to ask DD (13) to go to bed at 9pm?

[buttonmoon78]

Well, am I? I get 'evils' if I do but I think it's perfectly reasonable really.

After all, if she doesn't then I get even more evils in the morning.

But all I hear is 'but all my friends stay up til xxx o'clock'.

What time do your dcs go to bed, o wise ones?

Our 12 & 13 yr olds go to bed at 8:30 on school nights and sometimes read until 9....depending on if they were completely ready for school by 7am or not (they get the bus & 7:30)
We also get the "It's not fair my friends go to bed & ...." but when they go to bed later, for instance when they have scouts, they are far worse & getting ready in the morning.
So really it depends on your child and family unit, if they could cope going to bed later and still function as well in the morning and when you go to bed...if you need some time.

We have tried to never made bedtimes an issue. DD2 (aged 10) goes to bed by 9.30, DS (12) by 9.45 and DD1 (aged 15) by around 10(ish). Sometimes they will take themselves to bed sooner than this and sometimes it will be a little bit later.

Weekends are a different matter with the younger 2 DCs expected to go to bed by around 11pm.

Perhaps it helps that DCs have their own family room so that DH and I can watch our 'old people's programmes while DCs watch something unsuitable.

I agree that it depends on the household.

DS1 has just turned 10, usually it's 8.30 bedtime, but recently I've often let him stay up until 9pm (Masterchef final etc). He's rarely asleep before 10/10.30ish.

I went to bed when it got interesting!

Ok, so I never said I was expecting her to be in bed, lights off at nine. I said I was asking her to go to bed at nine, as in get ready. I have already said this.

Asking involves me saying 'DD, it's time for bed now, off you go' and not expecting any arguments (apart from the inevitable evils - though I get those for anything and everything these days).

She goes because she has no option to do other than as she's told. She is a child and has to do as she's told.

I was just wondering if I'm being unreasonable in my timing. That's all.

I'm right there Shiney- the minute the phone comes out, it gets taken upstairs...Nine is the minimum for my sanity.

I agree with the thoughts that having 'smiley virus' on all evening is just torture but I do let DD have some time watching tv, we all like to chill out! Although I tend to go to another room if I hear smileys dire voice.
Why is it that children's tv is so bloody irratating noisy? [ninja]

I think that lots of parents enjoy the time spent with their kids in the evening, and let them stay up. Personally, I enjoy a finite space of time, but I need some time just myself before I feel wound down enough to sleep, so I force subtly encourage a fairly early bedtime.

Shineon = fascist

we know this

Yeah, I wasn't even stalking you. Just turned on active conversations.

Which came first, I wonder, the facism or the copperdom?

DD1 (11) has to be up at 6.30 on school days and doesn't get home till 4.45. She's visibly flagging by about 8pm and is often in bed and fast asleep by 8.30 or 8.45. I know of another child her age (same school, same journey) who is sometimes in bed at 7.30.

Wilfer

My DD (11yrs) also has a day like that. She leaves the house at 7.15am and is home around 4.45pm. She is sometimes in bed much earlier than 9pm too, its a long day.

dd1 is 12.6 and gets up at 6:30 so goes to bed at 9pm but on a friday and saturday night can stay up til whenever she likes

I can't get my daughter to come OUT of her bloody room

Ds is 12 and goes at 9pm but is wide awake and never gets to sleep before 10pm.

Dd (11) would like to go at 9pm but she needs more sleep and can't get up in the mornings so I send her at 8pm now. All her friends go at 8pm too.

I remember being allowed to stay up later than my 1 year younger sister as a child and she hated it - so I can see that scenario repeating itself for a couple of years. Ds is disgusted if I try to get him to go at the same time as his sister, but she is put out that he gets to stay up! Can't win.

I used to feel the need of peace when the children were little, but tbh my 13yo is not that much more demanding than an adult. I don't insist that dh goes to bed at a set time either so that I can enjoy the peace without yakking.