to think that "Oh, I'm just not a morning person" is just an excuse for being lazy

[TorturesInAHalfHell]

This is a general question not a question about my personal situation, but of course mine got me wondering.

My husband is "not a morning person", and apparently I am. So I wake up, groan to myself, and then get up and go about my day. He hides under the pillow, delays, groans, delays, groans, stretches, groans, and eventually sits at the kitchen table staring blankly into space.

The thing is that he's not a lazy bloke generally; he'll do laundry, make our daughter breakfast and pack a nappy bag while I'm dithering about an outfit, straightening my hair and airing the beds. So chances are, he does actually find it harder to get going in the morning than I do. And we split lie-ins on the weekend, so he's not just taking the piss, he genuinely seems to find mornings hard.

But then again, he always mysteriously "gets a second wind" just after she's in bed (she's a toddler, so 7-8pm) and always stays up after I do.

I think if he just bloody went to bed on time he'd be better in the mornings. He says he can't go to bed earlier, he won't sleep, and even after a good night's sleep he's far more draggy in the morning. And again, not a lazy guy, so maybe he's right.

So, over to you. Are you a morning person/not? Is it an actual biological thing that he's worse in the mornings than me? If you're "not a morning person" is that unfixable? How do you cope with small children? Should I actually be sympathetic instead of just telling him to go to bed earlier?

I'm a 'morning person'. After about 10.30pm, if I've got things to do (sorting washing, for example), I'd rather get up early the next morning to do it. And I always exercise in the mornings rather than the evenings. I have more energy then.

I'm a midday kind of a person Anytime between 10 and 5, I'm good ...

Actually, I think being a night owl stood me in good stead for having a newborn.

Night feeds weren't too bad and I didn't tend to bother going to bed until the 12.30am/1am feed. Obviously I felt shit in the morning but then I always do

Also, I think I was better placed to catnap/sleep when ds slept in the morning than someone who is awake early and then that's them for the day.

I'm 'not a morning person' either. I am much happoier going to bed later about 1-2am and getting up at 9-9.30am. I can get up at this time very easily and without feeling wiped out, unlike if I have to wake earlier despite having had the same amount of sleep.I used to do this when DS was little and made the world work around us.

Now we have to conform to the 9-5 world

YABU, I think there are larks and owls.

I get up early because I have to; as does DH. But both of us find we're really slow to get going and we certainly aren't firing on all cylinders for a good couple of hours after getting up.

But then we both get a second wind after the younger children are in bed, and won't go to bed until eleven/midnight. In that time we read, do the ironing, watch TV etc.

If left to my own devices I would naturally go to bed about midnight, one o'clock then waken about nine. As that isn't an option I constantly feel tired, and an early night doesn't make me feel any less tired when I'm getting up at 0630.

I'm rubbish at getting up in the mornings and feel drugged no matter how much sleep I've had. I rely on my natural light alarm clock this one which has got me through the winters and is worth every penny.

Part of it is being a natural owl who can get loads done in the evenings, a lot is having low blood pressure that worsens when I'm laying down (postural hypotension). If I peer down at a low bookshelf for a while then stand up I lose my vision briefly - getting up after laying down all night is worse.

Things that help: getting up slowly; having the head of my bed slightly raised so I'm not sleeping totally flat; sitting up for a few minutes before getting out of bed (or I see nothing but blackness from moving too fast); having some natural light building up gradually so I'm not stunned into awake by an alarm noise; drinking water and eating some dry cereal to kick start me before I get up.

All of this allowed me to get up effectively for work through dark Scottish winters and is now buggered ruined by having DC (4 months and 2 years) who do not let me keep to the plan!

My mum was one of those night owls: couldn't get to sleep before midnight but felt absolutely nauseous before 8 o'clock in the morning. She still got through more work than anybody else in the family. Db also was the same in his younger days: again, one of the most hardworking people I have ever known.

Me, I don't really mind: I can do an early start or a late night, doesn't really upset me.

But always find it a bit silly when larks present it as somehow a moral issue: as if doing the same amount of work before mid day was somehow morally superior to doing it after mid-day.

I'm not a morning person.

If I have to be up at 7 (about normal for getting kids to school, me to work etc.) then I have to be in bed by 9 the night before or I'm completely useless.

However, if I don't have to be up till 9, I can stay up till waaaaay past midnight and it doesn't bother me.

I used to run pubs and the late nights were never a problem as long as I could stay in bed till about 9 ish (which wasn't always possible but we tried!)

I'm definately a morning person, I will happily get up around 5am and get on with things, but I am useless at night - if DH suggests we watch a DVD it has to start before 7.30pm ! I really, really don't like going to friends' houses for the evening as I can't bear the late nights and start kicking DH under the table !

I am not a morning person at all but unfortunately have to get up and get on with it regardless (as others do). I am much more awake in the evening and couldn't contempate going to bed before 11pm unless ill.

