to be really annoyed with this woman in the Guardian?

[hatwoman]

the blind date woman - said that her date should have offered to pay for her taxi. grrrr. bloody whipper snappers (she was 24-ish) undoing the hard work of so many others.

Yes I do and yes my dh did pay. No I dont carry a pomander either but dont like doors being shut in my face by a date very off putting.

I used to go out with a bloke who, when there were a few of us sharing a minicab and he was in the front (ie the hot) seat, used to get the driver to lock all the doors till he had collected the full and fair contribution from all passengers. Including me

OOh springheeled very off putting tight wad would not get past the first date imo.

Whilst I think she has a horrid grabby / entitled attitude wrt the cab, I have to partly agree with pigletmania here - I like it if a guy offers to pay for the meal on a first date.

Of course, practicalities should be taken into account, e.g. when we were all students and broke, you'd pay your share. However, in adult dating life and if I know we earn equal salaries, I prefer it if the guy pays for at least the first date. I also like good manners, e.g. opening a door, letting her walk first etc.

I think good manners and equal rights get confused (re door, not paying). I do believe I can achieve anything I want, my husband probably believes that even more than I do, yet he would still do these things to show he cares. It's like getting flowers: Of course I can buy my own - hell, I might even pick prettier ones at times, but it's kind of nice being spoilt sometimes. I do other things to spoil him (and always did for other boyfriends), and pay my way in other ways, e.g. childcare, odd weekend away, some bills, etc.

What I know for certain though is this: I am very glad I'm not a guy on the dating scene now. You just can't win - what will work on one will seriously offend another. I think the majority of (young?) women prefer to pay for their share of a first date though, and if I were a man and had to take someone out, I'd probably share the bill just to be safe.

go out with mates don't expect they pay.why should man pay because its a date?

I totally agree MisSalLaneous, I could not have put it better, Its nothing to do with equal rights, or doing it yourself. i could cook dinner myself, but its special if my dh does it sometimes. Its the little things that shows that he cares and is not selfish.

You are not going out on a date with your mates, its totally different.

why expect a man pay?are you a product to be bought?does flashing cash make man better date. i find it bit repugnant that expectation of man pay on dates

Nothing of the sort scotishmummy. I think we have to beg to differ, I dont see it the way you do.

That is different stayfrosty it is a bit

equating thoughtfulness with cash spent is folly. this notion of date,meal man pay is flawed foolish and graspy

I wouldent insist that the man pays for the date, and would insist that i pay my way, but if he does not take no for an answer than i will be happy to let him pay.

it would leave a nice feeling though that he had paid. So then gifts given to you by the man too are graspy and foolish then, as they equate to money . So if a man give a gift on a date it should be given back as its graspy and rude . its rude really to not accept the gift in good grace and to make a big fuss.

you get nice feeling when someone else pays?materialistic.big time

tell me does this extend to female friends and family.do you feel fuzzy they pay- or just men

I think whoever asks the other out should pay, otherwise might lead to awkwardness? You might ask someone out to somewhere they can't afford and they might decline without having the courage to say it's because of finances. Conversely, you might ask someone out to somewhere really cheap so as not to overreach them financially and they might think you just have rubbish taste and they probably wouldn't get on with you. Nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out though. Dating is a minefield these days IMO Things were easier when it was all down to the man, sexist, but more straightforward. Everyone knew exactly what was expected of them. I feel sorry for men these days, they never know whether a new lady friend is going to be offended that she ISN'T offered any of the old fashioned social niceties, or abusive because she IS! I wouldn't be a man in the dating game today for all the tea in China!

Can somebody link to what we are talking about please?

read the thread.keep up

I've tried

Honestly. I've looked but can't see the OP's link.

We don't all read the Gradian, scottishmummy. I haven't actually read the original article. Frankly I'm just amusing myself while I wait for a poster on another thread to message me back. She's in a pretty bad way and I'm worried about her. This seemed like an interesting thread, but a link would help if it can be provided?

not read guardian either,but if on thread do familiarise self with v recent jist.rather than wassssup.

Well I do know that it seems to be about a woman expecting a man to pay for her taxi after a blind date that was fixed through the newspaper and that the talk has turned generally to whether or not a man should be expected/offer to pay on a first date. If someone wants to know exactly what the original newspaper article was about it seems a pretty reasonable request, particularly as it was very politely put, no?