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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate truely clean tidy houses!

199 replies

lisad123isgoingcrazy · 19/11/2010 22:27

My "friend" teased me today about my house always being cluttered Angry I have 2 young children and a dog and my house is neither dirty or untidy, just lived it!
I have toys, paperwork and books around the house.

Her house is always spotless and everything has its place.

Drives me mad

OP posts:
collision · 20/11/2010 12:31

I do try but feel overwhelmed and weepy today.

House is a tip.

Feenie · 20/11/2010 12:32

I grew up in a house like this. Mine is clean but usually cluttered and untidy - I don't care, working and being a mum takes up all my time and is more important.

My mum, sister and Nanna all keep their houses scrupulously clean and tidy. My Nanna has just announced that now she is 85 yrs old, she is only going to clean the bedrooms once a week on Saturdays, instead of on Mondays and Wednesdays Hmm. And I know she means pulling out all the beds and cleaning under them, etc!

NoelEdmondshair · 20/11/2010 12:35

"kids are only allowed in certain rooms"

but it's their home!

Georgimama · 20/11/2010 12:35

Some people's idea of "homely and lived in" is my idea of "health hazard".

My house is very tidy and I like it that way; I do not however obsessively wipe surfaces, nor do I make guests feel uncomfortable. I would never dream of asking someone to take their shoes off (actually I can remember the "shoes off or on rule" thread that spawned internecine wars about three years ago so let's not go down that particular avenue).

traceybath · 20/11/2010 12:37

Beenbeta - children only allowed in certain rooms really?

I love a neat and tidy house but its hard to achieve. Would much rather people thought my house was welcoming.

TheMeow · 20/11/2010 12:40

Part of me would like a perfectly tidy, uncluttered house but then the reason my house isn't like this is because of all the stuff dh and I have.

Even when it is tidy it still looks cluttered because of all the books, dvds, toys, oh and stamps...dh collects them in a way that means they cover almost every table in the house and fill the spare room and also ds's room because he's not using it at the moment as he's in our room.

I like all our stuff but I could do without the stamps to be honest...

BeenBeta · 20/11/2010 12:50

Our children have a play room, a work room, a bedroom (with ensuite) and they eat in the kitchen with us.

They are not deprived and really have no need to go in the rest of the house.

My top tip for keeping a clean house is containing kids mess in as small a space as possible and training them to tidy up after themselves.

Georgimama · 20/11/2010 12:51

We had a massive stuff cull a while ago, and turned the (not much used) dining room into a playroom complete with child friendly storage (thank you Ikea). DS is allowed to play wherever he wants to in the house, and does, but his toys books and games all have somewhere to live which helps a lot.

Imarriedafrog · 20/11/2010 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SmileyPeeple · 20/11/2010 12:53

I always feel like I'm in a constant battle with our house and our 'stuff.'

The house is always relatively tidy, but often teetering on the cusp of chaos before I save it.

I'm in awe of people who seem to do this effortlessly without ever getting near the chaos stage, but when I've analysed how the do it it seems you have to constantly be tidying and organising in a low level way to maintain the tidiness.

I'm never going to do this, I like a tidy house but I have other stuff to do. Like read and chat and buy stuff on the internet which was recommended on MN.

So I've learned to live with 'relatively' tidy.

Georgimama · 20/11/2010 12:56

Our house is not tidy every second of the day - DS spreads a trail of toys wherever he goes - but I find it more relaxing if at the end of the day we have a quick scoot round having a five minute blitz to put everything away. It isn't constant by any means.

SmileyPeeple · 20/11/2010 12:59

Beta 'a work room'?? what do they do in there make matchesGrin?

I'm sure they're not deprived, but it does seem a little unhomely to limit the rooms they can go in.

Are they very little? at that destructive stage? Then I guess it make sense. Actually, we need keep them out of the front room when toddlers but the are 7 and 10 now and those days are long gone.

Mr friend doens't allow her Dc's in her bedroom, sitting room or dining room unless supervised, seems at bit sad or cold to me.

BeenBeta · 20/11/2010 13:03

I sometimes read threads about a DH coming home and getting upset with the mess and clutter and arguing with his DW because she hasnt tidied while at home all day with the DCs. I feel sorry for both sides.

