to love and adore the TV show Maury. Come on you know you love it.

[GetOrfMoiLand]

I watched a classic last week.

The run VT bit where it is all in black and white slow mo, telling the story (where Sharonda is crying about how her babydaddy Tyreece just don't come home no mo).

Tyreece was saying 'Sharonda said I came home smelling of sex. Well that aint sex, I just been eating fish'

It is my guilt pleasure, this show.

Never heard of it

I am partial to a bit if jerry myself

Bit of jerry.

Fucking phone keypad

I think Maury is funnier than Jerry.

The people going on Jerry sometimes have a sense of irony going on.

There aint NO irony on Maury.

That was a story once on Jerry wasn't it?

Takes all sorts....

I used to watch it (almost) religiously when DS1 was little.

Haven't watched it for years, and didn't realise it was still running.......and sorely tempted to start watching it again.

Something about his style that is far superior to JK, Rikki, Jerry Springer etc

Oh, the definition of disappointment is when you click over (or click play on Sky + - DON'T JUDGE ME) and it's one of those:

"I went from High School GEEK to TOTAL TRASHBAG HO!"

I just think - forget it with the uplifting shit and get to the DNA/Lie detector ones FFS.

"I dun like fucked like 40 guys in like...3 days or sumpin..But then I gave head to like 50 more guys an shit..Then I came home and kissed my huuuuusband Tyreqqshesehe and i'm like "OH FUCK! I'S PREGNANT" and shit, my scumbag husband needs to take responsiblities for his chiiiiild!" waves head and snaps fingers

I want to hate Maury...But I Can't..

oh i love maury :) yes its trash tv, but its trash tv at its best.

\link{http://www.mauryshow.com\his website}

with videos, updates and more

I saw one once where this bloke had not come home at all twice in about a month. His excuse was...wait for it..."I was kidnapped"

Kidnapped twice in a month.

Oh Nerdy - I can see that in my head so well.

lol at wave head and snaps fingers.

Oh Shirely I think you are me. Sat down to watch it last week and it was a fucking 'me and my mom lost 200 pounds'.

Who cares? Where's Sharonda who shagged 17 blokes at a party.

Also, do you think there is a great big massive plus-size cheap american version of Ethel Austin in Atlanta, where all the fat ladies buy their hidous pant suits.

My personal favourite is a woman called Forever, who had the DNA of 11 men tested for paternity of her daughter. She then tried to find the fathers of the 2nd and 3rd daughters....Never had a positive match for any of them. Her life must be one long orgy.

OOh I saw t5he kidnapped one as well.

There is a recurring one with two fatso - he keeps on having affairs, denies it, comes on for a lie detector test, it's says 'Maurice - that was a lie' and he completely goes nuts, falls to the floor in a dribbling sobbing heap going 'I'm sorry, i'm sorry'.

Makes me howl.

get yourself on the Maury website and indulge yourselves

Who is that woman who has tested 34 men or summat?

That website is HILARE..

"Dominique seduced Paul with Chicken tetrazzini, where are they now?"

Frankie and Benny's?

Best one is after the DNA tests i want Maury to go

"Well, Shanequianenananananan, it seems all of the 90 men we tested who you slept with, NONE of them are the father of your child.."

Audience starts shouting and the fat woman falls to the floor shouting "OHH JESUS!! OHH LORD!" and then wails uncontrollably, Cut too maury

"...If your just Joining us Shanequiananananananan has just found out that she is a raging cum dump who has no chance of finding out which one of the thousands of men deposited genetic material in her bucket of a fanny...in the background "OH LORD JESUS SAVE ME!!!"....We will be right back, after some messages from out sponsors"

Maury forces a smile as you see a little more of his soul fade from his eyes, the large woman continues rolling around on the floor and screaming for jesus

My mum loves this programme .

Agree with Nerdyface's comments. The reaction always tends to be falling to the knees or running off stage screaming about The Lord or just general wailing. Whether it is good news or not .

"HE IS YOUR CHILD!"
"OH LORD!!!!"

"HE ISN'T YOUR CHILD!"
"OH LORD!!!"

"SHE IS HOTTER THAN SHE WAS AT SCHOOL!"
"OH LORD!!"

"WE ARE OUT OF FOOD IN THE GREEN ROOM!"
"OH LORD!!!"

My mum always says "no use crying now should have thought of that before"

I always love how the lie detector on Maury can tell exactly ho many women people ave cheated with.

All the running about when they get bad news makes me laugh!

My name is Taneesqua, I am a raging cum dump :o

Maury is TV gold. I watched every day when DD was tiny and I was bf her all day long (hope she won't be traumatised for life!)

I liked the ones where they caught out cheating partners in the green room with a hidden camera and a 'sexy decoy', and the cheating scumbag husband would ask her if he could show her his knob or take a topless photo of her.

Welcome Taneesqua, The first step in solving your problems are admitting you HAVE a problem.

Welcome to "Cum Dump Anonymous"