to hate truely clean tidy houses!

[lisad123isgoingcrazy]

My "friend" teased me today about my house always being cluttered I have 2 young children and a dog and my house is neither dirty or untidy, just lived it!
I have toys, paperwork and books around the house.

Her house is always spotless and everything has its place.

Drives me mad

I mean, you hear the parents say they allow messy stuff, but the kids tell you a whole different picture

YABU (although I know where you are coming from). I would love the spotless house that my sister keeps, but cannot bothered to spend the time that she spends on achieving this.

Each to their own.

Motherfunsters Handy tips.

Put large amount of dirty washing in Duvet cover.
Spray with fabreaze.
Fashon into shape of chair.

(Was once asked if I baught the washing chair from ikea.)

4.Paint floor a very dark colour.

5.Become a artist, this is a realy good excuse as to why your home looks like a whales dirty bum hole.Art = giant piles of dishes.
Or even turn the dirt into art..

6.Invite your OCD mate to stay and see how long it takes her to crack and tidy up.(Have borderline aspi male counterpart for DIY issues)

8.Move house if it gets too bad.

'8.Move house if it gets too bad.'

Ha! I said to the kids once, 'what are we going to do about this house?' The answer, in all seriousness was 'I think it's time to move Mummy and leave it all here' :)

Litchick - sorry, but uber-tidy-home does not mean the children aren't allowed to have fun/make a mess/do stuff - enjoy & be creative. That's simply an excuse that people who can't be arsed to tidy up use.

If people are happy living in a slightly messy/total mess/complete tip then fine - I don't care and am happy to visit - do what you like in your own house but don't make negative judgements on me (sidge, lequeen, penny etc) because it makes you feel better - that we are 'less than' because we don't.

I have a friend whose house is a 'shit-tip' (for want of a better phrase, love her to bits and spend lots of time there), but it's her mess (total hoarder!!) - her kids aren't allowed to do messy things (paint/create/build lego/have train sets out) as it's too 'messy' (has me bent over! They love coming here! They are allowed all of the messy stuff (paint, play doh, fort building etc) and there is room to do it!!).

Sod the kids creativaty what about mine, cant work from a studio away from home, no child care.Got to use all my spare time to create, so housework like ironing looks like a enormis waste of time.Im not proude of my house keeping, but Im proude of what Iv acheved because I let go of what has no point, i.e ironing.

You cant control everything.But you can make things.

I try and keep one room vistable.And stay on the right side of safe.I dont look down on people who have tidy houses, thats there thing.But why do they look down on my lifestyle and ingnor my achevements?

'Andy warhole..messy basturd!, that vincent van he never did the dishes..PIG!But then Im a woman with kids and that is the sad messure that is used.

A realy tidy house is empty.

Motherfunster

A realy tidy house is empty

What was that you were saying about not looking down on people who have tidy houses?? Bit of a contradiction there!

LeQ - yep - always makes me smile when people think the kids are so stiffled... yeah, it's terrible knowing where to find things and having the room to play with them - simply awful

chipping - I don't say any of this to make myself feel better, as you put it.

My house is not a shit tip either, becuase I have daily help. So I don't say any of this because I'm defensive.

I just believe that creativity = mess.

And I'd much rather go to someone's messy family home (understanding that they can't afford the help I can) than an uber tidy house where I know children are not really free to create.

And as lequeen has said, she did actively outsource most of the messy stuff. At least that's honest.
Most people are not.

Oh and while we're on it, colouring and tea parties does not creativity make.

Nor does project work at nursery.

YABU

I cannot bear messy houses. To me lived in = hovel.

Mind you I am very anal as I grew up in a tip - have reacted against that in a big way. Everything is put away and everything is clean. It doesn't make me anal.

Litchick - are you done calling me a liar yet?

creativity = mess

mess + tidying up = tidy house!

Not too difficult a concept.

& how lovely of you to be 'understanding' that they 'can't afford the help you can'...

It is perfectly possible to have a tidy house & very messy & creative children if you want to.

