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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that in front of my boyfriend my flatmate should not....

105 replies

tummysgottogo · 06/11/2010 11:39

wear an animal print dressing gown, legs crossed and on of them showing to the thigh and talk about how she'd like to shag a guy at work because he's "dangerous" and "everyone likes a bit of danger"?

To be fair she didn't know he was coming around at 8am this morning but is it too much to ask that she bloody gets dressed???

OP posts:
Original poster
tummysgottogo · 06/11/2010 11:41

sorry one of her legs

OP posts:
theyoungvisiter · 06/11/2010 11:43

in her own home? At 8am? Yes!

If your boyfriend doesn't like it he can look away. Besides, "leg showing to the thigh" - we're not in the Victorian era you know.

Had you said, she was naked and proceeded to wax her bikini line, I might have agreed with you but sitting in your own home in your dressing gown at 8am seems fairly mild.

gingernutlover · 06/11/2010 11:43

why are you worried about this?

theyoungvisiter · 06/11/2010 11:44

Sorry - that "yes" was in answer to your question

"is it too much to ask that she bloody gets dressed???"

Yes, yes it is too much to ask.

OhBloodyNorah · 06/11/2010 11:44

ooh, I had a friend just like that

I thought that sort of thing was a Hollywood conceit and didn't really happen IRL- but it does

no advice, but I feel your pain

you and your bf may learn to laugh at it

TrillianAstra · 06/11/2010 11:45

It's her flat too. She's not naked. Are you worried that your boyfriend will start acting 'dangerous' and want to shag her?

DuelingFanjo · 06/11/2010 11:46

YABU and insecure. What is it about your boyfriend that you don't trust?

Original poster
tummysgottogo · 06/11/2010 11:46

OK just checking. We were all sitting on sofas having breaky and coffee that he brought around and it seemed a little as though she was trying to flirt a little with him. He didn't respond to her at all but he's a new fella so I guess I'm still a little unsure about things. I also believe the notion (rightly or wrongly) that it doesn't take a man much to get distracted.

OP posts:
BOOMyhoo · 06/11/2010 11:46

it's her home so YABU to expect her to get dressed at 8 am.

also, don't you trust your boyfriend?

BOOMyhoo · 06/11/2010 11:47

so you blame your friend for your boyfriend's lack of control?

ChippingIn · 06/11/2010 11:47

If you are this insecure then you are in for a rough time.

Of course YABU, it's her home. She's quite entitled to be in her dressing gown at anytime - even one, shock horror, that shows her thighs. It's not like she knew he was there and then started parading around in her knickers!

TrillianAstra · 06/11/2010 11:47

Should women not talk about sex when there are men in the room? Should we all pretend to be hard to get or something?

Maybe she was flirting, but maybe she was treating him like any other human being and chatting just as she always would, instead of thinking that men are some alien species.

theyoungvisiter · 06/11/2010 11:48

"I also believe the notion (rightly or wrongly) that it doesn't take a man much to get distracted."

You're wrong. A NICE bloke (ie one that fancies you and wants to be with you and has a moral compass) doesn't get "distracted". And if he does, it's not the fault of the person sitting in their own dressing gown in their own flat. It's HIS fault for being an sexually incontinent arse.

Vallhala · 06/11/2010 11:48

What theyoungvisiter said. Your OP makes you sound both a little insecure and a little immature.

Dunno why the print of the dressing gown is relevant either. :o

Heartsease · 06/11/2010 11:49

AIBU to think I should be entitled to sit around in my dressing gown at 8am on a Saturday in my own home? Of course not. Ergo, YABU.

And I doubt she dashed out at 7.30 to the 24 Hour Seduction Emporium to buy the leopard print especially for your boyfriend -- presumably that is just her dressing gown.

Goblinchild · 06/11/2010 11:50

I'd be pissed off at a boyfriend being in the house if I had to change what I usually do.
Why not get dressed and go over to his place instead, or meet outside the house?
You sound very insecure about your new fella.

theyoungvisiter · 06/11/2010 11:51

Grin Valhalla

Cos it shows she's an animal in the sack maybe?

Depends what kind of animal print of course. "I'm a zebra between the sheets" doesn't have quite the same ring.

Original poster
tummysgottogo · 06/11/2010 11:51

I probably am a little insecure. We started the relationship very sexually without much commitment but the commitment is now being built into the relationship, so I guess I feel like that needs to be consolidated.

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 06/11/2010 11:53

You are worried that if more attractive bait is dangled in front of him, he'll jump?
It's a risk, but nothing to do with your flatmate's choice of clothing or conversation.

Original poster
tummysgottogo · 06/11/2010 11:53

also the "dangerous" guy had a girlfriend....

OP posts:
Original poster
tummysgottogo · 06/11/2010 11:54

I think I'm worried that if given half a chance men will get away with what they can. Please tell me that this is prejudiced and unfair on the many decent men there are out there

OP posts:
PosieComeHereMyPreciousParker · 06/11/2010 11:55

No, it's not too much to ask for your friend not to flirt and cover up.

TrillianAstra · 06/11/2010 11:56

So is he your boyfriend, or someone you shagged who you hope might become your boyfriend? If the latter I can see why you would not want sexy-leopard-thighs hanging around.

But if he wants to be your boyfriend then there is no need to keep other girls away from him.

If he doesn't want to be your boyfriend then keeping other girls away from him will do no good.

Either way, trying to keep him away from other women will make you look mad, and possibly make him less likely to want to be your boyfriend.

theyoungvisiter · 06/11/2010 11:56

Look - take my advice and stop making this about your flatmate.

Whether your boyfriend is faithful or not is entirely his own responsibility and nothing to do with whether your flatmate wears a dressing gown or a burka.

FWIW I agree she sounds mildly annoying tbh but she's not a threat to your relationship unless your boyfriend is a twunt.

FlameGrilledMama · 06/11/2010 11:57

YABU I wont put on aires and graces for no one I dress skimply and talk about sex a lot I am vulgar and obscene (I grew up with all boys and they taught me bad manners sorry) and I wont change who I am for anyone, if a friend expects me to change so their boyfriend does not get a eyeful of my err leg Confused then they don't deserve to be frineds with me.