to think that "Oh, I'm just not a morning person" is just an excuse for being lazy

[TorturesInAHalfHell]

This is a general question not a question about my personal situation, but of course mine got me wondering.

My husband is "not a morning person", and apparently I am. So I wake up, groan to myself, and then get up and go about my day. He hides under the pillow, delays, groans, delays, groans, stretches, groans, and eventually sits at the kitchen table staring blankly into space.

The thing is that he's not a lazy bloke generally; he'll do laundry, make our daughter breakfast and pack a nappy bag while I'm dithering about an outfit, straightening my hair and airing the beds. So chances are, he does actually find it harder to get going in the morning than I do. And we split lie-ins on the weekend, so he's not just taking the piss, he genuinely seems to find mornings hard.

But then again, he always mysteriously "gets a second wind" just after she's in bed (she's a toddler, so 7-8pm) and always stays up after I do.

I think if he just bloody went to bed on time he'd be better in the mornings. He says he can't go to bed earlier, he won't sleep, and even after a good night's sleep he's far more draggy in the morning. And again, not a lazy guy, so maybe he's right.

So, over to you. Are you a morning person/not? Is it an actual biological thing that he's worse in the mornings than me? If you're "not a morning person" is that unfixable? How do you cope with small children? Should I actually be sympathetic instead of just telling him to go to bed earlier?

I'm wondering then why all schools and workplaces tend to have such "early" start times...

Surely schools should work around this "affliction" and not need children there by 8:40 am like ours does.

Surely each local authority should offer a selection of schools, possibly 50% that work from 11 to "about 6ish" for those parents who can't get themselves together in the monrning.

Likewise employers shouldn;t have their days from 8:30 - 5:30 like my DH's, surely people should be allowed to wander in when they are happy to be awake at about 11 and work until 9pm...

It all depends on what time you go to bed. People who are not morning persons tend to go to bed at past midnight whilst those that are tend to go to bed earlier.

Since it's 11pm here, I'm going to have to go to bed - you haven't scared me away, it's just a body clock thing!

Bath - that would be bloody fantastic

Night person here too. Doesn't matter how early I go to bed or how much sleep I get I am like a zombie in the mornings.

Bathsheba - that's one of the many things that led me to self-employment.

I'm so much more productive in the afternoon/evening.

hudddspur - it makes no difference to me what time I sleep, I can get 5hrs sleep, or 10 hours sleep and I will be exactly the same in the mornings.

Bath - isn't it all based on hours of daylight? Judging by how popular flexitime is, plenty of people like to come in later and work later.

hudd - no, it doesn't.

I'm not a morning person. It's not that I need a lot of sleep, per say, it's that it takes me a long time to go from sleep to awake. It doesn't matter what time I go to bed. When I do wake up it takes me even longer to motivate myself to actually do anything.

When I have to get up really early, for a flight or something, I find it is easier just to stay awake all night.

I honestly function far better with no sleep than not enough sleep/time to wake up.

yes I believe the working day is based around hours of daylight - which makes logical sense, but is an absolute bugger for the night owls, even the ones that force themselve to bed a decent hour of the night

The school I worked at in Zim started at 7.30am - it was pure hell. I had a room on the schol grounds so didn't have to travel far

I would be in bed most nights by 10pm latest and struggled every single morning with getting up.

What does going to bed on time mean? I naturally shift to going to bed at about 02.00 when off for a while. I'm still awake for the same number of hours as these virtuous morning people. I'm alwasy shocked on here when read of adults going to bed at 9.30/10.00 Weird

There are natural "owls" and natural "larks". My DH is a lark, I am an owl. I do not function well in the morning, he ceases to function around 8pm and is usually in bed by 9. If I go to bed at 9pm I am frequently awake in the middle of the night for a couple of hours; whereas if I go to bed later (pref around 11pm but often later than that due to MN other things) I sleep through no problems.

People have researched owls and larks - owls take better to shift work than larks - it shortens larks' life expectancy more than owls'.

So - YABU!

I am one of those annoying morning people I'm afraid. I run a guest house so am happily stoking up the fires/getting pots and pans out at 6am. There's a huge difference in guests that time in the morning. Some are happy and chatty where as others just want to be left alone. I'm useless after 8pm though but never seem to be able to get to bed 'till midnight somehow.

ok, it's only the first page but just to show I wasn't making it up about the research.

