to be most aggrieved that I did not get married off in the last IPOAT thread? Won't someone think of Nigel?

[BeribbonedGibbon]

Well, am I?

Is that to stop the help falling over when they carry you to church?

Grits is (are?) vile, flavourless, lumpy porridge-like substance.

However, if you come to me hungry, you know I'm going to fill you full of grits. If it's loving you're after I'll kiss you and give you the shivering fits.

If grits is something to do with gristly penises, perhaps hunger and loving could be dealt with in one go?

Ahem.

Fiddle-dee-dee.

Penis.

ROFL at Pag McKeith.

No, no missey Pag. do not adjust your knickers yourself, you have a knicker maid for that.

Has no one noticed ah'm no longer Mammy? Ah'm reborn as Hullabelle-Gullabelle, purtiest gal in the west I mean south. Map readin' weren't never my strongest of points.
But I have a finer turned ankle than any gal south of the mason-dixon.

Oestro-gin, something similar to maiden juice?

Mah family's fortune was founded on Maiden Juice. Mah grandmother, may the Lord rock her tenderly in his soft yet manly and sorely troubled arms, was renowned throughout the Carolinas for the exceptional qualities of her feminine liquids. Indeed, General Sherman himself quailed at the very idea of my grandmother's efflourescences comin' anywhere near his troops.

My grandmother is wearing tangerine

Aaah think you'll faaahnd that's MAIDEN JUICE.

Gin and JUICE anyone? It's got more of a kick than a mint julep.

Oh! Whom do I espy trotting down the extremely long and shaded with trees drooping under the weight of Spanish Moss avenue?

Why, Tis General Lee, Robert E, I do declare that man haunts me, a-beggin' and a-beggin' to fill my dance card.

God bless the south. Toasts in oestro gin.
Am off to Graceland. Ah hear'tis foretole of a comin' hero to save our souls.

And if it isn't Stonewall right behind him! Ah sure do hope there ain't gonna be another unseemly yet rich in sweat and masculine activity duel over little old me!

Ah do so hope you gentlemen will be attendin' this evenin's ball as hosted by Daddy Upthread?

Well all right then. But you should be a little careful, Lenin-LulaMae, you don't want to get yourself a reputation as a wit. No gentleman likes a wit in a wife.

There's a troup of desolate war torn soldiers on the way up the drive for some home comforts

Steady on Driven my dear, 'tis a boy band ( buglars clearly)and we all know about them.
We must think of your reputation.