to want to tell DS's godfather to F$&K OFF...?

[Asteria]

I have just been told that I will be getting an eviction notice next week, so rather than wallowing in self pity I took DS out for the morning. We walked the dogs and chucked stones in the river (which was free - yay). Then his godfather tipped up (single, good job, own house etc etc) and bought us a cup of tea each. I mentioned that I was stressing about life/finances (also have BPD which adds a certain je ne sais quoi to life) and he instantly changed the subject then suggested lunch - which I had to pay for. He then suggested Harry Potter (we were in a cinema/restaurant/gallery place) which DS instantly went loopy over and I was again backed into a corner of having to cough up for. I hate constantly saying no to DS and I hadn't eaten anything at lunch so justified the tickets that way - but it has left me with less than £30 till next weekend. I am furious with DS's godfather - not least because he promised DS a big birthday pressie to make up for missing the last 5 and two months later still hasn't bothered. I am really against promising something to a child then not going through with it.

Anyone that shirks their food bill at meals out is the lowest of the low, whatever their circumstances. Which is why the OP didn't eat. Christ, I'm really shocked at the hard time she's got on this thread :(

He has been in my life for years now - we had a brief 3 week snogathon at 16 and were in the same group of friends. When I moved back after having DS he was brilliant to me (DS's father was a violent alcoholic and GF let me stay with him when I needed somewhere ExP wouldn't try to find us). He is also one of my little bro's best friends so its hard to sever contact.

Being a single parent is lonely enough at the best of times in the area that I live in - so I do tend to cling onto the few friends - however loosely that term may be used.

Bugger.

Sorry, op.

Right - ds had a good time, yes? Focus on that.

Do you have food in the house? How can we help? Can your little brother help???

This sitation sucks arse..Asteria we are here for you..

JenaiMarr I have a chicken carcass (it was on offer - with the meat on obviously!) that I'm going to boil up and make into soup and risotto - which will probably last us about 4 days. I can usually spin a chicken out with veg to last the two of us for 4-5 days!

As for the roof issue - they haven't served the notice yet - have just sent a letter to my mother who is the guarantor (sp?) saying that they are about to. I have a personal injury settlement hopefully arriving by the end of the month (white van man wrote off my car in August and I was unable to move for 5 weeks) so I will try and borrow some money against that.

WindnRain do you know much about BPD? That is a whole other mess that I'm trying to get to the bottom of! My CPN buggered off on a course a fortnight after diagnosing (july)and I haven't had any help with it since. Could you pm me if you have any gems on that one please?

You poor thing.

He is your DS GF and he has missed his last 4 birthdays'

He expected you to pay for lunch? People were saying YABU on this thread?

My face is like this

You need to cut him off ponto. He sounds like a fucking dick.

situation dammit!

Asteria I think you've had a hard time unfairly on this thread. I honestly don't think you could have done anything differently. It's easy to look back and see how you could have gotten out of a situation, but at the time you got railroaded.

Put this one down to experience. Your son had a good day, so focus on that and keep your distance from the 'friend' who can treat you so badly.

karmabeliever thank you - let's just say that he won't be getting a Christmas Card this year!

I cant see any bashing posts myself , and while this " freind " sounds like anything but , he hasnt made you pay for cinema tickets , you chose to , knowing you had very little money .The lunch thing i agree was unforseeable and a bit of a rotton trick , but to then go to the pictures then be living of a chicken for the rest of the week is a little irresponsible.

he queued up with us in the cinema reception full of excitement with DS at watching the film, then suddenly took DS to look at the posters when we got to the till. I couldn't really make a big public scene at that point. I perhaps should have - but there was no point in punishing my, by then hideously over excited, DS but storming out to make a point.

He really is a tit, isn't he.

You sound resourceful. Good stuff.

Ummm, there's a stupidly good offer on pork at morrisons if you tire of a thousand and one ways with a chicken

Will check in on this thread tomorrow.

Have a hug, too.

He did WHAT?

Oh Asteria he is a Twunt of the highest order!

dignified its easy to judge after the fact OP was rail-roaded into the situation and I for one cannot say this has not happened to me in the past...better to be sympathetic than judgemental...

YANBU, you never were tbh, but I do want you to find a way to make sure that you do not let this kind of thing happen again.

Ok so this next week will be tough, but whenever you are low and pissed off about it, remember that you were kind of manipulated into this by a real prize prick of a man.

Let this be the turning point, never, ever again will you let someone tell you how to spend your money, never ever allow them to scam you like this.

Get angry, take charge and keep control.

I can see this will never happen again to OP its not her style...but everyone gets caught out and to say she was irresponsible...well i think she knows this..but its not the end of the world..giving her support is what counts

You really were railroaded werent you?

I am almost sure I would have ended up doing the same as you then being devestated about it afterwards

Do email him and explain- that way you can reword it a few times and not send something too angry, but you do need to get that money back- this just isnt on

can you just say no and stick with it next time. Or say yes but only if you pay!

Mumcentreplus , im not being any more judgemental than anyone else . This sort of thing has happened to most of us , me included , but agreeing to go to the pictures after already being scammed for his lunch wasnt the best idea , and while he was being a dick , the op has a responsibility to her son and to herself , and is now left short of money.

It might be best to focus on how to make sure this sort of thing doesnt happen again instead of blaming the bloke.

thanks for the support - feeling a million times better about it all - watching Any Human Heart and writing lists of things to put into action this week to get everything back on track.

Dignified - I am focusing on how to avoid this sort of thing reoccuring, but I don't think that it is unreasonable for me to be royally hacked off. I try to see the good in people, which is probably why it happened. But I would rather see the good than search for the bad.

The point is it's obvious she feels bad dignified and yes she's left short of money but she will survive no point reminding her either...