20:23

I think we all get that, poppy - but you have to smoke cannabis in a cigarette made of tobacco so there's the health implications of "normal" smoking to consider as well.

Can I just add, btw - that if you'd posted "AIBU to smoke weed in front of my children" I would have deffo answered YABU. I just think that what this family have chosen to do is up to them.

Daresay I'll get flamed, and I won't be around to see it because I'm only here for a sec, but that's the way I feel.

violethill · 21/11/2010 20:23

I don't understand why parents smoke tobacco around their kids either

whoknowswhatthefutureholds · 21/11/2010 20:25

Smoking when pregnant or around kids is pretty sad. Cannabis can cause low birth weight, adn premature birth (as can tobacco).

I think the effects of smoking dope around kids probably means you are less effective at parenting, so like my attitude towards drinking around kids, I think it is OK in small doses occassionally but if you getting totally stoned then it's not on.

MumNWLondon · 21/11/2010 20:32

Have to say I have never smoked weed, but less concerned about the pain relief in labour, as who is to say its worse than the medications the hospital give, but yes YANBU, although i hate to see people smoking tobacco around children.

Not sure that social services would care if you called though...

DuelingFanjo · 21/11/2010 20:34

I was wondering if it's any good for pain relief in labour!

Original poster
poppylongstocking · 21/11/2010 20:38

DuelingFanjo apparently so, although she said her DS was born very drowsy..

OP posts:
pinkthechaffinch · 21/11/2010 20:42

I bet he was.

redflag · 21/11/2010 20:59

I am totally against people smoking weed for any other reason apart from pain relief.

We actually have receptors in out brane to allow canibis to give us pain relif without bad side effect. Like we were desighned to use it for this perpose.

If somone has me or cancer or other forms of chronic pain, go for it, eat the stuff daily.

But smoking to get high, no!

The american government actually supplies a few citizens who are in cronic pain, a monthly delivery of canibis.

redflag · 21/11/2010 21:00

That was not supposed to post straight away so sorry for the spelling mistakes

thefirstMrsDeVere · 21/11/2010 21:09

If you think its ok to smoke when pg and round your kids I would love you to meet my DS.

His birth mum thought it was fine too.

He is in special school and has only just started to read at reception level. He is 7.
He has multiple issues to deal with.

I know this is anecdotal and MNs hates anecdotal but his birth mum smoked skunk throughout her pg.

Smoking fags is bad because of secondary smoking, smoking weed is bad because of secondary smoke, secondary intoxication and the fact that if you are off your nut you are unlikely to be on the ball.

Its become difficult to condem weed smoking without being accused of being hysterical.
I have seen the affects of it far too often whilst growing up and in family members.

Its shit (excuse the pun)

Serendippy · 21/11/2010 21:10

YANBU, aside from anything else it is illegal so should not be condoned. Tobacco in it will have an affect on the kids but as smoking is legal, not much to be done about that.

OmniaParatus · 21/11/2010 21:25

YANBU. A family member who has a child the same age as mine smokes weed daily, as does her DH. They smoke cigs in front of her but go into the bedroom to smoke weed- but they don't shut the door so I don't think it makes much difference!

I can't see how they can be bothered to play and look after their child when high. They also have mental health problems and I don't think smoking as heavily as they do can be helping them, so I don't think it can be good at all for their child.

I don't know what to do though as they will not acknowledge that it's a problem and say that it is all that calms them down Sad.

I suppose I am hypocritical as I have smoked it myself, but always when kids in bed and DH and I did it on alternate nights in case we were needed by the kids. I think this is very different to smoking when you are supposed to be looking after DC's but accept that not everyone would see a difference.

newwave · 21/11/2010 23:46

My kids are grown up and I dont smoke weed in front of them only becuase they would give me stick. Howver if i have an evening/afternoon at home alone of with DP I do like to mellow out with some good music and some blow :)

JebusBuiltMyHotQuads · 22/11/2010 00:54

"but you have to smoke cannabis in a cigarette made of tobacco"

Not if you are smoking a blunt Wink

discobeaver · 22/11/2010 12:52

It's not fine to smoke anything when you're pg, or around your kids. It's selfish.

redflag just curious why so anti smoking to get high, if it doesn't affect anyone else except the smoker - what moral objection do you have to a person getting stoned?

fayc84 · 22/11/2010 14:22

Cannabis is less harmful than tabacco and alcohol. I don't think smoking anything while pregnant or around children is right but I know people who grew up in homes where smoking weed was the norm and they turned out fine. Unless you know she is neglecting her children because she's constantly too stoned or her kids are notably affected by it then it's not that bad.

NordicPrincess · 22/11/2010 16:05

why is it not ok to get high? whats the problem with that?

I love how people say its ok to have a glass of wine to unwind and relax but not weed! There is no difference, few people who take drugs have never drunk, alcohol is the biggest gateway drug but there would be riots if we tried to ban that!

My parents smoked weed, they are normal people not drug addicted psychos.

Im all for people doing what they want in their own homes

wintersnow · 22/11/2010 16:58

NordicPrincess it's not people getting high that's the problem, that's it's their choice, it's the fact they are smoking around their kids so therfore their kids/unborn babies are inhaling it too. I wouldn't get pissed up during labour to help with the pain.

wintersnow · 22/11/2010 17:01

fayc84 I disagree, although I'm not a neurologist I know from personal experience. My parenst smoked around me and my brother all the time, I smoked from the age of 13 and it has definately affected me.