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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave dhs clothes to rot in the washing machine

47 replies

CyberspaceCinders · 08/11/2010 10:39

He puts it on

he leaves it

he forgets it

he is beyond hopeless

disclaimer
I have fished my clothes out

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 08/11/2010 10:40

YABU

It will make the machine smell.

Just tell him not to put it on if he doesn't have any intention of dealing with it when it's finished... or be happy he puts it on?

meltedmarsbars · 08/11/2010 10:42

YABU

What does the word "partnership" mean?

DooinMeCleanin · 08/11/2010 10:42

YABU they will be in there for weeks and you will never get any washing done. Either throw them in the bath or carefully place them in his bed, might be worth putting them on a rinse cycle first, so they are bit wetter Grin

DooinMeCleanin · 08/11/2010 10:43

meltedmarsbars where is the partnership in never emptying the washer of your own or your partners clothes?

ilovehens · 08/11/2010 10:43

Just stick it in a plastic bag and leave it somewhere for him to trip over Grin

My dh soon gets the message when I do this.

What really irritates me is when he says to me "Oh, I've done you a load of washing" when I come in from work, only to find the washing still actually in the washing machine and not hung out to dry or anything like that Sad

eaglewings · 08/11/2010 10:44

Be happy he puts the machine on providing he has asked you if you would be available and kind enough to remove his clothes when they are finished.

Some dp (male and female) wouldn't get the clothes as far as the machine.

That said I can't complain, my dh even hangs it up and somethimes even puts it away Grin

meltedmarsbars · 08/11/2010 10:45

Blardy hell, no wonder so many marriages end in divorce if you get all het up about such minor things!

Needaname · 08/11/2010 10:48

This drives me mad! It takes to put a wash on (which is usually only done when his stuff is running low) and much more effort to hang it out and put it away. YANBU but agree you should leave it in a bag not the machine.

DooinMeCleanin · 08/11/2010 10:48

My marriage is fine. DH learnt long ago that if he doesn't empty the washer before I need to use it, then his clothes will end up in the bath, ergo, they will need washing again.

He now emptys the washer. If only he could learn to empty the dryer and put his clothes away Hmm

Needaname · 08/11/2010 10:48

takes 60 seconds that should be

wholelotofarse · 08/11/2010 10:48

Ermmmmm it's clothes, in a washing machine. He hasn't ripped off the front of your house and left it. Maybe just ask him to take it out? Or, I dont know, as your clothes were in there too, get over it?

upahill · 08/11/2010 10:49

You are being petty tbh.

I do half a job on things sometimes if I get distracted and Dh picks up where I left off and visa versa.

Teamwork, partneship, working together, compromise,call it what you will but it's not an issue this. Save your battles.

potplant · 08/11/2010 10:56

I think I'm missing something here. Are you saying that he put a load in the machine. You have taken yours out and left his in there? You have serioulsy poked through all the stuff in there and left his in there? Don't you think thats a bit mad?

mumeeee · 08/11/2010 10:58

YABU and very petty. I sometimes forget to take the washing out and sometimes Dh forgets to take it out. But we will just get on with it and the one who remebers takes it out and hangs it out. Neither of us would dream of fishing their own clothes out and leaving the other persons in the machine.
I wouldn't even do this to DD3 if she forgot to take her washing out

roundwindow · 08/11/2010 11:02

YANBU! This is a particular bugbear of mine. I hate it when work is effectively plonked on me without any prior warning or negotiation. And this is exactly what happens in this situation... as someone already said, the work is in emptying the maching, hanging out etc. For someone to assume that you will do their work for them is infuriating. yes, equal partnerships and all that, but only if both parties have agreed to what that means and respect the other one's boundaries. It's not for anyone else to decide that the work they're inflicting on someone else (in a partnership of equal adults, obv) is 'only a little thing'.

TheChamomileLawn · 08/11/2010 11:04

Yanbu, why can't he do the full process? Putting the washing in the machine is the easy part.

coatgate · 08/11/2010 11:07

I feel your pain - this drives me mad too. Also, when DH tells me that he has filled the dishwasher - for me. Washed up - for me. Swept the floor - for me. FFS - he eats too............

FindingGuysMojo · 08/11/2010 11:09

YABU & being petty - but I do understand why you are annoyed.

If DP thinks the washing basket is looking full he will put a 'load' into the machine. He usually won't turn it on, he doesn't sort clothes first and goodness knows what is in there. It so winds me up HOWEVER I take a big breath & deal with it (we have had conversations about it many times before without any improvement) as he is awesome at so much other stuff around the house that I am crap at.

For the record in the past I may have done similiar with FLATMATES washing (well I would have put in basket & left it there) but not a family wash.

piprabbit · 08/11/2010 11:10

DH doesn't do laundry at all, seems to find the machine hard to operate despite the fact that he designs/develops/maintain complex electrical equipment for a living Hmm.

Recently he has learnt to put his swimming towel and shorts in the machine for a rinse (even manages to get the setting right). He manages this all on his own, but hasn't got round to the taking it out and hanging it on the rack bit. I often stumble across it a couple of days later, when I have to remove it because I'm usually trying to do some laundry...

GrimmaTheNome · 08/11/2010 11:10

My DH can't even get his clothes into the laundry basket so maybe you shouldn't complain too much. The most annoying thing is when he asks where the shirt was which he intended to wear again 'to save me work' Hmm...
how am I supposed to know if he's left it on the bathroom floor.

Fibilou · 08/11/2010 11:17

I would be bloody grateful if DH stopped dropping his dirty clothes over the house like a trail of filth, let alone actually had the initiative to gather them up and put them in the washing machine.
YABVU

eaglewings · 08/11/2010 11:22

coatgate I hate that phrase too, my dh doesn't use it but friends dp do. Sorry, does the house belong to the woman only? I doubt they would think that if they separated!

Its worse when men talk about staying in to baby sit their own kids Angry

I can't imagine there being separate washes, in our house for my dh and my clothes. Everybody's goes in together after being sorted into colour and type. Is this unusual? Confused

DooinMeCleanin · 08/11/2010 11:29

Coagate Dh does that and then stands there as though he is expceting some of congratulations for doing it Hmm

I might start greeting him with "Well I got your children out of bed for you, dressed and fed them both, then I brushed their hair and their teeth for you and took them to school for you. After that I walked the dog for you and did the washing up for you. Then I went to collect your youngest child from nursery and gave her lunch for you...."

Niecie · 08/11/2010 11:33

YABU but only because it means you can't wash anything else until he takes it out and it sounds like that might be a while and also because if they do stay in there long enough and go all mildewy he will have buy himself new clothes.

I would agree with the putting them in a bag suggestion and leave them somewhere obviously like on his side of the bed.

I sympathise though as DH has a tendency to start jobs and not finish them - emptying the dishwasher and leaving the clean stuff on the worktop is my personal bugbear. Apparently he doesn't know where some things go despite living in this house with me for the last 6.5yrs during which time nothing has been moved around.Hmm

I tend to feel that if you can't do a job properly, don't bother.... or is that what they want you to say?

RandyRussian · 08/11/2010 11:58

I tried leaving DH's clothes but he just went out and bought new ones!!!

What CAN you do with them??