The trick I think is to keep part of the house tidy where the adults relax and sleep even if the other bit is messy. It is hard to keep a house tidy with DCs but also horrible to come home after a hard day to find a house in a complete mess and have to start tidying up.

We always clean our house really well before we go on holiday so its nice and welcoming when we get home.

purpleduck · 20/11/2010 13:05

"kids are only allowed in certain rooms"
Agree with Noel - its their home too!!
But whatever - your house, your rules ;)

I reckon as long as my house is clean enough . Not a health hazard, but its ok, to have some clutter. I tend to have baskets etc to contain the clutter. Its funky clutter ;)

When I'm 90 I'm pretty sure I won't be pissed at myself for not dusting more. :)

NorbertDentressangle · 20/11/2010 13:06

There's "clean and tidy" and there's "characterless, anally clean and tidy".

I really dislike the latter. They are the sort of houses that you go to and there's no signs of anyone living there, no sense of what the occupiers are like. All very sterile and show-home like (and, dare I say it, the occupiers of these sorts of homes are often a bit dull too Shock)

classydiva · 20/11/2010 13:07

I have a dog and a 17 year old, my house is always tidy, cannot abide clutter or dirt.

My son detests it too, yet the eldest of 22 lives in a pig sty clothes everywhere, dirty glasses on every surface.

I think it depends on what you feel comfortable in, Im not a believer in there is never enough time that's just a pitifull excuse.

I held down a 12 hour day job with two dudes of 7 and 2 and my house was still always spotless.

motherinferior · 20/11/2010 13:09

I can't be arsed, frankly, to live in a House of Loveliness.

My children are 'allowed' in absolutely every room in the Inferiority Complex, and I like it that way. I would absolutely hate not to be able to give them a cuddle in our bed, or snuggle up in the admittedly not spotless living room watching Strictly.

alemci · 20/11/2010 13:23

my house is clean but there is clutter in places. The kids rooms get messy but my lounge is always clean.

I would love a showhome but it aint' going to happen.

I hoovered today then my son came in and got mud on the carpet.

piscesmoon · 20/11/2010 13:29

I like it clean but I prefer it to be lived in with clutter. If you have to ask people to remove their shoes it is unfriendly.

ItsJustMyOpinion · 20/11/2010 13:39

YANBU my house is a mess, I have a 2 yr old, a dog and a husband! Although strangely, my DH is more tidy than me Grin I always feel uncomfortable in houses that are spotless. But I find generally, those houses belong to friends/family of ours who don't have children, or their children have all grown up and left home.

As I always say to visitors, "excuse the mess, but my house is clean just looks lived in"

We always tidy up one DD has gone to bed though, no point in doing it whilst she playing.

BonniePrinceBilly · 20/11/2010 13:46

Your kids are not allowed in your living room? Wow, just wow. Well whatever works for you.

my house is never going to be both clean and tidy at the same time, you'll have to pick one. but it is one of the smallest houses known to man, with 5 people in it ...

Housemum · 20/11/2010 13:50

I think it's a gene you either have or haven't got. Our house is tidy enough, no bulging cupboards or piles of paperwork, but it never looks like one of those homes on TV. Perhaps it's because they go into one place and buy everything that matches, whereas my stuff has accumulated over the years. Actually, although I wish I could do that kind of interior design effect, it does look very soul-less.

I do have a little plaque on the back of my front door that usually makes people smile, "My house was tidy yesterday, sorry you missed it"

saorachd · 20/11/2010 13:55

My hoover has blown up. I was all inspired by this thread and tried to make order from the chaos but some lights and the hoover blew. It is probably linked to the mood I'm in.

chipmonkey · 20/11/2010 14:00

Oh I would love a very clean and tidy house, it's a dream I aspire to!

The only tidy room in our house is my office which is the only room the children are not allowed in so maybe BeenBeta is on to something there.

A lot of the mess is down to me ( not dh) being too lax a parent and not enforcing the rules.

MonkeySee · 20/11/2010 14:04

Spotless homes make me think, maybe unfairly, that nobody actually does anything in them, other than clean continually. But I do like a clean, tidy, warm home. Which is what I have. We can have people round with no notice, anytime.

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