PMSL @ "kicking DH under the table"

I'm actually not an afternoon person...love very early mornings, love evenings and late nights, but it's the 1-6 or so shift that does me in. I just want to nap it away! :) I've always had more energy, etc, late at night but I've had to train myself to get up very early;otherwise things just don't get done. Sigh...

Agree that it's irritating when people equate getting up early with being morally superior.

Probably a hangover from sterner times.

Or maybe it's from reading too much Mary Poppins.

(Not that all larks do this, obviously).

i am not a morning person and i can't even explain how hard i find them.

i have to get up earlier than i'd like to hold down an office job (would naturally wake up about 8:30 if left alone which would not get me to a workplace on time unless i became a barmaid or theatre manager)

i have tried really hard to get up and do things before work - if i try to exercise too early before i've 'come round' i have fainted, if i eat too early before i'm properly awake i have thrown up

i'd actually LOVe to be a morning person but i just can't.

I'm an inbetweener, my natural sleep routine would be 11/12-8am. Of course now I have a newborn & a toddler I'm averaging about 5 broken hours.

I'm lucky that my work do flexitime meaning that some people come in at 5 or 6 & some don't come in till 10.

I feel ill for at least two hours every single day

always have

I have oh-so-fond memories of being forced to eat breakfast and then throwing up on the bus on the way to school

now it's the school run - I do try, but sometimes I am just not up to it and dh ends up taking them in on his way to work

I start work at 11, thank goodness

if people think I am lazy, they can kiss my ass

I feel exactly the same as your husband. If I have to get up before 7 am, I feel physically ill until about 10am. I cannot go to sleep earlier than midnight.

I coped when my children were tiny by putting CBeebies on until about 8.30 and huddling on the sofa.

I also have low blood pressure (90/55)

I am not a morning person. I am awful in the mornings. I cannot eat and I don't want to speak to anyone.

For seven years I started work at 5am which meant getting up at 4.15am, I was a horrible person for at least 2 hours after getting up.

Now I get up with dd around 7ish, she is almost and wakes up full of the beans of life and I find it so hard. She wants to help me make breakfast in the morning but I just cannot have her in the kitchen so I tell her to play while I do it, I feel guilty but I seriously cannot handle the noise and qustions that early.

DH thinks if I went to bed earlier then I would be better in the mornings, he doesn't understand that I am an night person and cannot sleep early, and even if I did go to bed early I would still be a wreck in the morning.

veryone is different. DH is a lark, I'm an owl.

I hate mornings!

I have to get up at 6.30a.m, but physically cannot talk until 8.30, tend to skip brekky, as cannot eat before 11.

I love nightime!

When i was little, my dad (who was a freelance
designer) chose to work in his studio all night and sleep in the day.. i used to get up and sit with him most nights, watch him 'draw', and listen to 'The World service'..
Maybe it's genetic!

When I go to stay with my parents they invariably tut at me staying in bed till after nine while ignoring the fact that they were asleep on the sofa during the Bill and I was awake till after midnight.

I'm a night owl and if I'm very tired and try to go to bed early, I usually then wake up around midnight refreshed from my 'nap' and can't get back to sleep for hours. Then I wake up in the morning feeling even worse! It's really annoying.

I am not a morning person. BUT, I function quite well between the hours of 10am and 3am , from 4am - 8am I am not very good.
On the odd occasion I am still working ( as in paid work,packing , loading and driving vans) at 4am I know I will still be working at 6am because I will have slowed right up and will be making stupid mistakes unless I am extra extra carefull.

Yes yes why is it that some people think that being a lark makes them somehow superior?

All that 'oh I was up at 0515 and by the time you got up I'd done 3 loads of washing, mopped the kitchen floor and ironed all my teatowels' crap.

Naff off - what you seem to forget is that whilst you were asleep on the sofa by 2015 I was doing housework, ironing, studying, mopping my kitchen floor etc until midnight!

Whatever works for you I say. I used to love being on a late shift in my pre-DC days, didn't start work until 1230 and was home by 2130 so still had a full evening ahead of me! Earlies were crap though, doing a drugs round at 0745

I am most defnately an owl, Dp is a bit of a lark but sometimes stays up late. Even when I get up with the kids Dp rarely sleeps beyond 9am, whereas I could literally sleep till about 2pm .

I have the odd night where I will crash around 8/9pm but usually stay up untill at least 1am. If I went to bed at 9pm, I would have no alone time at all. It would be get up with kids/take to school/entertain/meals/bedtime etc then sleep. Gah that would be shit, I really relish the few hours of headspace I get when they are all asleep.

I used to do shift work and always preferred nights, and paradoxically earlies. At least with an early by 2/3pm the rest of the day is yours. With lates you get up and wait for work to start then by the time you get out the day is almost over. Long days though yuck, each shift felt like about a week!

YABU. There is growing scientific evidence that people have genetically different sleep patterns. In fact, google Denmark's "B-Society" which is based on this and wants more flexibility in society to account for it. I'm definitely a night owl, always have been, always will be. It's a double whammy in the morning if you're not only shattered but people are also thinking you're lazy. I don't want MORE sleep than a morning lark, I just want it at a different TIME.