I'd like to make it clear that I am actually lazy as well though

"It all depends on what time you go to bed. People who are not morning persons tend to go to bed at past midnight whilst those that are tend to go to bed earlier."

Oh if only it was that easy.

When I started work at 8am (an hours drive away), I'd be in bed by 9-10pm, and would still be dead to the world till about 3pm. Tbh I often didn't remember how I got to work, which was scary.

I try to go to bed earlier, but find myself tossing and turning until later than I would be awake if I went to bed at my 'usual' time i.e. 11pm - 12am.

Even when I have been awake all night I struggle to sleep before 11pm. I need a few hours darkness and quiet time to unwind before I can sleep.

i think there is a certain biological element, but you can affect that. dd, from birth, was more likely to be awake in the eve, and sleep in for the morning. also, from just a few months old, she wouldn't have any food/milk when she first woke up, but after an hour or so would be ready for breakfast.

however, we've moved to the US & you'd think that would help us to 'reset', but no, we all seem to be full of life in the eve, and more tired in the morning.

still, i have almost never been late for work, so clearly i've learnt how to manage the situation.

I'm a morning person - I wake up at the same time every day. I don't really like having a lie in, I usually get out of bed about 15 minutes after I've woken up.

DH is a night owl (and a bit lazy as well).

Could have written your post, except I never get a lie in. Dream of them being teenagers and wallowing in bed all morning!

Neither dh nor I are morning people.

So I hate getting up at 6 every morning and am gradually finding it increasingly hard. But then over the years I've gradually got more and more tired. Does make it easy to be tucked up by 10 pm though which could never do once. So dh and I have different body-clocks now and go to bed separately most days.

That said I find I just switch into automatic mode. (Breath a sigh of relief at 8-8:15 once all immediate jobs with getting dc up are done and I can have a drink and draw breath.) Last time dh got up with the kids he had a temper tantrum when he realised what his day was going to entail. (Was SO ill and had still been up and down all night with youngest.) So I think there's a fair dash of entitlement mixed in there too.

I think the only way round for you it is to insist that splitting the lie-ins is non-negotiable (though I'm not one to talk since dh flat out refuses and can't / can't cope with do(ing) ds2's physio first thing anyway) and ignore all comments on the subject. Then it's up to him how he manages his time.

I am a night-owl, DH is a morning person.

Yesterday evening after DS was in bed, I scrubbed the kitchen, tidied and hoovered the living room, decluttered a whole area of junk and a few other jobs. It is when I have my energy.

I am rubbish at mornings, it takes me ages to get going and I have always struggled to eat breakfast.

I am bright as a button in the morning and am always up before 7, even at weekends.

However I slip into a gradual decline over the course of the day and by 9pm am clock watching wondering if it's bedtime yet.

I'm a night owl. Always have been. I get to about 11pm or midnight, then feel like I could go out running, for long walks, clean the house, do the ironing, read books.

When I can (rarely nowadays, but possible when I was a student), I stay up til 5 or 6am, then get up around 2 or 3pm. That's my ideal body clock. I function far far better at night. It makes not one iota of difference whether I've had lots, or a little, sleep the night before.

I'm another one who would very much appreciate a world made for nightowls! Think how much more productive society would be! And there'd be far less traffic jams and rush hour annoyances if the day was staggered

I´m always crap in the morning & take a while to "get going".

My husband is awake & up as soon as he wakes up iyswim.

My daughter is up & ready to leave for school whatever time she goes to bed & son is always stumbling around & tired.

Funny though, he´s usually up at about 7.30 at the weekend & she can sleep until 11!

YABU. I find it incredibly hard to get up in the morning, always have done, but can easily keep alert in the evenings until 1 or 2 am.

That applies even if I've had an early night - I really DON'T fall asleep if I go to bed before 11, will just lie there thinking about stuff. LIkewise, even if I've had an early morning, I will have energy in the evenings and get a "second wind" about 10pm.

I'm not convinced about the "training yourself" view - I had to get up early for years for school and still always found it really hard.

My DH on the other hand is chirpy in the mornings but is yawning by 10pm. Even though we keep similar hours.

Once DC arrive I am hoping he will do the early mornings and I will stay up at night... (though I gather that is unusual)