to get really annoyed by the bullying tone on mumsnet?

[lollypoplady]

I haven't been on here long and tbh some of the I have read have made me feel really uncomforatble. It seems all someone has to do is ask a genuine question (not even make a 'judement') about a contentious topic e.g. stay at home mum's/working mums, chavvy names, or anything to do with benefits and they are jumped on and ranted at for being ignorant judgemental & ill informed among other things. I don't like it.

All the threads that you have mentioned cause problems, if you go elsewhere it is very helpful. Just keep off AIBU, anything to do with breast feeding or SAHM V WOHM and don't stray onto HE unless you agree to say everyone is wonderful- and you won't have a problem!

I'm pretty new on here and I have to say I LOVE the honesty and all the witty comments...it's a refreshing change after nethuns other forums.

I had a bit of a flaming on here when I disagreed with everyone else who replied to a post (that'll teach me to give the first reply!) but I didn't feel bullied. I think I was BU! And when I dared to do my first post in here I got loads of really helpful and kind replies, which I wasn't expecting.

It's good here .

There is no point if people are not honest! Some people are also very funny and the first thing you need as a parent is a sense of humour-some people take themselves way too seriously.

I am quite new to this and i agree there are a lot of insecure people on here who like to attack if they come across a thread that is not to their taste. It says a lot about those people!

and sometimes people will agree becuase they are in the same situation and can empathise and others are just using their PoV.

And sometimes people will agree with the OP despite the fact they'd never do, say think it themselves, they just understand where they're coming from.

I love MN, I have ROFL some evenings

Piceamoon - as I am a avid 'breast is best' fan i think I will start a new thread to see what happens...!

I posted a thread in AIBU tonight - expecting a full or partial flaming

Instead I got heartwarming support and loads of good advice - all of which I intend to take

Thank you MNers all

xx

insecure people? On the Internet? Ya think....?

I am 'breast in best' too but I keep off-I manage to upset both sides!

I am judgemental. MN has taught me that there are shades of grey I was unaware of. Though I don't always change my view, I'm glad that it challenges my entrenched opinions and makes me reassess them.

I'm a cunt. I have it on Mumsnet authority. I'm also naive, boring earnest, well-meaning and don't know what I'm talking about. All of which I'd say is pretty accurate. What's not to like?

YANBU - I can only suggest that those who rant the longest are those trying to justify their positions.

I've had "do fuck off" and all sort of lovely comments from people on mumsnet. Some people have serious issues and like to be big and clever on the internet. Obviously these people are fucking miserable in the real world and probably abuse kittens so I try not to let them get me down.

I think it may be worse to be patronised, rather than bullied-or perhaps they are part of the same! I think that this one about me was quite priceless!

'I appreciate you are not actually a nasty person but your glib comments on this thread and uniformed opinions are getting quite grating.'

As you can no doubt tell I didn't agree with her.

I got noticed!!! Thank you Iwasyoungonce

There's one poster whom I find very reasonable and funny and helpful on other threads, but when she's on AIBU she seems to take on a totally different persona. Perhaps it's a pressure valve.

Oh come on - there are about three posters who can be downright rude but generally to those who deserve it! I was called a fucking knobhead the other day by one...I don't think I am but I was being judgemental and rude. That sort of language doesn't bother me so i don't take it personally. Scottishmummy is hilarious and always right on the money, as is Custardo, another 'rude' poster who has tongue lashed me but is always correct!

Yes, you will get pulled up if you say something like 'my son is turning into a chav' because it's nasty and belittling and should be picked up on.

I only found this particular forum by chance, been posting here a few days, not seen any bullying.

Seen honest opinions, and surely you would rather an honest opinion than a what you want to hear statement.

I like it.

Thing is, as with any forum, I can only see the words on the screen and respond to them.

I can't see body language, I can't hear tone, so a large part of communication is lost. I only have the facts/feelings which are laid out in front of me. There's no way I can compensate for the whole range of emotions which might lie behind that post so I'll respond to what I can see.

Also this is a fast-paced forum with no edit function. People type, post, and then think at least 50% of the time. I've done it myself - posted something and then though 'fucking hell that was a bit forthright'.

Some responses on this thread are tongue in cheek, but if you read them black and white then they look harsh and bullying. Take it all with a pinch of salt and avoid the areas which draw the contraversial argumentative types. If I'm feeling irrationally pissed off and looking for a fight I know I can usually find a good one in AIBU

MN has a reputation for saying it like it is and it lives up to it. Don't want your baby name choice criticised? Don't ask for honest opinions then. If I think your proposed name is chavvy, or overused, or every small Morticia I've ever known has been a horrible child then I'll tell you that name doesn't do it for me and I'll tell you why. In RL I'll grit my teeth and say 'Loocie-Mortisha-Mai, what a lovely name and such innovative spelling!'. Here I'm going to tell you that 3 names is at least 1 too many, don't try to be clever with all different spellings because your child will hate you and every small Morticia I've ever known has been horrible.

Love the honesty, the different opinions, the nobeating about the bush, the personalities etc. Troll hunting annoys me sometimes, but I don't think there is any bullying.

I have seen people ask for an opinion and then not like the answers they get though, I'm sure people post sometimes expecting people to agree with them to validate their opinion, and then are taken aback by the frank honesty they get here.

I agree with firefrakkers-especially over babynames-in RL I always find something diplomatic to say (however difficult)but on here I say what I think! You hope that it might save some poor little soul from being landed with something dreadful for life!
The problem with AIBU people quite clearly post thinking they are entirely reasonable, so they don't like the opposite view and very often the majority think they are clearly unreasonable. Some actually accept it but most flounce off in a huff!

Do you know there are many many other topics/forums/threads on MN that AIBU? Why not go hang out in some of these other places - they tend to be a lot more gentle & less opinionated.

AIBU DOES NOT equal MN!! It's just a part of it - a sometimes shouty, opinionated & quite good fun part.

AIBU may get a bit heated & shouty but it's really not bullying.

I think AIBU gets most because it comes up first under 'last 15mins'and lots of people don't progress further. You won't get anything but kindness if you go on bereavement, or people have genuine problems and are asking for advice.
If you just want agreement and won't listen to advice then you will have problems, some people will tell you gently and others will be blunt or rude.

I love the straight talking here, the lack of fluffiness, and the intelligence. It's definitely not for everyone, which is why Netmums exists.

The aspects of MN you object to OP are surely just the result of online anonimty and if you find the MN experience too harsh try some other forums.

I enjoy browsing MN as I find like minded people and interesting stories I can relate to. I also enjoy a bit of no holds barred debate (once started a thread on 4x4 so I must be hardened MN'r now!!). The responses do get ott at times but on the whole i find it invigourating and never felt bullied as I am a big hairy trucker girl and can take it.