to think that in front of my boyfriend my flatmate should not....

[tummysgottogo]

wear an animal print dressing gown, legs crossed and on of them showing to the thigh and talk about how she'd like to shag a guy at work because he's "dangerous" and "everyone likes a bit of danger"?

To be fair she didn't know he was coming around at 8am this morning but is it too much to ask that she bloody gets dressed???

"I think I'm worried that if given half a chance men will get away with what they can. Please tell me that this is prejudiced and unfair on the many decent men there are out there"

I'm sure there are some blokes out there who would "get away with what they can". But personally I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with one.

If it makes you feel better, think of your flatmate as a bit like a canary down a mine. Selflessly putting herself in danger to give you early warning if your boyfriend is an arse

Seriously, if all it takes to make him stray is a girl in her dressing gown, do you not think you're better off without him? And if he's a nice guy then you're being unfair on him acting so paranoid.

Men aren't one homogeneous mass. They don't have a pavlovian response to leopard print (well my dh does but it's not one of desire), they aren't forced by their basest and most uncontrollable desires to fornicate with any readily available female who flashes a bit of thigh. If a man is anything other than faithful in a monogamous relationship, it's because he made a decision. A very poor one.

This is not the way to start a relationship. Being insecure is normal, I think most people have at least flashes of it, but your mindset is very much fixed on men bad, all other women are temptresses. That's just insulting.

Trillian put it more succinctly than me

All would of been fine if only it had been pink terry towelling!
You should buy her one for christmas to stop anymore of thee mishaps happening.

@ferret

'Men aren't one homogeneous mass'

mine is

YV you make me laugh! You're right, it's more about me and my insecurities (I didn't detect any interest on his part) but I just thought it was a bit off. But if he is a decent chappy then it shouldn't make a difference, and if he isn't then he is a twunt better off disappearing asap. We became exclusive two weeks ago - still is very new

What about your flatmate do you seriosly think that just because she likes sex she is going to whisk your man off ?

and leopard dressing gowns

She was flirting though.... think we all agree on that?

In all seriousness, I once had a flatmate who stripped naked in front of dh (then dp) and asked him to do something to her that I'm fairly sure is still illegal in several countries. DH ran away.

Flame - the guy she was talking about shagging has a girlfriend.

No, I don't have enough evidence to know whether she was flirting or not. Could she have had exactly the same conversation and body language if the visitor had been female?

She might have had the same conversation had it just been me to be fair. But it felt different having the newbie next to me.

I'm a zebra between the sheets
I just spat OJ at the screen, there a topic for a thread.........

Nah.... go with your first instinct. She was flirting. Some people can't help it :)

Talking is not doing I have dreams of shagging many married men but talking and doing are two different things.

In my case it was a act to hide my insecurity and because I was picked on school and had a crap homelife growing up.

Now I do it because it is who I am but that does not mean I am ever going to cheat IYSWIM.

I laugh and talk about cheating but the only time I ever discovered the person I was sleeping with was in a relationship I took his phone phoned his girlfriend up told her and threw him out half naked.

tummy, i do think this is your issue. you say it felt different, not that it sounded different or taht she acted different, but you felt different. i think you were on teh alert because your new man was there and so picked up on something that wasn't even tehre.

Thanks everyone. I was pretty annoyed and was going to say something but now realise that if it makes a difference to him/us then he's a cunt anyway. If he's the good man I think he is then it won't matter

Since when was the green-eyed monster that is jealousy rational? If you feel something's not quite right about your flat-mate doing her best imitation of Bet Lynch, indulge yourself. It's all part of the fun of being in a relationship!

ha, i thought bet lynch too chil

who is bet lynch?

OMG just googled her and there is an uncanny resemblance at times

I have a giraffe print dressing gown

Tummy

YANBU to feel uncomfortable with this. Sounds like your friend was being a bit flirty, which, if she is any kind of a friend, is something that you don't do with your flatmate's new man.

But, YABU if you think that this would attract your new BF. Give him the benefit of having a few brains.

Anyone who thinks women are above subtle flirting to get an edge in the attractiveness stakes over a friend is living in Disneyland TBH!