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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU that I never expected my baby to sleep through the night and can't understand why others do?

170 replies

PrincessBoo · 07/11/2010 23:29

When I had my son I never ever expected him to sleep through the night. I knew that he would wake up for feeding and that my breasts produced the best quality milk at night so he'd more likely be wanting to feed then. We co-slept from birth which made it all so much easier, and apart from teething and illnesses it was all as expected.

Some people on here though, and other sites, and amongst some of the people I met back then at baby groups, it seems like there is this quest to get them to sleep through as early as possible.

My son will be 3 in a couple of months and he still doesn't sleep all the way through the night. He usually wakes up at about 4am and climbs in our bed. I'm so used to being disturbed for ten minutes each night that it isn't even an issue - however I am blessed with being on of those people who can get back to sleep pretty easily after being woken up.

I'm just wondering what other people's expectations were / are?

OP posts:

Original poster

PrincessBoo · 08/11/2010 17:16

Just noticed this:

TattyDevine Mon 08-Nov-10 13:36:15

At the risk of sounding antagonistic, having a 3 year old who doesn't sleep through is nothing to be smug about, and on that basis, I dont think you possibly could be. wink

:0 spot on Tatty

Maybe if I hadn't mentioned that we co-slept and that I cope ok nowadays then I wouldn't be being accused of smuggery. Oh well. It could have gone at lot worse I guess.

OP posts:

JamieLeeCurtis · 08/11/2010 17:26

Princess

You have come out of it very well (so far, there's always time for it to kick off)

All this sleep thing leaves me a little bemused. In my day there was no such thing as "co-sleeping" - there was "falling asleep with the baby in the bed and then waking up, confused, thinking you DHs willy was a babies arm (true story)

londonlottie · 08/11/2010 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

whoknowswhatthefutureholds · 08/11/2010 19:50

I did expect my DC to sleep through on the main. And they do on the main. I expect my my 3 or 5 year to sleep through unless ill, and if they don't I send them back to bed asap. (though I let my 6 month off, as she is teething but expect her to return to sleeping through again v soon as she has from a ffew weeks, she co-sleeps often)

BarbieLovesKen · 08/11/2010 19:51

HabbiBoom Where in my post did I say that parents of children who dont sleep through the night are stupid?

Manda25 · 08/11/2010 21:47

I went to bed every night at 7pm until mine slept through. Their dad did the 8pm and 12am feed and I was back up for the 4am feed after having 8-9 hours sleep. I 'dont do' lack of sleep.

Timeforanap · 09/11/2010 02:27

MrsTittlemouse lol @ "feed like she was trying to suck a pineapple through a straw, and yell at me to change sides every 20 minutes, so it wasn't too restful for me.* I've so had that! A very good description!

musicmadness · 09/11/2010 12:15

I might not expect it but I really hope any of mine sleep through very early. I'm awful at going to sleep and am often up until 3/4 at night even if I'm exhausted because I can't fall asleep. It takes at least a couple of hours (on a good night) of lying in bed before my body even thinks about sleeping. If mine don't sleep through early I'm probably going to end up at the doctors through sheer exhaustion because I doubt I'd get any sleep at all. Please tell me new mums find it easier to fall asleep

pommedeterre · 09/11/2010 12:25

musicmadness - Just anecdotal but not good news here. I too have always struggled with falling asleep and I still do now (dd nearly 8 months).
I didn't expect her to sleep through (she did at about 4 months irc) but I didn't expect to resent not being able to sleep while she slept so much!

roses12 · 09/11/2010 12:27

I lived in hope. It never happened. Tried everything. Eventually just accepted it and walked around like a zombie for 3 years. Out the other side now and can have actually conversations and remember things (mostly).

Dotters · 09/11/2010 12:28

I expected to be up in the night, sure, but I had no idea what 11 weeks of not having more than 3 hours of solid sleep (and lets face it, more often than not 2 or less hours) would do to me.

I am co-sleeping, but my DD prefers to feed with me sat up (gravity on her side so she does not have to work as hard?) so I am up for about 30 minutes for each feed. Its still better than trying to settle her in her cot after though.

I am looking forward to the day she sleeps more and the day she sleeps though I might just cry with happiness. I never expected it to happen soon, I just didn't know sleep deprivation was this hard.

WassaAxolotl · 10/11/2010 01:56

Oh, Franca's post at Mon 08-Nov-10 14:54:55 reminds me of how I was very upset by a Pampers mailing a few months post-partum.

Among other things, Pampers claimed that their nappy would deliver 12 hours of Golden Sleep?, and that said 12 hours were absolutely essential for the baby, as otherwise s/he would never learn to recognise faces.

Yeah.

I would like to assure all readers that my offspring both seem to have facial-recognition abilities, and neither has slept for 12 hours through yet. Ever.

Superfly · 10/11/2010 05:39

My ds has just slept through the night for the first time. He is 5 yes 1 month. I woke at 5am wondering why I had so much room in the bed. This is weird. Hooray! Could this be the start of unbroken nights sleep?!

Superfly · 10/11/2010 05:41

5 years! Predictive text!

StrawberrySam · 10/11/2010 06:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Galena · 10/11/2010 07:41

Yay for Superfly's DS!

I think it's a bit of a "stigma thing" you know. Like it's fine to say 'Oh I never got the hang of maths at school. I still can't do it.' but not ok to say 'Oh I never got the hang of reading at school. I still can't do it.'

It's fine to say 'My DS/DD can't talk yet' but not to say 'My DS/DD doesn't sleep through yet'. Because of this, if your child doesn't sleep through you worry that they aren't normal. Hence nobody really discusses how common it really is, leaving people to panic that they are the only ones whose children don't sleep through.

Sorry, that's a bit garbled but hopefully you can see what I mean?

snowflake69 · 10/11/2010 08:26

Or daughter gets in the bed with us half way through the night and she is nearly 3. I will be gutted when she stops tbh.

I never really sleep straight through the night myself even when my parents look after her for the weekend and I am 26! Some people just dont sleep through the night no matter how old they are.

scaryteacher · 10/11/2010 08:50

My ds slept through from about 4/5 months iirc; there was no cruelty and no leaving to cry. I moved into his room when he was having a bad night and he settled down.

He is now 15 and getting him out of bed is the problem!

Original poster

PrincessBoo · 10/11/2010 17:46

I am bloomin' exhausted today. He hasn't slept properly since Sunday... wish I hadn't posted the OP

I am thinking it might be something to do with the temperature in his room, we have central heating but not double glazing and the temp drops quite a lot at night - last year he was still in with us when it got to this time of year.

Glad everyone's enjoyed the discussion so far, and that most have taken it in the spirit it was intended. :)

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Original poster

PrincessBoo · 10/11/2010 17:48

oh and Dotters huge unmn hugs to you - Have you tired looking in the sleep section for tips? It's so bloody hard sometimes isn't it?

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