not to want my son to learn the violin?

[MMQC]

This is my first AIBU, be gentle with me!

My son is six years old. He goes to a small village primary school with a single class for year 2, 3 and 4. This year, it has been decided that they are all to learn the violin.

Now I'm not a musician, but the violin does not strike me as the obvious choice for a group of 6, 7 and 8 year olds to learn to play. I'm all for fostering musicality, but the thought of my (let's face it, non-musically-gifted) son 'practising' on a violin at home for hours on end fills me with dread.

Last week, we were sent a letter asking us to pay £25 for the hire, maintenance and insurance of a violin for the remainder of the academic year, so our children can massacre the instrument at home too. The general consensus among the other mums is that we'd happily pay more not to have them brought home.

AIBU and mean-spirited and a spoilsport not to want to pay? Would you?

[CozyAutumn]

I think it sounds like a great opportunity. I'd welcome this for my kids if their school did this.

A small group of us were selected to play the violin from about year 3 onwards. I played it until the end of primary school and then when I started secondary school I just gave it up and didn't carry on. Who knows what it could have led on to if I'd have just stuck at it!

Give it a chance I say.

[Emochild]

Bloody hell

I got 3 pages in before I realised it was a zombie

I was getting all worked up about music, the national curriculum and you wouldn't complain about them doing maths practice at home

[CozyAutumn]

Tut 🙄

[BikeRunSki]

Dd is in Y3 and the whole class started violin this year. Not been too terrible so far, DS enjoys it, makes a change from sport and so far no bows, just plucking. What's not to like?

[BikeRunSki]

Pants. Zombie.

[KERALA1]

Dd1 learns the violin and it's fine. Dd2 has just started the flute. That is way way worse.

[chaplin1409]

Lol at the singing comment op my daughter can not sing st all yet plays the cornet, baritone and harp very very well.

My other daughter has just started learning the violin and I was dreading the noise buts it's not actually that bad and they learn so quick.

[LuchiMangsho]

Mother of a 4, nearly 5 year old. Music mad. I am utterly tone deaf. He began pestering me to play the viOlin at THREE. At 4.9 has sailed through the Prep Test. I cannot tell you how keen he is- practises with such enthusiasm. I am just amazed because I don't have a musical bone in my body. Yes it was screechy at first but the enthusiasm is truly infectious. And actually he was quite tuneless as well and it seems to have helped his singing. Is pestering me currently that he wants to play the piano and the trumpet. But no, if your child is keen don't stand in his way.
As utterly non musical parents we have tried to encourage the violin playing by taking him to concerts and also buying him CDs he can listen to. There are a couple of lovely 'My First Orchestra' and my 'First Classical Music' books that come with CDs. I have used them to learn about music myself.
And finally I get DS to teach me. I ask him to show me what he is playing and what the theory is and he absolutely loves explaining something to Mummy that she knows nothing about. It makes him feel most superior but I can see it also helps him to understand stuff as well.

[LuchiMangsho]

Ugh. Zombie thread.

[beginnersewer]

Hmm, slight tangent but hoping we don't have group violin or recorder lessons when mine gets to school age as he has a minor condition which generally doesn't affect him much but does mean he won't have the dexterity needed for violin or recorder. Most other activities (eg sports) he would be fine to have a go at but most musical instruments will definitely not be possible. Drums or singing would be fine... would a teacher teach a whole class to play the drums instead?!

[beginnersewer]

PS is it common to have group music lessons like this?

[FerretFred]

The child is now 12.....wonder how they got on.

[beginnersewer]

lol hopefully the funding has been cut since then and I won't have to worry about it!

[waterrat]

If he actually did practice for hours a day You wpuld then certainly have a very talented violin player on your hands.

Read the book outliers by malcolm glad well about how practice matters much much more than innate talent

[FerretFred]

I'm sorry beginnersewer but its in the contract. As a parent you have to put up with the child being given a really cheap crappy (usually plastic) instrument that a virtuoso couldn't play.

You then endure weeks of screeching, scratching and squealing whilst telling them its great and they are doing wonderful.

And your reward? To be invited to a school concert that makes your ears bleed.

[beginnersewer]

lol drums it is then....

[Liiinoo]

When my DD was 6 she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. She started to play the violin at 7 and at first it was painful to listen to and I just tuned it out. gradually her musicality developed and her voice matured. By the time she left school she was a Grade 7 in voice, piano and violin. She has sung all over Europe, solo and in choirs. The expectation that she would be able to perform on cue for teachers/school visitors/examiners has made her very confident in public. This meant when she started applying for graduate trainee jobs she was able to represent herself well and so had her pick of some great positions. Music has given her many wonderful experiences and remains a very renjoyable hobby. Although when her and her mates come home from the pub at 1am and wake me up with loud performances of Adele and Disney I am not quite so keen.

So yes YABU. Let him give it a try. It may or may not be his 'thing' but don't restrict him because he hasn't shown any potential yet.

[manandbeast]

Maybe no one asked you what you want your kid to learn because they assume most parents want to foster the interests of their 6 year olds rather than quash them because they don't think they're talented enough. He's 6 and you've already decided he'a not musical???

Honestly I feel sorry for your son, if he's subject to your 1950s style parenting.

[manandbeast]

Argh just seen it's a zombie thread

[FerretFred]

manandbeast The kids now 12 and more worried about girlfriends and spots than violins....

[ZombieLauraIngalls]

YABU. He's very lucky to get an opportunity like that. My daughter's school doesn't do any music except choir.

She has been learning the violin at home for a year now, she has a weekly lesson and does maybe ten minutes practice a day, if any.

I'm not musical at all, but I work in education and have read about the benefits of learning. Music is so important, and it's still very inaccessible for a lot of children. DD can read music pretty well, and I'm in awe of that- it's all meaningless squiggles to me.

[ZombieLauraIngalls]

Oh ffs zombie thread!

Wonder if op's son is playing at Carnegie Hall yet