How long is too long in the loo?

[lavenderbongo]

My DH and I have just had this discussion and I would like to canvass peoples opinions on this issue.

DH is very regular and spends 30-45min in the loo every evening. This annoys me beyond belief as its eating in to our only time together during the day. He takes stuff to read and even his laptop in sometimes. I just don't understand why it takes so long. Surely 45 minutes is over the top. I am lucky if I get 5 minutes in there before one of the kids interrupts.

So what do people think is 45 minutes too long?

My DH does this too.. Not for quite as long, but a good 20-30 mins.
he swears he is just using the loo (and not up to anything else) and that it just takes that long.

I'm sure he's not doing 'the business' for 45 minutes every day. I guess it's just part of his 'wind down' routine. Perhaps talk to him about it and see if you can agree that he can have 45 minutes downstairs reading/on his laptop while you have a long soak in the bath, but then you'll both be ready to share time together. (obviously don't let him have 5 mins in the loo first, let him wait )

Of course it's too long! He is having you on.

If it genuinely takes that long, he needs to get himself to the GP! Suggest that to him. Tell him you are worried and think that the GP might need a stool sample to check he is ok.

it's annoying for you but there isn't much you can do about it I'm afraid.

If it takes 45 mins then thats it.

If it's any consolation, whenever we are getting ready to go out and I have to get 3 children to

put socks on
find shoes
put shoes on
gather belongings
lock up house
get coats on
find gloves
find car keys
ad infinum (you get the picture)

it's always during this time that my dh decides to have a 20 minute poo!

If I took a book or laptop in I could easily spend 45 mins in there. It doesn't bother me how long DH takes in the loo just so long as I don't have to clean anything up afterwards!!

Just re read that and it looks like he squats on the floor or something!! He doesn't just a really annoying poo and view loo!!

I take 3 mins tops. 45 mins is stupid. DH has been known to take 20 mins....why??? He is always 5/10 min +.

I think that the time a person takes in the loo is non negotiable really. It's private time and up to them. Unless it's the only one and others are banging on the door to get in.

It's their 'me' time. Many, many men - bizarrely - like to grab a bit of selfish peace and quiet in the crapper. Sensory overload is only an auditory/visual thing for them and the nasal assault does not affect them. This is man science.

I think you right that it is part of his wind down routine - but its bloody annoying!

I hope he cleans the lap top after. Eeew.

45 minutes is really taking the piss.

Love the "man science"
Glad to see my DH is not the only one to do this.

I removed all of the magazines and put a book called 'Puppetry of the Penis' in there. Cuts down his time significantly.

If I am having an attack (lactose intolerant) I can easily be in the bathroom for up to an hour. I have a stack of books just outside the door for this very reason.

It's definitely a man thing. I'm in and out in a couple of minutes for a number 2, but DP will announce cheerfully that he's 'going to see an old friend off to the coast', then pick up the sport section of the papers and vanish for ages.

Not as bad as his dad though, who used to borrow DP (then 9)'s Tetris console and lock himself in the only loo in the house for hours.

OMG why do men do this? I have never understood when people take a book or a magazine into the loo - it has always repuslsed me slightly actually. No books or mags in my bathroom, ever (unless in the bath). I take about 2 mins and dp takes a lot longer and makes a lot more smell - why? We have both questioned this.

45 minutes - the cheeky beggar!

No DH in the house - but DS2 (nearly 7) always spends at least 10-15 minutes

I wonder if its that he feels like he needs to poo to a routine rather than just do it when it needs to come. A lot of people don't like to do it at work or whatever. I have to say, it would bug the hell out of me!

never had understood this

would rather climb into the washing machine for 'me' time than the loo

and business cant take more than three minutes

45 mins is a long time.

DH always takes ages too though. I don't understand it. I'm sure he will turn himself inside out one day.

Seriously though, I don't believe any man needs 45 mins to take a dump. I have a sneaky suspicion that they are reading porn and having a tug.

I think men do take longer for some reason, I've seen this in my DCs as well;

• DD gets on, gets done, gets off.
• DS at least 10 minutes of "not finished yet Mummy!"

45 minutes is ridiculous though! He must have an imprint of the bog seat on his arse after that long!?

My dad used to do this when I was growning up. One very small loo - and he used to sit there and smoke. I can remember the smell as if it was yesterday!

He used to smoke cigarettes, obviously. I don't mean he had an incendiary bottom.

What is it with men???

Greentig - definitely think that you've got at least part of it with the routine thing. Dh has three regular times 'reading' - morning, 6pm and last thing at night. Often 20 - 30 mins. At the weekend it can be more often and longer.

Surprise, surprise, the morning one is, clearly, in the getting ds ready for school time. The 6pm one gets him out of bathtime. Although these times were established pre-ds. I blame his parents.

Baby books are good too...

my dp does indeed have an imprint of the toilet seat on his arse after having a poo. Its still tehre when he gets changed to go to bed. He can eaily be half an hour or more and it drives me mad. I think its his me time. Wheres my me time? and if I was having me time it wouldnt be on the toilet!