I suppose we all do what makes us feel comfortable.
For some a tidy house really matters.
For others, like me, creativity, really matters ( I'm a writer, DH as well as being a lawyer is a musician, DD is extremely artistic, DS loves photograpgy, everyone plays instruments, we all love cooking...etc..).

To be honest it's what makes us tick.

So obviously I really value it.

Didn't call you anything my friend. Not my style.

Though I do recall you saying I was saying things to make myself feel better.

Heck I have no problem with my children wanting to get creative (aka make a hell of a mess) but I admit to groaning inside at the prospect of having to clean up glue, glitter, hundreds of bits of teeny tiny cut up pieces of paper...

I gladly let them do it, but as soon as they're finished making a mess creating wondrous works of art I get the hoover out!!

I really couldn't do what my friend does and leave it all on the table "because they'll only want to do it again next Saturday". If I did that we'd have nowhere to eat!

I guess it depends as well on what you view as creative.

For me and all the artists/writers/musicians I know it's an organic ongoing process.

You don't do it for a bit. Clean up. Then do somehting else. Clean up.

So when I'm brainstorming a new book or play, I have all my notes around me. Resource books open. Perhaps cuttings, photocopied pictures. Maybe a mood board. It's an ongoing, living process.

Similarly, if DD wants to model (heavily into clay at the mo) she won't be finished in an hour and away everything goes. It could take a week. Then it will be fired. Then it will need to be painted etc.

And I love going to people's houses where that sort of thing is going on. It makes my heart warm. Much more than a tidy house.

Litchick - what I said was this If people are happy living in a slightly messy/total mess/complete tip then fine - I don't care and am happy to visit - do what you like in your own house but don't make negative judgements on me (sidge, lequeen, penny etc) because it makes you feel better - that we are 'less than' because we don't and it wasn't actually directed at you.

You said ^At least that's honest.
Most people are not^ implying I was lying.

For some a tidy house really matters

For others, like me, creativity, really matters ( I'm a writer, DH as well as being a lawyer is a musician, DD is extremely artistic, DS loves photograpgy, everyone plays instruments, we all love cooking...etc..)

The two are not mutually exclusive. If you chose not to tidy up after you have done something that's up to you - but that doesn't mean you are any more 'creative/musical/talented' than anyone else - it simply means you can't be arsed tidying up - so I'm not sure why you feel so superior?

Sure - lequeen. That sounds much like our gaff. But it is only possible to contain the artwork/models/seedlings/photographs/notes/mood boards etc if you have designated studios and playrooms, family rooms etc.

Other people do it in their kitchen and living rooms. The models are on window sills. The seedlings are on the kitchen surfaces. Perhaps things are drying in the bathroom. So people see it. But that's okay. I'd rather see the mess, than there be none, if you see what I mean.

chipping - I don't think you and I understand creativity to be the same thing so we will never come to terms on this.

As I say, for me it's an ongoing, organic process that you don't stick away after an hour. A book takes me a year to write, afterall. It can take DH many months to compose soemthing new.

I try to imbue this spirit in my children.

And it's easy for me to do this and it not impact upon the tidyness of our house.
I am stupidly lucky and I r3ecognise that fact.
If others don't have the space or the help, I'd rather see the mess of ongoing creativity is what I'm saying. I'd rather see it than they tidy it up.

Tidy people - how do you do it?? We live in a big flat - three bedrooms, separate living room, dining room, kitchen and living room. There's a lot of space. Have one DS (13 months).

But there's so much clutter! I get stressed as it's mostly me but I don't have a system or places for things.

DH doesn't help as he's a bit of a hoarder although chucks other stuff/tidied so I can't find anything - meaning I'll keep stuff out in view in case he hides it!!

Argh, I'd love to be more tidy but don't know where to start

Litchick - there's a big difference between an on-going older child/adult project than the kind of creativity everyone else is talking about - small child mayhem - finger painting/den building/lego/play doh etc.

There's also a big difference between x project I am working on (even if it's not daily etc) and w, x, y, z projects I have started on and haven't touched in months...

Your original post was this....

I think uber tidy homes where children are clearly not free to enjoy themselves or express themselves are not family homes

We have children who come to our home who are not allowed to paint or do crafts at home

but now you are arguing a different point entirely (adults writing books).