A bit of background but I feel really at the end of my tether and very upset.
DS is 15, very bright, at one of the most academic (and most expensive) schools in the country. Very good grades, popular and sporty - everthing going for him (apart from his awful mother) Every time I speak to him I am snapped at in an insubordinate way "what" "in a minute" "ffs" "no I didn't".
Every time I ask him to do something it's in a minutes. Of particular note is his bedroom which is a complete tip. I had a week off at 1/2 term and wanted to tidy it. He had two weeks - complete refusal to help always later or not now. In fact seemed to spend entire two weeks in bedroom on computer, game station, etc.
Is asked constantly to sort out piles of clothes on chair and make sure what needs washing is in linen basket. Always an issue finding essential stuff - asked time after time to get games stuff ready night before so if something can't be found or needs washing there's time to deal with it. Never happens.
At five to eight this morning - we have to leave at 8, "where's my PE top". Is it in the cupboard I say, no. When did you last have it - if you unpacked rucksack at beginning of half term and put in wash 3 weeks ago, shoudl be in cupboard. Response is rude and insubordinate - more the tone than the words. PE top found, screwed up in heap bottom of pile on chair.
I completely lost it, yelled at him about rudeness, speaking to me like s**t, treating me like a servant, complete lack of responsbility. Never doing what is asked.
Response is "i'm still growing and I get tired and you don't understand". I completely lost it again - I'm nearly 50, work full time, bend over backwards, can't do any more and dreadfully "I don't have any of this with your sister".
Then I found that yet again, he had thrown my clothes on the bedroom floor and not picked them up (he uses my hairdryer and mirror in the morning) and I lost it again.
In the car he told me I was a bully (I had said earlier he could get the bus but relented so he wouldn't be late) and he couldn't help it - it was his personality and the only problem was that we were both the same (we are). He said he felt that I said he was useless and had ruined my life - don't think I did. I told him to buck up his ideas and that if he couldn't he could go to the local comp. because I was sick of bending over backwards and making sure he got the best of everything when he was so ungrateful.
Awful, awful morning. I feel absolutely dreadful and a completely useless parent. He got out of the car really upset. I am on the verge of talking to his tutor.
This was all over a PE shirt but I feel at the end of my tether because I simply cannot do any more and feel there is zero appreciation.
Sorry this is very long and rambling but really really upset and worried. DH works abroad Mon-Fri so I do keep a lot of balls in the air and it is hard sometimes. DH though does tend not to confront issues - that's his family's way and why his two sisters are completely non conformist, ie, have never worked, grubby, lazy, scroungers. May be a bit of I'm not having you turning out like either of those two lazy so and so's in here in case it's in his genes.