To have left my dd home alone for a short while?

[Dancergirl]

Went to pick dd1 up from ballet this evening. Got dd3 (3.5) all ready to go but dd2 (nearly 8) was ensconced in reading in her room and didn't want to go out again.

So....after weighing up any risks, I decided to leave her alone for a 25-min round trip. But one of the mums at ballet said she would have never left hers alone at that age. I actually feel a bit guilty now....but she's sensible, would never open the door and in the minute risk of there being a fire she would run out and go to a neighbour.

So, would you leave a nearly 8 year old alone for 25 mins?

DS is nearly 7 and hasn't been left on his own yet, but I am considering starting to build up to it. Need to do some work on phone use but I am generally happy that he would be all right.

I have 8 yr old DTs and have just started leaving them for 20 mins or so to drop off other child etc.
They do have the fear of god put into them of course.
Am seriously out of kilter with most of you on this one I think.

My ds is 10 and I have just started the process, building up from 15-20 mins while I nip to the post office etc

for me personally, I am more comfortable with 10 yo

no reason for that nice round number, just me, and that is all I need to know

I wouldn't and if she goes to school and starts telling teh other kids mum left her home alone, and they tell their parents, do you really want social services on your door step?

It's done now but wouldn't do it again.

I don't why people are so frightened of social services-I have never had them on my doorstep and if they were I should tell them exactly why I had left my 8yr old and they can question them about whether they were happy or not, what they would do in an emergency, who they could contact for help, how long the person would take to get to them, what rules mother had left in place. If anything further came of it I should raise a stink with my MP and the local paper about people wrapping their DC in cotton wool and stunting their emotional development.
I do not take risks with my DCs-I do the sensible thing and I don't turn them out at 18yrs unable to use public transport, the washing machine,cook a full 2 course meal,babysit, stay in the house alone at night etc etc. They don't suddenly gain all this-you start early. (and rocketbird's post was bonkers-it has to be age appropriate)

It wouldn't be a secret classydiva-they could tell whoever they liked. I doubt if they would as it is unremarkable.

I often leave dd2 - nearly 9 at home with dd1 - 11 while I collect DH from the station. It's a 20 min round trip. I do however take ds who is almost 8. The two dd's know what to do, how to use the phone, not to answer the door etc. We have a lovely neighbour next door.

DS is not impressed that I take him and leave the girls and tbh he's very sensible, so I probably could leave him but it just sounds wrong to leave a 7 year old. Daft really because what difference will the two month between him being 7 and 8.

I wish there were some official guidance on this.

I don't think that it needs official guidance-it stops people from using their own commonsense. I don't think that you can have it, people know their own DCs and some you can't leave at 8yrs. I knew mine would stick to the rules-if I didn't know it then I couldn't have left them.

We live in the centre of town.
I left my ds at 9 yrs to pop out to the shop and i take my mobile phone with me and call him every 5-10 mins. Now he is 10 yrs and i do it more often. I am happier to leave him whilst he is busy watching a film on TV. Without my phone to call him i would not do it. I know i shouldnt really but if he is battling and moaning about coming with me. . ......

DD1 is the same age (8 after Christmas) and I am a fairly relaxed parent. For me the issue would be how far away you were going to be. I leave DD1 sometimes when I take DD2 to the childminder, which probably means being gone for about 15 minutes. The difference for me is that the childminder is a short walk down the road so there's no risk of getting held up, and I could be back very quickly if need be. For me, a car journey is too much distance at this age, but I can imagine that in a couple of years it will be fine.

Why shouldn't you really maltesers? He is 10yrs old and you are on the end of a phone.

"I know i shouldnt really but if he is battling and moaning about coming with me. . ......"

Yes you should!!!!!!! He's 9, for heaven's sake, not 5!

Sorry, he's 10! Even more yes you should!!!!!!

As it is, he must be highly annoyed to have the TV programme interrupted ever 5 -10 mins! Mine would roll their eyes and say 'I'm a big boy now and will phone you if there is a problem!'

1234Thumbscrew
It is better that there is no official guidance on this. Some children are fine to be left when they are 8yo, some would burn the house down if left unsupervised at 10yo.

It is better that each family set their own limits.

I find this really hard to judge (even more so with DD being only 1) but I know that by 16 they need to be able to live alone if they choose to, walk home late from work, cook and clean for themselves and use public transport. If I was working back from this I think I would leave a very sensible 8yo alone for up to half an hour. My mum used to leave us with 2 contact numbers if she wasn't home by a certain time, one of a family member and one of a neighbour, and would leave a toy clock next to the real one so we would know if she was late. Never had to use the numbers. It is surely even easier now with mobiles? YANBU to trust your judgement but I wouldn't do it on a whim, I would have everything in place and contact numbers and emergency proceedures drilled in.

In a way one DC is easier-arguments are the worst problem if you leave two or more.

Tuff if my son be annoyed piscesmoon. . .he either comes with me or gets his tv interrupted with me calling. Its for his safety afterall.

I would happily leave my sensible 8 year old but she wouldn't be happy to be left.

She was poorly last week and even with my DH in bed (night shift) she rang me about 10 times on the school run panicking even though she could easily wake up DH if there was a problem!

If I phoned to say 'are you OK' after 5 mins-he would say 'no, the house has burnt down!'
If he wasn't OK he would phone me!

No I could no way leave a child home alone. Others have given reasons like what if you had an accident, there was a fire, or the child was hurt in some other way, my biggest fear (maybe irrational) would be what if someone came to the house and took the child?

Seriously I do think stuff like that.

They are irrational. My rule at 10yrs was don't answer the door.

These threads come up all the time - I know I wouldn't leave my DCs alone but then again at 7 years old I had a front door key and walked home from school on my own, walked to friends' houses to play by myself, often left alone while my mum went shopping etc. I think there would be more chance of you having an accident than anything happening to your DD

I wouldn't leave ds now, and he's 10. But that's because he wouldn't want to be left and TBH it would help me enormously if he was OK with being alone for half an hour.

Your DD was fine with it, so YANBU, op.

WRT what would happen if you'd had an accident, I assume the emergency services would call your house (perhaps getting your home number from your mobile). It's so unlikely that anything would happen though that I think it's a risk worth taking.

It is very much up to them, if they don't want to be left then you wouldn't do it.