to ask DD (13) to go to bed at 9pm?

[buttonmoon78]

Well, am I? I get 'evils' if I do but I think it's perfectly reasonable really.

After all, if she doesn't then I get even more evils in the morning.

But all I hear is 'but all my friends stay up til xxx o'clock'.

What time do your dcs go to bed, o wise ones?

[buttonmoon78]

Whereas British teens are a bunch of toddlers by comparison

I love a good sweeping statement. Makes my day.

[bruffin]

I'm with you Cory. I like having the DCs around. DD sounds a bit like Shineydiamonds, she doesn't stop talking and will watch Disney or Nickolodeon, but as I said previously I wouldn't see them hardly at all if they were up in their room from 7.30, we often don't have dinner until then. DH doesn't often get home from work until 9 or even later so he wouldn't see them at all.
DS 15 tends to watch his laptop downstairs, he has no set bed time either.

[buttonmoon78]

SmartArse - I think we've established my asking is like other people's telling really.

Shineon - you are checking what she's watched on iPlayer, aren't you? I only say that because my friend was stopping her dd from watching something specific and she was merrily watching it on iPlayer!

[VinegarTits]

talkative children can get very annoying though, my ds1 has had my ear bleeding before now, i cant help but switch off

[cory]

No, Vinegar, but she doesn't have to go to bed at 8.30- she sometimes does because she wants to. I am not saying she has to stay up to entertain me if she doesn't want to. If she wants to go to bed at 7.30, I wouldn't stop her either. But I doubt she needs to sleep from 7.30 every night at her age. And the idea that she must not show her face downstairs while she is still wide awake, because it gets in the way of dh's and my enjoyment of the evening- well, it simply doesn't.

[buttonmoon78]

I love having spats. In fact, we should all get some spatz and wear them to have spats

^^

[buttonmoon78]

Oh, I know all of those a little too well. Flippin' Sarah Jane does my head in!

[VinegarTits]

where did anyone say that their dc sleep from 7.30? i know im late to the thread so might have missed that

if your kid gets home from school at 3.30 and you send them to bed at 7.30 thats 4 hours of quality time they have to spend with you, i dont see that an extra hour would make a whole load of difference tbh

[DandyDan]

My kids - a mixture of teen years - all go to bed at evil o'clock, still get eight hours sleep and wake up bright and happy the next day.

I can understand some kids need more sleep than others but can't understand that once they are 13+ the parents still need time "on their own" once the kids are put to bed. You might want it, sure, but 9/9.30pm is ludicrously early for a mid-teen to be in bed. Teens' bodyclocks are different - they find it better and easier to stay awake at night and then sleep in in the mornings. Obviously this is not a possibility on school nights but it shouldn't mean that they should be put to bed forcibly early. They should learn how to regulate their own sleep needs a little. There does need to be a cut=off time on weekdays - staying up till midnight should be out of order - but getting a regular eight hours should be enough.

As they're growing and learning, also many TV programmes that fit their age-group are on later - both entertaining programmes and informative ones.

[VinegarTits]

teen are bloody annoying though, they are better off in their room for you own sanity

[buttonmoon78]

Is it good money, Shineon?

Ok, Dan. So DD gets up at 6.20. Eight hours takes me back to 10.20 which is not an inconceivable time to fall asleep if she doesn't get into bed until 9.30.

Though personally I think she needs a little more than 8hrs. You can really notice the difference when she has 8.5-9.

[VinegarTits]

when my ds1 was a teen he slept for 12 hours a night, i couldnt get him out of his bed

[DandyDan]

I like my teens, they're fun and good company, and I'm happy for them to stay up until I go to bed myself, either in company with me if they choose, or upstairs in their rooms or on computers/playing musical instruments. Conversationally we treat our teens as adults and this has been a positive thing for them. They're not shut out of rooms so my OH and I can have time to ourselves.

[NordicPrincess]

i dont have teenagers but i would worry about watching adult tv if i let them stay up, and am very against tv/internet in bedrooms. Im not sure how id overcome this but i dont think that 9pm is too earley as long as she can read a book in bed for a while before sleeping.

[cory]

I don't think other people have to let their teens stay downstairs if they feel they don't want to and if they feel their teens are happy not to.

Just saying that it is not the case that all parents feel a need to get shot of their teens. We have plenty of things to do together in the evenings- watching films, making music, talking about general topics of conversation. Obviously, if all we had to talk about was homework and school, then that wouldn't take long at all. But it is possible for some families to have more interests in common. For one thing, we often want to watch the same film, so it would seem silly to do that in separate rooms.

[VinegarTits]

who was getting shot of their teens? shineys kid is 12 not a teen

[VinegarTits]

you sound like the Waltons

[DandyDan]

buttonmoon, children/teens will vary, won't they? My kids get up at 7- 7.30am and are fine with the sleep they get. If they are in their rooms shutting down for the night by 10.30, that's fine by me and they will be likely asleep by 11pm (unless they're reading a very good book, and then they'll suffer the consequences themselves). That counts for eight to eight and a half hours, possibly more.