not to want my son to learn the violin?

[MMQC]

This is my first AIBU, be gentle with me!

My son is six years old. He goes to a small village primary school with a single class for year 2, 3 and 4. This year, it has been decided that they are all to learn the violin.

Now I'm not a musician, but the violin does not strike me as the obvious choice for a group of 6, 7 and 8 year olds to learn to play. I'm all for fostering musicality, but the thought of my (let's face it, non-musically-gifted) son 'practising' on a violin at home for hours on end fills me with dread.

Last week, we were sent a letter asking us to pay £25 for the hire, maintenance and insurance of a violin for the remainder of the academic year, so our children can massacre the instrument at home too. The general consensus among the other mums is that we'd happily pay more not to have them brought home.

AIBU and mean-spirited and a spoilsport not to want to pay? Would you?

DD has a real talent.
She can listen to a song/a piece of music; and play it instantly on the violin with only a few bum notes.

Third time she's just about nailed it.
If we hadn't "run" with it we wouldn't know she had this talent.

She's no virtuoso or child prodigy by any means, but she has a talent and excuse the pun but it's another string to her bow.

It's certainly done her no harm.

Sorry but yabu.

The fact that you think he doesn't have any musical talent is the very reason to encourage him to learn music - he needs to learn it otherwise he will continue not having a clue and singing happy birthday out of tune.

This was the very reason my dd1 has started piano lessons - to give her an idea of rhythm, tuning and harmony which she simply does not have a clue about naturally. And she is enjoying it! She might never be able to sing happy birthday in tune, but she can play it on the piano, and that's good enough for me.

MaMo (hijacking again, tut tut! )
"can you hold a tune though nickel (like an alto like or 2nd sop?), or play by ear, or memorise music, or improvise?"

yep, yep, (sing by ear, not play by ear, haven't got that far!), yep, yep!
sorry (I love improvising - I am getting better and better at it now I understand music theory)

Let him do it! I played violin then viola from age 7 through school, I never would have had the chance if it had been left up to my mum. I loved it, it was such a fantastic formative experience. I ended up playing for ten years, at a high level (got my grade eight!), I even played in national youth orchestra, and travelled to different countries with youth orchestras. I love love loved it! Made lots of nice friends along the way, plus it's good brain exercise, there are many crossovers between music theory and physics. G'wan!! He might just love it. If not then nothing much will have been lost.

and on top of that, Skeleton, your vocal cordsare muscles.

Singing is amazing for keeping in trim, as well (hard as that may sound to believe!) - in order to sing well, you have to be physical - you are recommended never to sing "from cold", but always warm up first - walking is great for that, clapping rhythms, etc. breathing and stretching, too, before you even engage your voice.
singing is more than just what your voice sounds like, or carrying a tune (granted, those two are very important!), but it's breath control, using your face to make the words sound like words etc etc.
It's quite physically demanding if you do it properly.

and even people with difficulty in getting their tone can be adept physical singers!

DD1 is a terrible singer but she plays the violin and quite well I think.

Think yourself lucky. I took up saxaphone when I was 12. The sounds I made practising cuold be heard far and wide.
Let him play, it will either take off or it won't.

yabu Violins are brilliant.

yanbu You shouldn't have to pay for hire if you can't afford to.

What is that Seth bloke doing to his bow ?

A violin you play through headphones see this could save your sanity if it becomes a real hobby.

A friend whose a piano and violin teacher told me about them when my elder DS (just 7) decided he wanted to play one.

ha - but Nickel - you can't sightread >

The cat used to bite small child by the ankle/socks and try to drag her to the back door when she first started violin/practice. I kid you not.

Both were very young, but the cat took great offence and was small but very tenacious.

The first couple of years of violin practice were spent stopping cat attacking her and dragging child to the cat flap.

Cat wanted to bury child and violin in the garden.

Cat nows sits and listens to small child on violin.

RESULT.

no, I can't sight-read.

blame my parents.

penelope! the cat thought child was competition!
aw...

YABU

Unless you genuinely do not have the £25, why would you deprive your child of an opportunity?

YABU

Learning an instrument is an amazing opportunity.

YABU. Singing ability at 6 is absolutely no indication of musical ability, nor even of likely singing ability in later life. I was unmusical until I started having piano lessons at 8 and then I learnt about rhythm, pitch and epression and now play several instruments and sing in an a capella harmony chorus.

I genuinely believe that very few people are actually tone deaf, they just haven't been trained to listen and reproduce.

SkeletonFlowers, FWIW, sight-singing is IMO much harder than sight-reading on a musical instrument. If you see C followed by F sharp and put your fingers in the right place on a clarinet you will play C followed by F sharp, doing this with your voice requires you to understand chords and intervals, and IMO takes a lot more judgement and general musicality.

D

YABU

This is a great opportunity. You will need to encourage him to practise, but that is your parental duty! (Speaking from experience - I needed to be reminded to practise as a child and I now enjoy playing very much). Give him a chance.

Skeleton - yy sight-singing is very very hard.
also, you don't have to sing in the choir to practise - just do your vocal exercises around the house. then you'll get your upper register back no probs.
and older women's voices are much better than younger - more tonally round.

how old are your DCs?

My DD1 brought home a cello twice, each time the lights went.
I kid you not, she never brought it home again.

She seems to be able to make awful screeching noises from whichever instrument she plays - but has a lovely singing voice.

YABU, just let him play - if he doesn't take to it, no harm done.

YABU any exposure to music and musical instrument is a positive experience IMO.

This might come in handy!

I would have thought the ukelele would have been a better choice though - easier on the ear and smaller!

Well, if the children are being taught by a competent professional music teacher, then Y probably ABU (though I will confess to having strongly encouraged dd towards the flute, which sounds inoffensive at its worst).

But if - as was the case at my primary school - they are being taught en masse by the class teacher who fancies themselves a bit on the violin, and can't actually play properly themselves, then YA not BU one little bit!

(I still have painful memories of school concerts 30+ years later )